oh shit oh shit oh shit

[ohmycrap]

oh shit, just come in. bit drunk. did a pregnancy test which was left over from ages ago because i was a few days late didnt really think i was but i fucking am. oh fuck, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

[PinkSchmoo]

Ohmycrap, I'll second the reassess in the morning and try not to freak. Also this was my reaction to pregnancy with DS - continued until he was here and he rocks my world. Hope a clear head helps.

[fastweb]

I've been there with huge wave of "SHIT !!!" when I got the wrong result on a PT.

Once I aborted, the other time resulted in my ten year old son.

In both cases I feel I made the right choice.

I'd give yourself a moment to process, think about how you feel and listen to the range of responses you head and heart come up with. You have choices here, and I think you can, and need, to trust yourself to make the right one.

big fat hug because I remember only too well what that bucket of shockingly icy cold water feels like.

[Andrewofgg]

Only a poor bloody male here, you probably don't want to hear from me, but good luck to you and I hope all turns out well.

[ohmycrap]

so gone out with mild hang over this morning, got another more expensive test plus father's day card for exh, am still pregnant. i dont agree with abortion so thats not a option though i know bf will bring it up and i would almost be tempted, this is not what i want for my self right now, or for our relationship.

[HumanBehaviour]

You did not seriously go out drinking last night?

[ohmycrap]

human behaviour read the bloody op would you.

[chicletteeth]

She didn't know she was pregnant human and it's not even like she was trying so she thought there'd be a chance.
Many people will have drank in the early stages of pregnancy and not known it

[elmofan]

How are you feeling this morning op ?

[HellonHeels]

Stop with the judging. She didn't know she was pregnant!

[chicletteeth]

Don't do anything rash OP.
Don't tell BF yet either if this is what you think he will immediately say to you.
I'm not saying don't tell him ever, but get yourself in the right place first and let it sink in and then move forward from there.

[HumanBehaviour]

Sorry, my mistake!

[fastweb]

i dont agree with abortion so thats not a option though i know bf will bring it up and i would almost be tempted


Temptation can either change or profoundly confirm your position on abortion, either way as long as you don't hurry into a snap decision when still in a state of shock it is unlikely that it will lead you to making the wrong choice for you.

But if temptation is actually a euphemism for being put under pressure, then that is another kettle of fish. In which case I'd advise telling somebody, who is firmly on the side of you doing what is right for you, before telling anybody else. Just so they are in position, up to speed and reachable from the onset.

I've seen that make the world of difference in a few situations where women anticipated being put under significant pressure to satisfy the other potential parents needs rather than their own.

[ohmycrap]

just phoned my friend she will be round in a couple of hours. i know he wont pressure me, but knowing that is what he would want me to do is enough i suppose. i know i cant have an abortion i looked it up last night and just doing that nearly made me cry. i know i could rationalise it to myself but i just dont think i have it in me.

[BooBooGlass]

I don't understand why you wouldnt even consider abortion when by yor own admission another baby isn;t what you want. Do you really want a baby with someone you barely know. Is that best for you and the dc you already have? It seems madness to not even consider it. And fwiw, don't google abortion. It will bring up the worst kind of pro life sites imaginable.

[ohmycrap]

it was just the nhs site boo, because i dont agree with abortion. personal belief.

[BitOfFun]

Agree with BooBoo. It's not a shit situation if you can be sensible and take some responsibility for yourself. You are not a helpless bystander in your own life.

[mummakaz]

How do you know he will want an abortion, has he told you? you won't know until you tell him. Only have one if YOU want one imo

congrats btw

[BooBooGlass]

That's what I mean BoF. If it's not best for all involved, why be a martyr to it? The right to choose exists for a reason. Morally, maybe it is difficult. But practicallty? You're in a 2 bed and in a very new relationship. What will a new baby bring to your life and that of your dc?

[ohmycrap]

happily i dont have to defend my life choices to people i dont know if i dont choose to, but there is a school of thought that having sex and getting pregnant and keeping the child is taking responsibility for you actions. but hey that is a personal belief.

[BooBooGlass]

I think having suitably protected sex is probably more responsible, but there you go.

[MadameBoo]

That's as maybe but it's not particularly helpful now though, is it boobooglass?

[fastweb]

*I don't understand why you wouldnt even consider abortion

Possibly for the same reasons why I never considered adoption when I "failed" P.Test.

In no way, shape or form has it ever struck me as something I could do, or could live with in the long term.

I have no issue with other people choosing it. But heart and soul, I knew it didn't have a place in my range of options.

So I set that one aside from the onset and focused on the options that didn't pull up such a strong and definitive negative reaction.

[BooBooGlass]

No, and I apologise as that was rude actually. But my opinion is based on the people i know who have children as it's the 'responsible' thing to do after an accidental pregnancy when in reality it has proved to be anything but. Their existing children suffer, as does the mother's mental health. But yes, that makes me biased. I just see no reason to continue with something that will negatively impact the rest of the family.

[ohmycrap]

you are absolutely right boo, but obviously that ship has sailed hasn't it other wise we wouldn't be having this conversation, having sex while on antibiotics and the pill is mildly risky but risky none the less. my choice to not have an abortion is not a reflection on anybody else choice to, if they wanted to in my position if that has got the wind up your skirt. thank you for your kind words of wisdom, in my of confusion and fear. but in actual fact a few posts up i was all god what am i going to do, tempted by abortion etc then you and bof come being for want of a better word unpleasant (in fact i have a better word but i wont use it because i am sure you think you are helping) and now i am feeling fairly galvanised in being totally fine and able to cope, so thanks for that.

[BooBooGlass]

I've apologised. But I do gently suggest that you don't make such a hugely life changing decision in one hungover morning. You have a lot to consider.