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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

999 replies

Hullygully · 06/07/2011 12:29

OP posts:
sybilvimes · 16/07/2011 17:36

I do look very affecting in that portrait though Belle, it was kind of you to take the time to sketch me. I know how busy the curate keeps you.

Yes gels, do feel free to come to the cove with me tonight. Perhaps we could hold a prayer meeting and help the pirates to cleanse their dirty souls?

Fiderer · 16/07/2011 17:55

Well, my portmanteau is packed. The young charges will need to sleep long tonight in preparation for their long journey and the Housekeeper is most reliable in case one of them should wake (unlike Cook and her poultice obsession) so - I do think a stroll to a cove and a turn about in the wholesome night air may be very welcoming and indeed healthy in view of the long journey ahead.

Riveninside · 16/07/2011 17:56

Goodness, the curate looks like he needs help in his ministrations immediatly. I am aeay dear gels, dont wait up!

UmamiSanguini · 17/07/2011 07:36

Beware ladies, I'm not sure that the pirates' casual attitude to the law is the only thing to worry about.

Fiderer · 17/07/2011 11:00

Relieved to say I fell asleep - gracious me, what a sight, not at all the bronzed hardened ruffian I had hoped for expected.

Am sitting on my portmanteau awaiting the carriage.

There is a spare key to the distillery drying shed in the vase under the picture of St. Mary the Hairy and a set of spare keys for the Hall in the drawer of the rickety table under the picture of St. Justin the Lustin'.

Please remember not to give Cook any of the juniper-berry-flavoured tisane. No matter how hard she begs.
Watkins may have a glass of ale with his supper but only one. Too much and he goes into the village looking for widows and we all know how that turns out. Inconsolable sobbing and badly-written poetry. And the widows were much aggrieved too.
Farewell, IPOAT Hall Ladies and Gels. I hope those still in Transylvania return safely.

BelleDameSansMerci · 17/07/2011 15:14

Fare thee well, Mistress Fiderer. You will be greatly missed.

minimammoth · 17/07/2011 21:21

not 'in charge' but have a big dangley bunch of keys. We have much to do to whilst the other ladies are away. We must stay abreast of our gels training. There's the ankle turning module, bushing prettily, managing ones drawers, not to mention extreme tatting. and we must attend to the new poultice design and tatt a new truss for the curate. The gardeners and will need direction

BelleDameSansMerci · 17/07/2011 22:38
minimammoth · 18/07/2011 10:31

Well done Belle, thats the thing. That should occupy you for a few hours. Steady with the shuttle though, we don't want you having sore fingers.
I must go and check that all is well in the distillary herb drying shed.

sybilvimes · 19/07/2011 08:47

I fear that may be the translyvania kind of pirate. We have a much better kind here at IPOAT cove

I was wondering if we should perhaps hire a dancing teacher to compliment the tatting lessons? This gentleman seems very limber. I know I can use some brushing up on my cotillion, how about you Belle?

I shall of course, make sure this doesn't interfer with my shift lessons in the distillary drying shed

minimammoth · 19/07/2011 11:56

Miss Sybil, what an excellent idea. We shall shine with our graceful footwork, daintily turned ankles and absolutely no spinning on the head. We will surely need partners, I am sure Watkins, the undergardener and maybe the curate might be persuaded. Alas I fear Mr Rochester's new leg will need breaking in, he will have to remain in the attic.

DrPolidori · 19/07/2011 23:38

Right. I shall try to park my annoyance at Mme hully for her rubbish tiitle.

Dear ladies remaining, shall I sell outmy business to a a fab turkish resto, or grind inexorably towards insolvency?

UmamiSanguini · 20/07/2011 09:27

Oh that is truly crap DrP. Is there no solution in sight? Are you still enjoying it at all? What will you do if you close the Kitchen?

Perhaps if you flash some turkey mince around Marco will offer you job as head chef at one of his places.

UmamiSanguini · 20/07/2011 09:28

Are the Turks offering enormous bag of swag?

minimammoth · 20/07/2011 10:05

Insolvency does not sound much fun Mimi. Would there be any change after sale. Could you start up elsewhere? Woud that be fun ?

BelleDameSansMerci · 21/07/2011 18:52

.

minimammoth · 21/07/2011 18:53

The halls are very echoey tonight. Have you made a decision Dr Polidori?
I am going to the north tower to balance on the pinnacle whilst tatting, just to amuse myself you undestand.

DrPolidori · 21/07/2011 19:14

I'm going to close during august and have a jolly good think, and maybe regroup. Crunch lots of numbers etc etc.

Riveninside · 21/07/2011 19:16

I will be taking the country air from tomorrow beyond reachnof even the most hardy pigeon. Fair well ladies, the young squires of Norfolk await...

UmamiSanguini · 21/07/2011 20:08

Lawks. Everyone going off on sabbatical and only pore old me left here to look after the gentlemen. It's going to be hard, hard work, but I hope I can rise to it.

The Colonel is not best pleased at his seriously diminished harem.

I hope the crunchy numbers work out for you Dr P.

UmamiSanguini · 21/07/2011 20:10

Hmm, apparently I am back in Blighty. How fortunate I am that all of our Transylvanian husbands were kind enough to travel with me in order to sample the virgins delights of Albion.

sybilvimes · 28/07/2011 18:45

Sorry I have not been in touch ladies. I spent the last few days helping the governess at the Twitchett-Simkins. The boys are home from local state primary Eton. Apparently, amusing themselves has not been on the syllabus this year.

Anyway, here I am now. Also, I am pleased to say that I have been spending my evenings at the IPOAT cove and the pirate captain and I have been having a lovely time getting to know one another. He is really very charming and insatiable

I shall hopefully be able to devote more time to tatting now that the boys have settled a little. I happened upon a lovely pattern for a pair of handcuffs bracelets, that I feel the captain and I would find useful.

minimammoth · 31/07/2011 16:53

I too have returned from land of the druids, and have picked up a few tips that should come in handy in the herb drying shed. My pressed flower collecton is coming on a treat. I am sure you collected some fine sea shells on your visit to the cove Miss Sybil, but do comb that seaweed from your hair, hand over the dubloons, and what is that smell?

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