I have a 2.5 yr old son who is a wee monkey who is in a habit of saying no, then stepping forward to do what he just said he wouldn't.
When he is on the loo or wants to be naughty he says 'you go find granny/sister or daddy'
Sis tries to assert her authority over my children everytime she sees them, has done the same with DB girls too. To the point of ruining the enjoyment of dinner for them but being either unaware or unconcerned.
On Sunday she decided that my DS ought to tidy up the CDs that he scatters around Granny's music room everytime we go there to play (we normally tidy up when we leave)
She decided to tell him to do it just because she wanted him to. To which he replied No.
So she told him again, same response, so she tried threatening tones, he told her no, go find granny.
She then gives up realising that it was a pointless battle of wills she was only going to lose and anyway, was it that important? Not really.
So she comes through to me, with her smile, to tell me about what he had done (refusing to do as he was told) and that he had been cheeky to her.
She said that she would have had him on the naughty step for that and that his cheekiness would just not be accepted in her house.
I then end up in an hour long discussion with her over discipline styles during which she tells me she would have a stronger hand, that I have always been soft on my boy (much harder on my older girl), that if she had him for a week she would have him sorted out and that he will get bad reports in school for his cheek.
I said I preferred to think of his cheeky nature as a developing personality that I believe will be pleasant not rude.
And that, when she has children, she will not be saying what she is now and that if she does try to have a firmer hand, her children will be frightened to move for fear of a row. No one could keep up the level of intensity that she intends to have.
My boy will do as he is told (for the most part), he is not rude to strangers and if he is, come on he is 2!
If he doesn't you can normally do the 1, do that, 2 do that 3.... and he will do that for fear of the naughty step which I use regularly. As regularly as I feel in necessary.
Yes I probably am softer on him, but he is a different boy who would scream for hours if he felt inclined. There is only so far you can push it before he ends up spending all day on the step. So I pick my fights.
Arg, see, I am defending myself already!
AIBU?
To be annoyed by my sisters talk of sorting out my sons behaviour?
twinklingfairy · 14/06/2011 13:21
Madlizzy, granny is ok with it, it is kind off his cd collection. Ones that she leaves in a basket that he van play with. If he goes near the ones in the living room we all pounce, quite funny really cos he does try every now and again. Seems to have a thing for the eurythmics?
I know I should just ignore her and I did such a good job of sitting there letting it wash over me.
Mum and I say we will save these comments for when she has her own and then gurgle at her when it all goes wrong.
I know I was smug childless but I didn't go to the extent of saying so many mean things, albeit I don't think it occurred to her that it was.
But she is dissin' me and my son!!
And I feel sorry for her that she will miss so much by being so strict on herself as well as the child.
I regret not co sleeping with DD, not carrying her as much as I could have.
So I co slept with DS and carried him a lot. But then, he was in a bad way for about the first 3 months of his life and then became incredibly clingy whilst DD was not.
So he had a different start and is a different child.
I don't think you can compare the way I have disciplined my easy going girl to the way I do/don't my more determined and characterful boy.
She and her DH have been judging me since DS was 6months, I know it I have seen it, they are not subtle and not afraid to say, well, I wouldn't have picked him up.
I have walked in on discussions between them and my mum which they were unaware that I caught the gist of.
She is just such a fool to herself but I just get so sick of teh judgment.
TBH I avoid her mostly.
At family meals I try not to sit her with my DD she becomes subdued.
Last time I could see sis was put out cos I said, No, I am sitting opposite my DD, you sit over there.
She was all ready to show her disciplinary skills. The dinner table is her favourite place for it.
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