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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

999 replies

Hullygully · 06/07/2011 12:29

OP posts:
Riveninside · 14/07/2011 11:33

Lady mariah, jolly good of you to come. I have tatted a delightful blanket for mistress hully. here she is modelling it. And now i must attend ro the Colonel in the barn. There were some very strange noises coming through the door and I fear he made need immediate ministrations. A garlic posset and lemon tissane are just what he needs.

LadyMariahStubbornlyDudgeonly · 14/07/2011 11:39

I say, can I help? I'm only two tourniquets and a amputation away from my Florence Nightingale bade, and a Colonel in need of ministrations sounds just the job.

Is he awfully handsome and tragic? I got a distinction in Pathos and Bedside Manner you know.

LadyMariahStubbornlyDudgeonly · 14/07/2011 11:41

Oh, I say, I meant my FloNi badge. Mama says that young ladies don't need to be taught useless things like spelling and typing, but I can't help thinking they might be useful occasionally.

Jins · 14/07/2011 15:01

I did spot the Dracul-Palanquin connection and if I'd spotted it on the first page of AIBU then the penny might have dropped

Sadly I'm a bit thick at the moment

Anyway I have a whole week before I head off on my jollies to Scotland which I understand is full of blood suckers although somewhat smaller than those under discussion

I'm winding down work - not as easy at it sounds as I have been busy busy busy in my first month of self employment - and promise to keep up better

minimammoth · 14/07/2011 17:46

On a sweeter note I am home, thankyou, Lady M. You are in Transylvania it seems. < trying to keep up with the plot Hully, Riven where are you? Its getting a bit 'Cludo'.>
I do hope you enjoy your sojourn in the land of mists, malts and midges Jins, will you be joining us at the hall, the curate does so miss your afternoons of scripture study together.
Back to the still herb drying shed.

Original poster
Hullygully · 14/07/2011 18:09

Alas and alack, dear gels and Ladies, I have been summoned to furrin parts on matters most pressing and will be gone a number of weeks. I pray you all keep good spirits and pure hearts and do not let your tatting fall into disuse.

A posset a day keeps the arteries at play.

OP posts:
minimammoth · 14/07/2011 20:32

We know that it is really a long term obedience training Hully. Do write.

Fiderer · 14/07/2011 20:50

I too am abroad the next few weeks. I am in sore need of recuperation, am quite worn out having kept the Hall going under the Under-Gardener difficult circumstances.
I know not if I may have access to telegraph or telegram. Be assured I shall keep the IPOAT Hall in my thoughts.
Yours tattingly,
Miss Fid.

Fiderer · 14/07/2011 20:54

Oh and will some bugger change Cook's poultice while I'm gone? She's cranky as all hell. Again.

minimammoth · 15/07/2011 09:09

Farewell ladies. happy summer adventures, we shall look forward to reading your nature notes and admiring your daintily executed watercolours on you return. We can put cook into the capable hands of Lady Mariah, so that she can attain her Florence Nightingale badge..
and so good to see the dashing captain, I trust you are hale and hearty sir, and not troubled by the 'old' problem.

BelleDameSansMerci · 16/07/2011 07:14

Oh tis a bright and fair dawn this day. I am abroad in search of a refreshing tisane. You are sorely missed already Mistress Fiderer... The curate has such enthusiasm and shows no sign of fatigue. I fear a poultice may also soon be required.

Riveninside · 16/07/2011 10:05

So, many of our gels going to foreign climes? Pack plenty of decent food and watch out for those handsome young men who lurk, waiting for a lady of good breeding to saunter by.
I shall remain in IPOAT halls and keep the Gardener working hard on the job.
I may venture from the barn to the fair county of Nor-folk where i hear tatting is a county sport and theres only two surnames. I shall endevour to find out why.

BelleDameSansMerci · 16/07/2011 10:17

Oh yes, I have fantasised heard fearful tales of delicate young ladies taken and ravished by dashing sheiks

Do take care to keep your ankles covered at all times.

