In thinking he should call my lecturer and tell them what he did?

[Lorita]

During an argument DP came over my assignment. I could have re-printed it but it was actually on the tutor mark paper which had been signed. There is no way I can hand it in like that and it needs to be in for friday. He has apologised but this doesn't solve my problem. I have said I will forgive him if he sorts it out for me. He says he can't but he doesn't even seem willing to try.

Maybe the assignment was something that stimulated his sexual desire...maybe an erotic story?

Maybe the argument was over the misplacement of an apostrophe

Pmsl though!

maybe the OP's partner wasn't wanking. Perhaps they were having a furious argument while she was indulging him? Oh the mental image............

DS is asleep in my arms and I'm surprised he hasn't woken the amount I've been shaking with laughter! What the actual fuck OP?!

Maybe he was pre-empting the make-up sex and got a bit carried away?

wha?

i've written many essays in my time and not a single one has made me feel orgasmic.

-I'M SO ANGRY WITH YOU!
-YEAH? WELL I'M ANGRY WITH YOU!
-NOT AS ANGRY AS ME! Wait.. what are you doing?
-Nothing..
-That's not nothing, put your cock away..

• NO! I'M SO ANGRY I'M WANKING! YEAH!

-Oh ok FINE, carry on.. wait.. is that my assignment? But.. no.. stop... -AHHH YEAHHHHhhh , that shows YOU!

Did it go something like that?

Bloody good essay if your DH thought it was jizz-worthy, in which case your lecturer won't notice the missing mark sheet until they get to the end and need to clean themselves up

I tell you the OP only posts on Tuesdays. Poor girl. Her dp is quite clearly a loon. He told folks her name is Angie when it is Dorkus (yes spelt like that). So we need to help her out of that one too.

Leave the bastard!!!

bollocks, OP. I am prepared to reserve judgment somewhat, but at the moment I don't believe you....

My son and his friend have just had the following conversation "Is your mum alright?" Son: "Yes, sometimes she goes a bit weird and sits in the other room on her own giggling like a mad person".

Thanks OP, and amusing posters who responded, not had such a good giggle in ages.

Still laughing at "I'm so angry I have to wank"

JanMorrow....

-I'M SO ANGRY WITH YOU!
-YEAH? WELL I'M ANGRY WITH YOU!
-NOT AS ANGRY AS ME! Wait.. what are you doing?
-Nothing..
-That's not nothing, put your cock away..

• NO! I'M SO ANGRY I'M WANKING! YEAH!

-Oh ok FINE, carry on.. wait.. is that my assignment? But.. no.. stop... -AHHH YEAHHHHhhh , that shows YOU!

I was actually crying with laughter reading that.

@ janmorrow

hilarious thread!!

Ha! That set me off again , ILoveYouToo! (set me off GIGGLING, I should clarify, given the nature of the thread...)

oh right, I've read OP's other thread

My lie detector is bleeping at full power...

Holy shit . . .

Bleep bleep bleep!

Could you blame the dog? The dog gets aroused when its owners argue?

This is absolutely brilliant. I would be absolutely thrilling to have an imagination like the OP's. Just coming up with the notion of vexation masturbation must have been so satisfying.

Reading this on train surrounded by commuters and trying not to snort too loudly. Love it!

Not sure what's funnier, the op or the ones who have taken this seriously!

Classic!! hahahaha love it!

I am a bit nervous - I have an essay due in and me and OH have been arguing for a couple of days now...

TFMDV

I've just read this whole thread again, and I think it's even funnier the second time; I was actually sobbing with laughter.

"Does he often come on things when he's angry?"
"Those are some serious anger issues - hope it doesn't happen when he's out and about, could be far more embarrassing."
"I'd have thought taking his dick out and heading towards your essay would have been a giveaway. Unless he ejaculates extremely quickly - in which case, poor you."
"OP's essay title: A critique of gender relationships in the plays of John Osborne: Look! Wank in Anger!

How do you nominate a thread for the classics section?