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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder what people do all day who don't work and whose children are at school?

163 replies

Choufleur · 01/07/2011 13:17

I've had the day off today. Dropped Ds off at school, taken dog for a walk, emptied and re-loaded dishwasher, done two loads of washing (only one is hanging on the line so far), hoovered and mopped floors and nipped to the shops.

OP posts:
LovelyDaffs · 02/07/2011 07:59

I amble about having a very nice life, dotted with a nit of routine family maintenance. Am about to get a cleaner because I don't find cleaning much fun.

My work begins about three ish starting with the school run, followed by some ferrying, nagging, cooking and engaging. I finish about 9 when dd1 goes to bed, but we will have watched Corrie or something else of a similar high standard so the last hour is a wind down. Grin so shoot me.

Indigojohn · 02/07/2011 08:22

Janey - why have a dog and bark yourself?
I did work for a looong time. Then I had the children and DH started to earn silly money so now I swan about, ride my horses and have a pretty nice life.

Glad you like working. It's all about doing what suits each individual, no?

TalkinPeace2 · 02/07/2011 22:19

I had a cleaner but she and I had different views on what a clean sink looks like and she was allergic to radio 4
now I have a generally clean and organised house
especially when DH is working away

LynetteScavo · 02/07/2011 22:26

As a child I always felt a bit sorry for mums who stayed at home when thier DC were at school.

Now I'm insanely Envy

I did have 5 weeks of not working when all DC were at school. We all had tidy sock drawers. It was bliss.

TalkinPeace2 · 02/07/2011 22:38

My Mum worked full time until she remarried when I was 10.
Up till then she relied heavily on favours and lifts from friends.
I make a point of offering lifts and favours to friends whenever I can - especially on rainy days when I have spare seats in the car.

Not having to work fixed hours is a luxury that I appreciate.

ggirl · 02/07/2011 22:42

school days are very short
when I have a day off I am rudely reminded of this
plenty enough to do at home to fill it
and then there's always shopping

alistron1 · 02/07/2011 22:45

When DS2 started school I had a 'gap' year. I can tell you what I did all day whilst all 4 of my kids were at school. Fuck all. It was great.

BTW, I've been a parent for nearly 15 years and have worked/studied for 12 of those. After 4 kids I had really earned that 'gap' year.

iscream · 03/07/2011 06:03

Clean, cook, garden, read, watch tv, shop, hobbies.

Peachy · 03/07/2011 10:06

If I ever ahve to watch JK, Loose OWmen and Doctors I will lay myself down and formally give up.

AspieMum2Twinsplus1 · 03/07/2011 10:57

While the kids are at school all housework, shopping, medical appointments, my own personal hygenie, etc has to be done- I have 3 special needs kids so I have to to be able to watch them constantly even thought the 2 who need the most watching are 11 years old and can do very little once they're home. Even typing this in I have one eye on them and can need to stop what I am doing without warning.

missymoola · 03/07/2011 11:29

my mil sits on computer smoking all day and waits for asda delivery.

manicinsomniac · 03/07/2011 13:09

I think I'd probably go clinically mad (der than I already am!). I cannot occupy myself or cope with unstructured time at all, I'm a nightmare.

I have 13 weeks school holiday a year and I hate them. I can cope when the children are around and I can do stuf with them but when they're otherwise occupied and I have free time it drives me mad.

I suppose, hypothetically, I would have to set up a really structured non working weekly schedule - gym every morning, volunteer work every afternoon, something like that.

Al0uiseG · 03/07/2011 13:14

Well, I'm lounging in the sunshine in my bikini, one ds is at his friends and the other ds is here. The only thing I have drunk today is pink champagne. It's working for me to be honest :)

munchontwigs · 03/07/2011 13:16

My neighbour hasn't worked since their DD arrived 25 years ago. DD has now moved out.
Neighbours husband works full time. Neighbour watches Star Trek, Star Gate, or other sci fi. She also reads books, or has friends over for tea.
Most of her time is spent sitting in the lounge.
She does a little tidying every day, but doesn't cook/clean/iron/shop.
She is of the firm belief that women should be supported by their DH's.
I disagree, but they seem happy enough.

janey68 · 03/07/2011 13:16

Pmsl missymoola

FabbyChic · 03/07/2011 13:18

My neighbour has a 7 year old and does not work, she is rarely in during the day, meeting friends for coffee/breakfast and even sometimes lunch. She doesnt even do the shopping until her husband is home the weekend.

She does however cook lengthy meals, her house is cleaned once a week, and their kitchen is messy I can see it from my kitchen.

Her garden is tended sometimes but mainly at weekends.

I have no idea what she does, I work a 40 hour week plus travelling time and my house is spotless.

She has just started a writing course to fill the time, albeit says she is always busy.

janey68 · 03/07/2011 13:40

Proof, fabbychic, that virtually any activity can expand to fit the time available. I don't think anyone has mentioned any activity on here - reading, gardening, socialising - which isn't done by women and men, working and not employed. It isn't exactly an 'either/or' situation is it?

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 03/07/2011 13:43

get this - SIL is 30, doesn't work, and doesn't even have children

Al0uiseG · 03/07/2011 13:49

Well as long as she's not being supported by the state I don't see the problem?

strawberryjelly · 03/07/2011 13:50

I can only speak for my neighbour who:

cleans- so her house is spotless and mine isn't.
gardening- as above
shopping
planning & cooking lovely food
laundry & ironing etc all done and put away

and finally- RELAXING BY READING DURING THE DAY/.

sheer luxury.

janey68 · 03/07/2011 13:59

Cleaning and putting laundry away, luxury?? Sounds dull to 'me!

bigTillyMint · 03/07/2011 13:59

One of my friends doesn't work and hasn't got children (has not worked for at least 10 years). She goes travelling alot with her multitude of single / available friends across the globe, and with her DH when he has a hol. Envy

I work 3 days a week and spend the other 2 while the DC are at school doing
a) all the household stuff
b) whatever I like

Great balance Grin

Pagwatch · 03/07/2011 14:09

Janey I have a cleaner twice a week too.

I could get them to do the laundry but I quite like a bit of ironing. I find it relaxing.

So no, not that dull.

Pagwatch · 03/07/2011 14:10

I can see the attraction of part time work -best of both worlds.

fedupofnamechanging · 03/07/2011 14:25

I have 4 DC (3 at school, 1 starting in September) and it takes quite a bit of cleaning/cooking/shopping/laundry etc to keep our house ticking along.

The way I see it as that my day has a different structure to a normal working day. I am very busy in the mornings and afternoons/evenings and have a more leisurely pace during the day, when it's just me and DD at home.

Yes, a WOHM also has tasks to fit in when they get home from work, but this is compensated for by having more money/pension/career progression (hopefully!)

When DD starts school I intend to redecorate the house and finally sort out my garden. I want to learn a language (a foreign one, not English Wink ) and just relax a bit. I don't understand how people can get bored when they can choose how to spend the day.