to wonder why lesbians go for women that look like men?

[carriedababi]

surely if you fancy women you'd want to go out with a woman that looked like \ woman not a man.
nothing against gay/lesbians at all.

but this seems a bit strange to me

Hester, that makes a lot of sense.

One of my friends WOULD tell you. She wants the world to know and the world to stare at her! She's lovely.... unless men look at her partner and she's been drinking.

Yes the same re 6 foot men and yuk at pigeon chests.

I just don't like the jutting brow, hearty laughter and cauliflower ears.

I have thought the same thing before actually.

All of the gay women that I know of are quite 'manly' looking. I don't personally know of any feminine lesbians and its not completely stereotypical to think this at all. I think its a valid question.

My personal opinion is something changed in the brain development to make someone attracted to the same sex but there is something there that means they still look for qualities that heterosexual people would look for. No sure if I have explained it right but that is what I think.

TP - no, I don't think 'forcing' a look is wrong at all - in the 80's, a lot of gay men looked like Freddy Mercury - I don't think they were all born looking like him - Homosexuals, just like heterosexuals, will dress to attract sexual partners.

Wow! Samantha Fox is gay?

There's a certain irony in the fact that the girl who came to prominence (arf!) as a topless model, feeding male fantasies, is, in fact not into men at all.

Too much male hormone, something changed in the brain development, butch lesbians tending to be dominant in the bedroom... you're all experts here, you don't need me, so I will retire gracefully (and very unbutchly) from the thread at this point

Rugby-playing men do not all look the same. A smallish, wiry body frame is better suited to certain positions in the game, while a largish frame is better suited to other positions.

I think the butch shorthaired woman is a bit of a stereotype. However I know a couple where both women look like this. They got married in trouser suits, minimal make up. But I know another couple where both are feminine, and one is particularly pretty and girly. Doesn't look like a man at all.

I don't think a woman would work out her sexuality, then just decide to 'go butch'. I think it's more likely that she let's go of the feminine style and chooses something that feels more comfortable to her.

Good Lord CrapBag. You should have been at my wedding. DH's kudos amongst his friends went sky high when they realised just how many stunning lesbians there were there.

Crikey - Sam Fox and her friend - I wouldn't look twice at either of them.

I have lots of gay friends,some are manly some are very feminine.
I also know alot of straight woman that are fecking butch and manly,so your argument is bollocks :)

Didn't mean to offend you Hester. My comment of bedroom preferences were based purely on what my butch lesbian best friend has told me.

You don't want to believe all her hype, Shakirasma

No, I'm not offended as such, just feeling a bit drained by the thread suddenly. It's a very odd feeling having loads of people kind of tell you their theories about what you are - as a lesbian I get this a lot, and I should be used to it by now. I've got a pretty thick skin, but I think I've had enough for now so am off to eat cake. But it's been quite a fun thread; thanks, everyone

Well Portia De Rossi doesn't exactly look like a man does she!

No, but Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres are one couple in the public eye that do fit neatly into the 'butch/femme' stereotype.

I'm glad the OP asked her question, otherwise how are we ever to reach equality if we feel we can't ask things?

When I was eighteen I rocked up at uni having never knowingly met a gay person and found myself living in the room next door to a butch lesbian (cropped hair, wore men's clothes etc). We have been friends for over twenty years. She is the godmother to my children and I was matron of honour at her wedding.

In all those years I have probably asked every single daft question about her sexuality and never once did she belittle me.

Only skimmed first page so no doubt I'll be out of date.

Are you saying, OP, that all lesbian couples are two butch looking people? Cos that would be incorrect wouldn't it?

Some lesbians are butch looking. Some are not.

I don't understand why the OP got quite so much stick. It's a perfectly valid, sensible question.

Sure, there are pretty lesbians but some of them DO look like men. Tattoos, shaved heads, combats and vest tops - seriously, some of them are more manly than most men.

Sure, some men are effeminate but in order for a gay man to look as much like a woman as some lesbians look like men, he'd have to be wearing full make up and women's clothes. Not many gay men try to look like women day to day - TVs yes, but not gay men.

So I'm with the OP - how come some perfectly ordinary lesbians hook up with the ugliest, butchest women they can find? Why not just go for a bloke?

Oh, and to head off all the inevitable "I'm a lesbian and I'm feminine and pretty" comments, or the "Just look at Sam Fox" ones, let me be clear - I am NOT saying that lesbians can't be pretty.

"I don't understand why the OP got quite so much stick"

for being such an obvious troll?

The ones I'm referring to are definitely lesbian. And TBH I can't see a straight woman dressing like a butch lesbian - why would she? She'd never find a man, unless she stumbled across a man whose idea of sexy was someone who looked like Bernard Manning.

Oh and can we stop pretending that KD Lang is beautiful? She looks like a man. A fairly good looking man, granted - but a man nonetheless.

Lord all- mighty. Are you actually that dim? And all gay men are like Mr Humphries,right? Idiot.