to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

[Hullygully]

Might, might be brave enough for IPOAT lunch.

Perhaps we could go in period dress, so as to hide complete lack of style truly reflect nature of IPOAT.

No-one's asked meeeeeeeeee...

all IPOATESSES are 'invited'...

Where would be a good place to meet up?
I'm in London, but would be happy to travel...

Ooooo meet up thingy. Hmm. I am west, but could get to London on train, a jolly day out t'would be and a bit scary.
Meanwhile back on deck.....I here there is a a storm coming and we must lash ourselves to the mast. Bondage anyone?

Hear . I am going a bit deaf. It is affecting my spelling.

A timely warning, Mme Mini, some of the midshipmen have offered their help

Perhaps that wasn't the sort of bondage you were hoping for? We must clear the decks, a poor sailor has tripped over some of our tatting.

A meeting in period dress? Yes we really won't stand out will we.

I think that sailor needs some remedial massage. Leave us a while. It can take ages to realign the joints

I don't think that sailor would be much interested in our charms. I think Mr Rochester might bestir him rather.

Mr Rochester is somewhat encumbered by his leg. I feel obliged to tend to the poor sailor myself.

Good morrow ladies. Hopefully we are all refreshed for a fine day's sailing.

The sailor feels much better now

The poor sailor seems quite wrung out and exhausted. Miss Fids must have worked him quite hard at his galley tasks. I have thrown him overboard to refresh him.

Now, Brother Japhramazekiel has requested our presence for a light lettuce and prayer meeting this afternoon. It is our chance to impress upon him the suitability and modesty of the gels. We may need to drug them.

Alas Brother Japhramazekiel was distracted ashore and missed the boat. On the bright side, more lettuce for us gels for our prayer meeting with the crew
Mistress Jins may be a tad late, she must assist this poor sailor with his ablutions, that he may be cleansed within and without. Such a selfless dear gel!

An IPOAT luncheon?

May I suggest the fair city of Chicago?

oh yes please Cheerful.

Fear not Miss Fids, you were quite mistook! Brother Japhramazekiel went not ashore as it is but dens of iniquity and ill-doing. He was all the time in his cabin, reading his missal and praying that his brothers might be well-wed.

Is everyone suitably attired for lunch?

Indeed I tatted the basket and Mistress Mini tatted the dog. For she is cleverer.

Sad Glad to hear the Brother JLongName is still with us.

I'll quote a little conversation I had with my GP if I may.

Me: Seeing as I've followed your advice for 6 weeks now with no improvement and have worsened I have been to an alternative therapist who can feel two significant obstructions. Do you think it might me worth doing some diagnostic imagery?

GP: No I don't think so

Anyway back to IPOAT reality. These sailors are filthy

The sanitation facilities on this vessel are sadly lacking

Jins, can you afford to have it done privately?

I can't Huls :(

It's taking all my spare cash paying someone to have a shit for me :)

I'm talking to a friend's GP wife at the moment to see if she has any ideas how to get round the system

Good.

Can you change GP? Is yours a man? I changed on the grounds I wanted a woman, you're allowed.

In my practice there are five docs and everyone fights to see mine as she is the only one that does her job properly..

No I have a female GP. None of them do their job properly as far as I can tell. I have a friend who is a specialist community nurse and she says she hardly ever gets a referral from my practice. They seem to have a competition to see who can get a patient closest to death before taking appropriate action.

The other practices are no better as far as I can make out

Ugh! :( Poor Jins. That sounds ridiculous and like someone needs to be added to Cheerful's Slap List immediately.

Do all of the doctors seem crap?

Ok. I'd just sit in the doc's till I got the referral.

Goodness the weather has turned mild today. Perhaps we could all indulge in a bit of seabathing to aid cure our ills?

Mistress Jins, sorry to hear you haven't had any luck with the gp. My gp told dh recently that every referral he makes is challenged, and hardly any are allowed to go though. It's a bloody mess quite frankly.

Whilst I am sure Brother J(whateverhisnameis) is a lovely person I am not sure he is the calibre of husband the IPOAT gels are really looking for. Perhaps we could aim for a bit less beard and a bit more conversation? (yes alright, but I would talk to him after, honest!)

Hope you do get round the frankly rubbish sounding system, Jins. What did the GP suggest, another 6 weeks, no improvement, then another 6 weeks and so on?

Mistress Sybil, I concur with your views on the calibre of husband we gels yearn for deserve. I must say the Reverend Jackman seems most suitable. Did I not see him on the deck one time, clad as the Good Lord made him, splayed and enjoying the elements? It was a moving spiritual moment for me, that sight.

Now look here. It's not easy finding stiff, upright men for such wayward and flight gels as you passel.

You will marry these splendid beardy specimens, kneel down and give thanks in your homespun and calico modesty bloomers