Fiderer · 16/07/2011 11:07

I am still packing my portmanteau for tomorrow's journey.

Un Fortunately the chances of my being ravished by a sheik are slim. I am off to a green island where I hear they have a tisane of thick black stout topped with a creamy head and a selection of fine possets distilled from grain. I am most keen to sample the latter as I know it will excite Mistress Mimi and we may in time produce similar in our distillery drying shed.

Mistress Riverinside! I shall spend the 2nd week also in Nor-folk. How relieved I am to learn that tatting is a county sport and I must not fear to lose my tatting skills.

Riveninside · 16/07/2011 11:17

So, yiu re off to the Emerald Isle. I hope there shall be no hey nonny nonny and fiddle dee dee going on. Mark my words mistress Fiderer, even the Barn will not be enough to contain such slatternly behaviour.

Fiderer · 16/07/2011 14:01

Sadly Fortunately there will neither nonnying nor fiddling. There is no Mister Fiderer (of any use) and I have in my keep three young charges. I share Mistress Belle's fantasy fear of being ravished by a sheikh.
Although there may be curates and Mistress Belle has had such a bloom in her cheek since her acquaintance with Curate Indefatigable.

sybilvimes · 16/07/2011 15:27

Bon voyage to Mistress Fiderer and Mistress Hully

I was wondering about the cliffs surrounding the Hall yester eve when I noticed a strange light flickering from our cove. Being a nosy intrepid young miss I hastened to discover what was amiss only to be accosted by a young handsome pirate Naturally I was delighted shocked, and tried not very hard to escape but alas he made me his prisoner. He did release me once once his crew were safely away but I fear my maidenhead I shall never be the same again.

I feel it is my civic duty to visit the cove again this eve to ensure his nefarious activities do not continue. Please ladies, do not be alarmed therefore if you see me later tonight looking slightly rumpled, it will have been the ride in to the cove that has caused it.

Fiderer · 16/07/2011 15:46

Pirates? Buccaneers? Perhaps instead of plundering they would care to be taught the gentle art of tatting? 'Twould surely help in the long watches of the night aboard the "Jolly Roger".

I agree with Mistress Sybil about our civic duty. Surely we should aid those who would benefit from our genteel and noble outlook? Mistress Belle has most assuredly learned many arts from the Curate Indefatigable.

Do please bring any pirates you may ensnare happen upon to the barn and see to it they are suitably instructed.

BelleDameSansMerci · 16/07/2011 16:44

I am much perturbed. My dear <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.popularvirals.com/images/pirates/pirates-937-redhead-woman.jpg&imgrefurl=www.popularvirals.com/pirates.php%3Fpage%3D8&usg=__krowE2Lwp6mBsHtKXlaFHPE0b70=&h=318&w=300&sz=30&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=GgGmHaub2HLO9M:&tbnh=154&tbnw=150&ei=s6khTtjiHYik8QPD_a3WCQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dpirates%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26biw%3D981%26bih%3D661%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=142&vpy=-1&dur=2071&hovh=231&hovw=218&tx=110&ty=266&page=1&ndsp=12&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&biw=981&bih=661" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">curate may not be all that he appears... At times his form appears covered with strange scripts and cyphers. I fear there may be something of the night about him at least I hope so. He seems reluctant to return to the church but I wonder if his intentions are honourable although I may shutting the door after the stallion has bolted.

Fiderer · 16/07/2011 17:23

Mistress Belle, your curate seems to have taken on strangely feminine form. Perhaps he is afflicted by an overdose of oestro-gin and you should reduce his intake of tisanes? Mistress Mini and I have been experimenting with our tisanes and possets in the distillery drying shed and it may be that there was more gin active herb ingredients than usual in our last batch.

BelleDameSansMerci · 16/07/2011 17:26
BelleDameSansMerci · 16/07/2011 17:30

Ahem, as I was saying, the curate has much that is most surprising about his person...

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