to slap my teenaged daughter?

[DogsBestFriend]

Excuse me whilst I seethe.

It was 16yo DDs last GCSE this morning at school a couple of villages away. She'd already tried the "School doesn't want us there, says we can't stop there" trick and I'd pointed out that this was bullshit unfortunate and that she would have to wait until 3.30pm to get the school bus home.

So, at 11am she gives me heart palpitations by leaving a "Call me! NOW!" message on 0800 reverse - she's got no credit left for emergencies on her mobile of course. She tells me that she's left school and is walking home (along dangerous A and B roads without pavements). I tell her to get her arse back into school! Madam argues that she doesn't want to be stuck there on her own.

I call the school to confirm that they're happy for her to remain until 3.30pm. Call madam back to say that school suggest the library and use the PCs, you have money, soon it will be lunchtime anyway, it's only 4.5 hours. Nope, she's going to call her father on 0800 reverse (who does sod all and will tell her to piss off). Failing that she's - get this - going to call her friend's Dad, who lives further away than we do and who she knows to be struggling for money, and ask him, as "The two people who should be doing this for me and caring for me won't".

She's right on one of them... but WTF am I supposed to do? Fashion transport for her out of a lawnmower and a few bits of wood?

Her Prom is very much at risk of going ahead without her on Friday, that's for sure. Otherwise, can I slap her please?

:o

If other parents were picking their teenagers up ,I would have maybe asked one of them to give her a lift back and offered petrol money

In my experience it's the strong willed/challenging toddlers/children who go on to be the wilful, difficult teenagers.

Surely a lot of it is personality though? I'm quite glad my DDs are strong willed though, surely it's better than being weak willed?

And I'm sure every teenager goes through a stage of at the very least being challenging and a bit rude towards their parents, it's part of the growing up process. I was worst when I was about 14/15 I think - hormones all over the place. I never felt I had much to rebel against and that my parents (or my mum anyway who would overule my dad!) trusted me and let me do appropriate things for my age. Still I remember being quite horrible and personal in rows at times. My parents don't remember though, they think I was never any trouble.

My mum wouldn't have told me to wait in the school after an exam, it's not something that would have even been discussed though as I'd been getting to and from school on the bus - school or regular bus since I was 11. In fact at 16 I did sometimes walk home after exams, it was about 2 miles down an A road and a long country lane.

Shit LeQueen...don't say that. I have two of the most strong willed children I have ever known and three very easy going, born that way!! So two of mine are going to be nightmare teens? Great!!

YABU, why should she have to be at school when exams are finished? Can she not stay at home by herself?

Actually I think the OP feels guilty and is looking for justification. We all make mistakes....and she possibly regrets that her dd, after her last exam, was stuck at school.

Her dd possibly feels that her mother is dampening her mood, which she is, and ruining a very important day.

OP should count herself lucky that DD didn't head to the nearest pub and get drunk immediately after the exam and not call home at all until turning up at home after midnight likemyfriendsandIdid-- some teenagers do.

Sorry but once they finish their exams they really should be leaving you knew in advance when she was finished why didn't you arrange for her to be collected or arrange for her to get home?

She is 16 she is not a chlid.

And as an aside do you realise the stress children are under when taking exams? Do you realise how bad it is to sit in an exam and struggle, and worry about whether or not you got it right, no fucking wonder she wanted to leave straight away.

To take away her right to go to the prom is nasty.

She is your responsibility take responsibility and when she finishes an exam bear in mind she needs to leave and wants collecting or a safe way home.

You choose to live in the back end of beyond it is not your childs fault.

Also some people just don't have the spare £25 to shell out for a taxi for a stroppy teen diva.

It all gets very confusing by the time a thread gets this long, but I think the OP said she did offer to pay the 25 quid for a taxi, but that meant DD going without a visit to the hairdresser for the prom cos OP couldn't afford both without leaving bills unpaid, and her DD chose the hairdresser as the main priority.

"Actually I think the OP feels guilty and is looking for justification."

Like fuck the OP is, Crapola! :o

There's too much to answer here and besides I'm amazed that the thread is still running. Briefly then, yes to the poster who spoke of a moped, I suggested that the other week (though I shan't be buying it as the poster suggested, DD will have to earn the money over the summer hols). The walk, for the record, has NO grass verge in a large percentage of places. Just a few tufts of grass and then a ditch, road not visable and not terribly busy (hence you can get up some speed there).

Lastly, to AlpinePony, who said "Am also 'mithered' that OP admits she drives like a cock on the same stretch of road. Wither leading by example? And, what happened to this race-car? Poof of smoke?"

I said no such thing. I said, "I CAN drive like that myself" by way of saying that I wasn't starting a war against fast drivers as well as arsey daughters, particularly as some on here know I'm a car-mad, Clarkson-worshipping petrol-head. I have never driven down that stretch of road "like a cock" (though I'd like to know just how a cock does drive :o ). The "race car" I drive occasionally is a Land Rover and belongs to someone who happens to be in Germany on business at the moment so is unable to loan me it, oddly enough. Good try Alpine, but you failed!

Now, far more importantly, because I'm still not taking this half as seriously as some, you'll all be glad to know that DD arrived home from school as scheduled and is in a far better mood now which is just as well for her!

And none of you lot have made me that hot cup of tea! :o

"You choose to live in the back end of beyond it is not your childs fault."

We, too, live in the back of beyond which is why I'm resigned to driving ds all over or paying for taxis or getting him to cycle everywhere as there's no public transport whatsoever except the school bus (which from next year they want £1,000 pa for

Life would be alot easier living in a town with a teenager but I accept that it was our choice to live miles from anywhere so we have to suck up the extra driving/taxi fares.

Well I would make you a but you did not return my wave. So ner.

Fabby, yes, there's a lot of choice for a lone parent on a limited income who has to consider finding accommodation which leads to decent schooling and which has a Landlord who will accept my dogs.

Sorry Pinot! :)

Dammit just realised I'm Evil Twin today.

I was trying to be nice.

YABU not to let her walk (she is 16 FFS) but she should not have spoken to you like that or made yo panic.

I think I said "think about her getting a moped" not suggesting who should buy it I think a summer job would be a great plan...as long as she can get to it

I'm fine thank you Pinot, save for wanting to swap DDs for your kittens. Any chance? :o

And how are you and yours?