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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to back out of surgery tomorrow just because I am scared?!

117 replies

hellospoon · 16/06/2011 20:20

So i am having a tonsillectomy (sp?) tomorrow as i get tonsillitas (sp?) once a month and its getting stupid...

Not sure why i am scared (probably because i googled it ) I have had lots of surgery before but its all been emergency.. For some reason i have in my head i am going to die on the table and never see DD again!

Any words of wisdom? A kick up the arse? a google ban

OP posts:

Imnotaslimjim · 16/06/2011 20:22

Leave dr Google out of it! They only ever give scare stories. Please do go ahead with it, it will change your life. Yes its scary, but it will be over before you know it. and do follow the care plan - my friend refused to eat afterward because it was too sore, and ended up nearly mute :(

Northernlurker · 16/06/2011 20:25

Nearly everybody thinks they will die on the table. Hardly anybody does. Apart from anything else it makes a lot of paperwork

Seriously though - your dd needs a well mummy, not a mummy laid low by horrid bugs. Also the infections you are getting are a risk to your longterm health - you don't want to back out of the surgery but then be wiped out by an especially nasty bug do you?

Come on. Grit your teeth and show up and be sure to tell the doctors that you think you're going to die and they will give you something lovely and fuzzy to take the edge off

Abelia · 16/06/2011 20:25

You will be fine! Don't back out, you won't believe the difference having your tonsils out will make to your health and your life in general.

I had two lots of planned surgery within 4 weeks (tonsils and something else, ) both times just as I went into the pre-op bit for the anaesthetic I got very panicky inside thinking I wouldn't come back.

It clearly showed on my face as the drs, nurses and the anaesthetists both times were utterly lovely, spontaneously reassured me that they would look after me and all would be fine, and it was.

defineme · 16/06/2011 20:26

You're an adult.
You've done worse.
It'll be over before you know it.
Pull yourself together

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 16/06/2011 20:26

Oh god yes, back away from google!

I've had everything from leprosy to a twisted testicle

What would it be like if you cancelled the operation and had tonsilitis every month for the rest of your life? Imagine that for a moment. Just take a moment to think of how you're suffering with it. Now imagine never having that pain again.

I had my tonsils out when I was a kid. No big deal. Honestly, it's fine.

sunshineatlast · 16/06/2011 20:26

YANBU to be scared but if you back out it will still have to happen at some point right?

If you go it will all be over this time tomorrow and you will get to eat lots of ice cream.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 16/06/2011 20:27

I think I would worry too, but mainly about the anaesthetic. if you have had anaesthetics before and been fine, that's a huge lot less to worry about. i imagine the op itself will be pretty routine.

I knwo how you feel, though, as my dd has recurrent tonsillitis and tonsillectomy could be on the cards. I am scared of her having a GA, in case she is one of those people who suffers some kind of reaction- she has never had one before (obviously)

I think though you should go through with it- it sounds like the tonsillitis (which I've had once, and thought I was dying!) is making your life pretty miserable, so get it done and over with- you'll only be back in the same position (but further down the waiting list!) in a few months!!

MizzyFizzy · 16/06/2011 20:27

I had this done when I was 22....Errr - a long time ago.

Just eat what they give you afterwards and keep eating little bits when you get home and you will be fine...the eating keeps the throat clear of yukky bacteria.

I haven't had any sore throats since it was done...bliddy fab' operation as far as I'm concerned...as you I had tonsillitis once a month for years. No more now though.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 16/06/2011 20:28

Being blunt - you will waste NHS money by cancelling, you will have taken the place of someone else who may really be desperate for that surgery and also ..err.... you'll be fine! :)

mosschops30 · 16/06/2011 20:28

I used to be ananaesthetic nurse, i never saw anyone die on the table and i saw some really complicated and long ops.
You will be fine, anaesthetic is very safe and your aneasthetist willbe monitoring you every second, dont worry, enjoy the drugs

Abelia · 16/06/2011 20:30

not ice cream! (sorry) You will need to eat toast, crisps, stuff that's hard to swallow.

plan for the pain to be bad in about 5-7 days' time and to have someone to help out then, that was in all honesty the worst bit and when I really needed someone on hand to stop ds pestering me. Vague memory now though so don't worry! (again!)

DaisySteiner · 16/06/2011 20:31

You'll be fine. Everyone is nervous before an operation and those who say they aren't are lying You're about 500 times more likely to die in a car crash than from an anaesthetic if that's any reassurance?!

YellowDinosaur · 16/06/2011 20:31

I am a surgeon and have been for about 14 years.

I have never ever seen anyone die on the table.

