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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

999 replies

Hullygully · 06/07/2011 12:29

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Fiderer · 27/09/2011 16:38

The Rev Jackman could be stiff and upright. I might consider kneeling down.

Jins · 27/09/2011 18:05

I am still very proud of the moment I found that picture of the reverend jackman and feel it's time to view it again. However my phone will not aid me in the task. Sad

CaptainHornblower · 27/09/2011 18:07

Try PALS Jins?

CaptainHornblower · 27/09/2011 18:07

Because you are ill

Jins · 27/09/2011 18:13

Now that has proper cheered me up. It's good to see a man so devout in his faith is it not?

Pals looks the ticket cap'n. I shall be bending their ear tomorrow for sure.

At least I can can't blame my doctor for treating symptoms rather than cause as she has done neither. I would like "I told you I was ill" on a tatted headstone please

Fiderer · 27/09/2011 18:16

Ah yes, not on deck. On shore leave at the beach. Thank you Captain.

The poor man looks troubled. I have room in my cabin and can apply poultices. And pray. And hope.

Hullygully · 28/09/2011 09:36

Today, at 12 bells, the light lettuce luncheon will be served for the introducing of the gels to Brother Japhramazekiel's brothers. Are the jomespuns neatly pressed? And the missals ready? I heard a rumour that some of the gels had slipped ashore, but naturally I dismissed it as scurrilous tittle-tattle

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sybilvimes · 28/09/2011 09:56

I agree that Reverand Jackman is far more the calibre of husband we should be striving for. He is both devout and studious. Why, just this morning I found him re-affirming himself in the waters. I was so moved by such devotion that I stayed to soak up his teachings. I fear therefore that I may be late for luncheon. Please begin in my absence...

Jins · 28/09/2011 10:04

I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to the light lettuce luncheon.

The cabin boy has been pressed into service on lettuce chopping duties.

I am finishing the last of the bibs for the gels

Hullygully · 28/09/2011 10:12

Oh well done Madame Jins, such sterlig and devoted ministrations. I do wish the gels would stop harping on about the Rev Jackson, he is not suitable at all, I have heard a whisper about his unsuitable attitude to the Eucharist.

I have been down to see the gels and make sure that are preparing. No one could doubt their enthusiasm.

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Jins · 28/09/2011 10:17

The very fact that he is a man of the cloth should give them a clue! He's hardly the marrying type. I too have heard alarming tales of his behaviour outside the church.

However when he does devotion he does it well

Hullygully · 28/09/2011 10:20

Isn't it fortunate that we have Captain Hornblower to conduct the shipboard nuptials? And dear mr Rochester and his leg to give the gels away!

What say you to a wedding breakfast of ship's biscuit, pork and lettuce posset? There must be no alcohol of course, but us married ladies could perhaps have a discreet sherry beforehand.

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Jins · 28/09/2011 10:25

That sounds wonderful. I think I may have a discreet brandy as it aids the digestion.

Then I can have a discreet sherry just before lunch

Fiderer · 28/09/2011 10:31

That poor woman with the bib seems to have a protuberance growing out of her head. I am not sure it is not the work of Beelzebub. The demons prey on the worthy-looking first.

Here Miss Sybil and I are ready and waiting eagerly for the lettuce.

Jins · 28/09/2011 10:35

Lawks a mercy the gels are escaping and we have so little time to get them married off before the end of the thread.

Quick Cap'n - send a boat after them

Hullygully · 28/09/2011 10:36

Madame Jins! Quick the gels are trying to escape have a little exercise on the water before their nuptials. Let us return them to their cabin where they can pray and think pure thoughts.

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Hullygully · 28/09/2011 10:37

Let us summon Captain Hornblower from his instruments and bid him marry them before further misadventure befalls them and puts their maidenheads in peril.

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Jins · 28/09/2011 10:43

I fear my pre prandial sherry has made me light headed

I shall sit with the witnesses with a poultice applied to my head

Fiderer · 28/09/2011 10:44
Hullygully · 28/09/2011 10:46

No, you are too much trouble to remain unmarried. Once you have 13 or 14 children you will settle down to a happy homespun life.

Captain Hornblower!

How fortunate that the Captain has special Captainly powers and will be able to wed them come what may.

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Jins · 28/09/2011 10:52

Resistance is futile

Honeydragon · 28/09/2011 10:53

strolls in at the end in attempted thread murder

Honeydragon · 28/09/2011 10:54

bugger

Hullygully · 28/09/2011 10:57

Oh how lovely Miss Honey is here to be wed too. We have a particular brother in mind for you. He is locked in the scuttle presently, but we will release him for the nuptials.

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