I don't think I am but am prepared to be told I am if the MN Jury thinks so

[fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran]

DD1 is 12, she is at her dad's this weekend, and has gone to her grandmother as they have a farm and it is silage time.

She has just sent me a picture of herself in overalls DRIVING A TRACTOR WITH A TRAILER ON IT

I have texted her and she is delighted to be allowed to cart the "near home" fields where she doesn't have to go on the road.

I am most displeased about this. I think it's dangerous and irresponsible.

But past conversations with ex when DS was this age did not go well, as he cannot see the problem nor can his family. They all did it at that age.

So, oh MN July, AIBU to think she's too young, it's too much responsibility and far too dangerous?

I don't know why I went back to the beginning of the thread but what a ludicrous first reply you got. "YABU, What a fantastic opportunity!, I assume they've given her a safety talk?"

@fuckme the last 7 or so pages show you are clearly going to believe what you want to, regardless of anyone's counter-views, mine included. I can only wish you best of luck, there is little point in discussing this further.

But I do think you do need to ask yourself exactly what you are trying to achieve.

Omigawd - what I am trying to achieve is keep my daughter safe and not have her be put in a position where she is in danger and breaks the law.

What exactly are you getting at with that comment?

Here's an indisputable statistic:

Every death or injury caused by an underage child driving or operating machinery on a farm whether that injury is to themselves or to another...

WAS 100% AVOIDABLE

Why does Omigawd keep inferring that I have some kind of agenda?

"Omigawd Mon 04-Jul-11 00:06:03

Btw, reading the OP's latest posts I suspect this isn't really a farm safety thing, this is more a bitter scrap with ExH about control, and the poor kids are being used as pawns."

I have asked for omigawd to apologise for that comment. She has not. In no way whatever is this not a farm safety issue.

Flick - don't know the rules where you were but in Ireland its illegal for a child under the age of 14 to be driving or indeed even a passenger on a tractor. So they are breaking the law. And my dd is over the age of criminal responsibility.

Have you read the whole thread? There have been a number of serious accidents/near misses on the farm in question. BIL does not have a great record on farm safety.

Goran - I think it's time you accepted the truth

Omigawd is your ExH

Flick- she was on her own, with a silage trailer on.

If you choose to let your 10 year old do something similar on their own, please be aware that in the UK the age of criminal reponsibility is 10 so if there was an accident your child would be subject to a potential criminal prosecution.

TeamDamon - I don't get it though. All the way through the thread I have said that I am not going to stop it, not prepared to stop her seeing her dad, at most I'm going to talk to the solicitor - so how the hell that is using my children as pawns I don't know. If I was doing that then there's a million other ways I could have done it.

I don't get a lot of what's been said on this thread - some posters seem to have an unbelievably casual attitude to safety. I know there is an argument to be made that the UK has become too health and safety conscious in the last couple of decades, but I think irresponsibly condoning/encouraging criminal behaviour which could result in serious injury or death is perhaps a touch too far the other way!

"Omigawd is your ExH"

Yeah!

It's got me wondering that.

I know that a least one of them who thinks it's a "marvellous opportunity" was berating another poster for allowing their child to go into a next door's garden where there could be a garden tool lying about.

Thread carry over but whatever. Just to say I'm glad Goran isn't taking them seriously.

The good thing about this thread is a personal one for Goran I think. She was "prepared to be told she was unreasonable" but during this thread and some of its arguments she has really firmed up her views on it and got some very very cogent and very very salient arguments about why what she feels is quite right. This is the sort of thing that can strengthen one in a real life exchange. She now knows in her own head for absolutely certain that her gut instinct was a good one and she can move forward on that.

Goose - you posted exactly what I was about to post.

Yes the thread has given me good arguments - and for anyone who is interested, the tipping point for me was realising it is illegal - how many of you would sit back and let your child do something that could end up in them having a criminal record for the rest of their lives? And if you hadn't done your best to stop it, would you not feel guilty?

Also, the its how its always been/I did it argument holds no water for me - when I was young there were no laws about seatbelts/car seats and we used to head off in the car with kids on grandparents knees and cousins in the boot. Now we know that's dangerous and there are laws about car seats/seat belts. How many of the oh it's fun brigade break those laws?

I agree with Maryz in that there doesn't seem to much you can do.
Not sure that your DD is 'the real loser', though...
I was moved to mention this thread to my DM, a cautious and law abiding citizen if ever there was one, who just laughed at idea of farming families not encouraging anyone over 9 or 10 years old to muck in with work - and drive tractors.
I completely understand that you'd be really, really concerned, but bearing in mind that it's so normal for farming families' DCs to drive tractors, and it has been for so many extremely good, useful experience, your DD doesn't have to be the 'loser'.

Maryz - I agree with your second post - I think she shouldn't be put in the position, but suspect she may well be. Am just praying that the silage all falls on my time with her for the rest of this year at least.

As to the legal aspect - I feel the same as you do. What if she tipped the trailer and crushed another youngster? Would everyone just go "ah well she had to learn sure we always did it" - I don't think so. And she would feel terribly guilty, and that guilt alone would blight the rest of her life. And that's before I look at the legal and criminal ramifications for her future.

I like the kids to have exciting, adventurous experiences (horse riding, kayaking are two examples) but once it becomes a matter of letting them do something illegal, I cannot sit back and let that happen.

The law is the law is the law. You can't pick and choose. I can't say the kid next door shouldn't be driving on the road before the age of 17 if I let her drive a tractor underage. I can't say the man round the corner shouldn't be growing cannabis if I let her drive the tractor underage. What about the uninsured untaxed driver who hit me a few weeks ago? That's OK then - morally I haven't a leg to stand on if I pick and choose laws to obey.

Tchootnika - first off it's not just driving a tractor, it's a tractor and huge silage trailer.

Second off, no matter how normal it is, it is illegal

I knew exactly what you meant Maryz

pink - can you not then contact GPs themselves and point this out very, very clearly and strongly with link to HSA? (and clearly pointing out their own potential liability?)
Sorry if last post seemed fliappant, btw.

Having grown up on a farm and now married to a farmer I would say it is irresponsible to let an unaccompanied 12 year old drive a tractor and trailer. I used to drive tractors at that age but only to steer at low speed, someone else took charge of the other bits like gears etc. Towing a heavy trailer through gateways, which are often uneven, is very different to steering a tractor round an open field.

There has been much talk of this being a "marvellous opportunity" which working on a farm is but safety (hers and other workers) must be paramount. Feeding the calves, dealing with the hens etc is a great way to spend the holidays but operating large machinery is not.