Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking it's strange not to want me at his house?

295 replies

LoweredBrows · 17/06/2011 12:09

Been with DP 2 years. I moved in with him briefly last year as I had nowhere else to stay (landlord of my house went bankrupt etc) but he moved again and I took over the tenancy of his house. So we do have a lot of history, it's certainly not a new relationship. I helped him move etc and stayed the night at his new house so I know he didn't move in with another woman or anything. Since then though he's been really funny about me going to his house. The only time he's ok with it is if I give him plenty of notice (like a few days notice).
A while ago he invited me around (this is very rare) during the day, he made me lunch etc and I put my shopping in his freezer but I forgot to take it home, not realising until later. I text him saying I'd pop around for my stuff and he was all like "No no, I'll bring it to you". So I told him I was going passed his house anyway so I might as well just pick it up and he made excuse after excuse and in the end insisted that he bring it to me???

Same thing happened again with something else, I said I'd pop in after work and pick it up. He protested, made excuses, acted strange but I pushed it this time because I was starting to wonder what he was up to and in the end he agreed but wanted a specific time in which I'd be there.

He bought me a cake a couple of days ago. Came around to my house but forgot it. I said "No worries, I'm going passed your house tonight on the way to the opticians, I'll pick it up" so he went on with his excuses, trying to get out of it, saying he'd bring it to me, even tried to say he'd drop it in at 5am on his way to work!! I was like "err no, that's just stupid, I'll just pick it up" so reluctantly he agreed but again wanted a specific time and text me an hour before to ask if I was still going and would it be the same time still. I was in a shit mood when he text so I replied saying "actually no, I have to much on tonight, sorry. I'll pick it up tomorow when I leave work". He agreed and seemed relieved. SO I was supposed to be picking it up this afternoon and I've just had a text saying he's leaving work early so will go home, pick up the cake and come back to mine to drop it off!! this is really going out of his way!! why?? I know for a fact he's not married lol, so why the urgency in keeping me away from his house?

OP posts:
MoonGirl1981 · 19/06/2011 15:27

I had a friend like this; wouldn't let people into his house, although he used to but gradually cxhanged!!

Turned out he'd become an alcoholic who lived in utter squalour. Special Brew cans everwhere, piss on the mattress (no sheets) and dirty washing piled everywhere.

I reckon he's just really untidy and needs time to clear up before you come round!!

maras2 · 19/06/2011 16:06

Any sign of OP?

CrapolaDeVille · 19/06/2011 17:31

Come on OP.

LoweredBrows · 19/06/2011 17:49

Thanks for all the advice and love the stake-out plans Grin well I didn't go around to his house that night, I just couldn't do it but I did do the avon book thing that someone suggested. My friend knocked on his door, he answered and said he wasn't interested. She asked if he had a girlfriend or wife that would be interested - he said he had a girlfriend that lived down (my street) but he doubted I would be interested. She had a peek at the house behind him, said it was quiet, TV was on, there were chocolate wrappers on the sofa and a pile of crap on the stairs.

Anyway he came here as planned yesterday. Actually I sent him a text saying I was coming to pick him up to save him the drive, said I was almost at his street so he couldn't back out of it. When I got to his house I parked a bit away so he couldn't see me approaching from the kitchen window. Then I practically ran up the garden path and knocked on the door and threw myself at him in a rather ridiculous way so that he had no choice but to back into the house and let me in Grin god I sound like such a nutcase. The house was a mess, pile of crap still on the stairs and big maltesers packet on the sofa. Nothing really, really bad though, certainly not bad enough to prevent anyone going in.

So long story short, we went out saturday night, he stayed here until this morning and then said he had to leave earlier than usual with it being father's day because he was going to see his dad. I said "cool! can I come??" he laughed and said "yeah, if you want!" I called him on his bluff, started getting my shoes on etc, he didn't seem bothered but I backed out last minute because I really didn't want to spend my afternoon there!!

So what now? What do you reckon? I'm also going to pick him up in morning on my way to shop as he said he'd like to come with me.

OP posts:
turdass · 19/06/2011 17:52

Wow! Thanks for the update! Doesn't sound too sinister really does it? Maybe one more totally unplanned visit just to be sure?

Isitreally · 19/06/2011 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoweredBrows · 19/06/2011 18:00

lol at malteser addict - to be fair he does know what a chocoholic I am so perhaps that is true!

OP posts:
akaemmafrost · 19/06/2011 18:18

at you throwing yourself at him to get into the house.

MoonGirl1981 · 19/06/2011 18:29

Told you!!

Embarrassed by his untidy house!!

Is cute really; at least you know he cares enough to tidy up when you go round!

:)

LittleBlueBoat · 19/06/2011 18:40

Thanks for the update Smile

Glad all is ok.

Good luck for the future

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 18:40

Thanks lowered for getting back to us, at least there seems to be nothing sinister going on Grin. You could communicate better in person not via FB

scruffybird · 19/06/2011 18:56

I am a bit like this with my house. I'm fine with the children having friends back but seldom invite people round and feel uncomfortable when they do.
We have a really small narrow downstairs, which quickly feels cramped and am embarassed of the size of our house. So if anyone comes round with something for me or to drop a child off, I keep an ear out and make sure I meet them on the doorstep. Perhaps he's like me?

WhereYouLeftIt · 19/06/2011 19:25

bump.

AnyFucker · 19/06/2011 19:27

thanks for update

do you feel better about things now ?

never mind what we think

chocolateshoes · 19/06/2011 20:35

Thanks for update OP and am glad for you that you didn't discover anything horrible.

QueeferSutherland · 19/06/2011 21:41

Awww, good stuff.

Jellykat · 19/06/2011 22:11

Phew! Sounds okay Lowered - love the 'ran up the path' and 'barged in' bits.. Maybe just don't take any excuses from now on?!
If you want to go around to his, just go Smile

LorettaMasonPotts · 19/06/2011 22:16

Whew, what a relief but I would have enjoyed a stakeout with doughnuts.

Actually he sounds a bit like my DS who needs loads of notice to do anything. He hates things sprung upon him at the last minute (at least a week's notice to go anywhere different - have visitors, etc).

Glad you're ok OP.

Lotkinsgonecurly · 19/06/2011 22:23

Not read the whole thing but is he into cross dressing. When you go round there would he be dressed as Wanda rather than Wayne? Grin

CrapolaDeVille · 20/06/2011 08:05

If you're satisfied it's fine!!

But I would talk to him about it, it is a rather large elephant in the room.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page