You will be fine, indeed much better after your op. If on the other hand you fail to turn up your place on the waiting list will almost certainly be scratched (as you have taken a place that someone else could have used and wasted resources in a cash strapped nhs) so will have to go through all the preassessment again. Which will only make you more anxious next time.

I'd be anxious too honestly. Its totally appropriate. But the chances of anything more than a minor complication are incredibly rare.

Good luck

Original poster

hellospoon · 16/06/2011 20:32

Thanks for the replies! lord i am totally shitting myself if i am honest... Iv had loads of surgery.. i had a c-section with DD so why i am bothered about this i do not know!!

I think its the scabs? and not being able to talk/eat...

imnotaslimjim MUTE?! How? OMG! [scared]

abeila (sorry if spelt wrong can't be bothered to scroll back up)

Did you have them out as an adult? what was the recovery like?

OP posts:

thefirstMrsDeVere · 16/06/2011 20:33

hellospoon

You have to have it done. If you dont do it tommorow you will still get sick and have to go through all this worry again when you are rebooked for this inevitable operation.

So do it. Take a good deep breath and just do it.

I used to tell DD - I know you dont want to, I know you are scared but it HAS to be done so there is no point in thinking othewise.

Which may sound a bit mean but it gave her permission to give up hoping she wouldnt have to IYSWIM.

You will be fine and then spared the misery of tonsillitis every few weeks.

mummyosaurus · 16/06/2011 20:34

I'm having an operation next wednesday, I'm very nervous too (already). But you've got to go ahead. Just think, this time tomorrow it will all be behind you.

Good luck.

Original poster

hellospoon · 16/06/2011 20:42

i have read it gets quite bad after about 5 days! urgh..

I have also read that if you are squeemish (sp?) that you shouldnt look in the throat after the surgery as it is like 2 black holes....

I am very squeemish and easily freaked out by my own skin... What have i let myself in for?!

OP posts:

Abelia · 16/06/2011 20:42

Hi again, yes had them out as an adult, age 33 after years and years of constant sore throats and colds. An abcess on my tonsils was the last straw.

Recovery. The day after I was as bright as you like, consultant couldn't believe how well I was. Eating and drinking no problem. Pain kicked in slowly and peaked around 5-7 days, I was much better by 10 days and I was 100% well 14 days after.

I will be honest, the pain at 5-7 days was horrid, but was totally manageable with pain relief though I went a bit mad with the codeine and ended up v constipated (TMI?!) which was almost worse. ds was only 2 at the time and I really needed him just removing from being near me when the pain peaked as the relief wore off or I had to eat, but literally that was 2 or 3 times over those 2 days.

It is no exaggeration to say that this has transformed my life. I have probably had one bad cold since, and no sore throats!

Original poster

hellospoon · 16/06/2011 20:46

Thanks for replying! Was you able to look after your ds ok? My DD is 15 months and i will have to look after her next week as DP and DM are both at work.

If it is at its worst 5-7 days atleast that takes me to next weekend when i will have someone to look after her!

Was you able to talk? was it really sore? what about the scabs?

Sorry loads of questions! i am 23 so hopefully my body will heal quickly, my c-section scar took forever to heal though so slightly worried about that!

OP posts:

CoffeeDodger · 16/06/2011 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hugglymugly · 16/06/2011 21:30

You will be fine. Pre-op anxiety is about as normal as it gets. Tonsillectomies are quick and the level of anaesthetic is quite light in comparison with what you've already gone through successfully (after all, they're not going to be incising muscle and so on).

By the sounds of it, you do really need to get rid of those tonsils. Tonsils are good as sentinels, but once they've become chronically infected they're worse than useless.

Everyone involved in your care will have loads of experience of both the op and the after-care, so just follow their advice.

Come back tomorrow and tell us how it went.

Then come back in a few weeks time and tell us how much better you feel.

microserf · 16/06/2011 21:36

i had one of these at age 18. it was fine, and the other posters are serious about the ice cream and jelly, you definitely need lovely cold sweet food.

i had chronic tonsillitis, and by the time they removed my tonsils after years of repeat infections they were (i quote) "little bags of pus poisoning your entire system".

i have felt soooo much better since i had it done. YANBU to be nervous. i wrote my will and letters to my kids before my ELCS. dh thought i was nuts.

youarekidding · 16/06/2011 21:38

My Dsis had hers out at 23. She said it was the best thin she ever agreed too. It was sore for a few weeks but she said no more than permanent tonsilitis.

Original poster

hellospoon · 16/06/2011 22:05

Off to bed to dwell sleep now.

Will start a new thread after the op tomorrow night wish me luck!

OP posts:

trumpton · 16/06/2011 22:11

good luck. and thumbs up. You will feel so much better.

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