Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking it's strange not to want me at his house?

295 replies

LoweredBrows · 17/06/2011 12:09

Been with DP 2 years. I moved in with him briefly last year as I had nowhere else to stay (landlord of my house went bankrupt etc) but he moved again and I took over the tenancy of his house. So we do have a lot of history, it's certainly not a new relationship. I helped him move etc and stayed the night at his new house so I know he didn't move in with another woman or anything. Since then though he's been really funny about me going to his house. The only time he's ok with it is if I give him plenty of notice (like a few days notice).
A while ago he invited me around (this is very rare) during the day, he made me lunch etc and I put my shopping in his freezer but I forgot to take it home, not realising until later. I text him saying I'd pop around for my stuff and he was all like "No no, I'll bring it to you". So I told him I was going passed his house anyway so I might as well just pick it up and he made excuse after excuse and in the end insisted that he bring it to me???

Same thing happened again with something else, I said I'd pop in after work and pick it up. He protested, made excuses, acted strange but I pushed it this time because I was starting to wonder what he was up to and in the end he agreed but wanted a specific time in which I'd be there.

He bought me a cake a couple of days ago. Came around to my house but forgot it. I said "No worries, I'm going passed your house tonight on the way to the opticians, I'll pick it up" so he went on with his excuses, trying to get out of it, saying he'd bring it to me, even tried to say he'd drop it in at 5am on his way to work!! I was like "err no, that's just stupid, I'll just pick it up" so reluctantly he agreed but again wanted a specific time and text me an hour before to ask if I was still going and would it be the same time still. I was in a shit mood when he text so I replied saying "actually no, I have to much on tonight, sorry. I'll pick it up tomorow when I leave work". He agreed and seemed relieved. SO I was supposed to be picking it up this afternoon and I've just had a text saying he's leaving work early so will go home, pick up the cake and come back to mine to drop it off!! this is really going out of his way!! why?? I know for a fact he's not married lol, so why the urgency in keeping me away from his house?

OP posts:
SarahStratton · 17/06/2011 18:28

Where is this stakeout? I want in. I will eat guard the Krispys for you.

My money is on another girlfriend. One who does not live with him but probably has a key etc. That would explain why he needs to know exactly where you are/what you are doing.

Either that or his name is Dexter.

BimboNo5 · 17/06/2011 18:29

He doesnt sound very in to you tbh. He might just not want you around, not for any specific reason other than not liking you that much. The biggest hint you can get is moving in with him only for him to move out! The words dead horse and flogging spring to mind!

BerylStreep · 17/06/2011 18:31

v suspicious. Regardless of the reason for his odd behaviour, you need to make room in your life for someone who genuinely wants to be with you, all the time.

Be careful if you turn up unannounced.

BerylStreep · 17/06/2011 18:34

Can someone talk me through the bookmark thing again? I have done the customise, chosen yes to bookmarks, but don't see the thing on the bottom right of messages.

gobbledegoop · 17/06/2011 18:44

hover over the right hand side and it appears.

perfumedlife · 17/06/2011 18:50

And for your info CurrySpice , you spectacularly missed the point I made, that it's hardly a darling partner when you move in with him and he moves out. Nothing to do with living apart, everything to do with her 'partner' putting as much distance as he can between them. Sort of not the same thing as happening to just not live together is it?

The whole 9 pages, despite being great value with the stake out and doughnuts jag, sadly shows just how deeply woman can delude themselves.

LineRunner · 17/06/2011 18:54

The OP ought to be there in a minute.

Pumpernickel10 · 17/06/2011 19:19

I just hope she doesn't get too much of a shock

LineRunner · 17/06/2011 19:22

Do you think she (OP) will be back on tonight?

thenightsky · 17/06/2011 19:24

we still don't actually know how far she lives from his place. It could be a two hour drive, or something.

BuggerAllTheBestNamesAreTaken · 17/06/2011 19:32

I really hope it's not another woman and something like .............. oh I don't know can't think of anything thats not gonna hurt anyone!

Pumpernickel10 · 17/06/2011 19:38

linerunner does it really matter if the op comes back tonight? As she got to come back and give you the lowdown? I feel sorry for the woman genuinally so stop rubbernecking.

TotemPole · 17/06/2011 19:56

How would he explain being unavailable one weekend in two to another girlfriend? Unless she knows about the OP and is ok with that. If that is the case then the other woman would likely be married. I can't see a second available woman putting up with it.

BimboNo5 · 17/06/2011 20:03

I want to know. I must admit its not because of concern but nosiness.

saladfingers · 17/06/2011 20:30

I'm thinking more crossing dressing than gay now.
Have you ever had a rummage through his wardrobe OP?

Chaotica · 17/06/2011 20:31

Totempole - either another woman who knows, or one who thinks that he has to work nights/away/ long shifts every other weekend would do the trick.

I have known blokes not to like people round at their house. But it's very very strange after all this time.

LineRunner · 17/06/2011 20:33

No Pump I mean do you think she'll be back because she left a while ago during which time, and subsequently, lots of people have been having quite a bit of fun about the situation, as I mentioned a while back. I'm wondering if she's upset actually, as I mentioned a while back, because she possibly loves the bloke.

cobbsie · 17/06/2011 20:35

sounds dodge

I'd arrange a surprise visit and turn up in one of the forbidden times with a lovely pressie like a bottle of wine and box of choc on the made up excuse of celebrating something t6hat couldnt wait...then need the loo desperately due to traffic blahdy blah :)

Pumpernickel10 · 17/06/2011 20:37

I would be upset if I was her but sadly shes let this go on and on. His behaviour should have been nipped in the bud ages ago. I thinks he's hiding something and their relationship sounds rather odd.

thenightsky · 17/06/2011 20:50

See now, I've had exes like this.

RollingInTheAisles · 17/06/2011 20:54

Have you looked him up on directory enquiries or googled his name to see if he shows up on the electoral roll for the house. Count me in for the surveillance, I'll bring Percy Pigs and Tangfastics.

Embarrassing but did anyone used to watch Sybil when her and her friend spied on Dr Dick?

LittleBlueBoat · 17/06/2011 20:58

Thanks JLF Smile

Can you pm me the name of the takeway? I think i will take DH for Fathers day Grin

leftblank · 17/06/2011 20:59

Yes I vaguely recall! I used to have an obsession with Cybill Shepherd when I was younger.

RollingInTheAisles · 17/06/2011 21:01

Classes TV :)

marriednotdead · 17/06/2011 21:02

Hope it's all ok OP... as nosey lurker marks place