To be furious that a male nursery worker took DD to the toilet today

[heyhoplaydough]

I have always felt that it is inappropriate for male members of staff to change babies nappies or take young children to the toilet without a female chaperone. As a paediatric nurse I know that it is common policy for male doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals to have a female chaperone present when examining or carrying out treatments on children, if their parents are not present. Adult female patients are also given female chaperones during examinations where they are undressed. This is to protect their dignity and to spare embarrassment on both sides.

Why are these basic measures not in place in childcare settings?

On joining this specific nursery, I was assured that only female members of staff change nappies or take children to the toilet. I explicitly wrote in my DD's file, that she is only to be changed or taken to the toilet by female members of staff. Each time she has moved up to a new room within the nursery I have explicitly told her key carers the same.

I regularly ask my DD whether she went to the toilet and who took her, along with other questions about her day, like who she played with, what activities she did, what she had for lunch etc. Today she told me that the only male member nursery nurse took her to the toilet, without any other staff. She also said that she wiped herself and pulled her own knickers up, and does not seem at all upset, so I am confident that nothing untoward happened. However, I feel this was entirely inappropriate, and there were several female members of staff available to take DD to the toilet instead. I am absolutely furious that my wishes as her parent were not followed. Am I being unreasonable?

Those poor boys, having Crap as a mother with all her paranoid issues and tremendous stupidity.

Your welcome Crapola (not sure what you're thanking me for, they're nothing to do with me).

I will repeat my earlier thread. At what age do your 3 sons change from being innocents who must be protect to being a potential paedophile - cos you know what with the statistics and all

This thread is just one more nail in the coffin of men wanting to have anything to do with looking after children.

There is no point - as there will always be paranoid idiots like the OP.

For this reason I never speak to or interact with children except in the presence of their parent or a teacher.

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie ,dd1 is currently sat nekkid talking to DH (who she is not related to ). She is almost 8.

Geek, same with my DS, I suspect.

primal you are being ridiculous. thsi isn' about preparing a child for being dealt with by men!! this is very simple. shall i type slowly?

a child needs the toilet, a member of staff accompanies them, child pees, wipes self and washes hands. that is it!! it doesn't matter that it is a man or a woman. it matters that teh child is assisted when necessary!! how do you not get that?

What do you mean worked out who I am. I can't possibly know you in RL, I'm pretty sure that none of my friends share your weird and distorted views.

I've come across you before on Mumsnet and thought you had strange views then but put it down to us just not agreeing on some topics, however I simply can't ignore what you've said in this thread.

Lol peanut ds thinks most things are a race. He likes to barge in on DH when he needs to pee and try and race him.

Boys and toilets. Sheesh

DooinMeCleanin - thank God it's not just me. She sometimes sits on his knee as well. Oh and she sat up til 11pm last night waiting up for him.

A 10 year old starting her peiod is so completly different to a nursery age child needing the loo.

What if the child needs assistance with wiping? - most do at that age.

"at 3, girls are starting to become self conscious of their body and I believe their female dignity should be respected"

What a crock of shit. If a 3 year old girl is self conscious about her body then its because her adult carers have made her like that. The only thing you will be doing to your daughter is to teach her to be as paranoid and as nutty as you clearly are, 50% of the worlds population is male you know.

It pisses me off big time - my DH has worked as a care, support worker his entire life - he is currently a SAHD while I work and looks after our DCs. He would love to train as a childcare worker - and he would make a fantastic worker, all the local kids who are DCs friends adore him. He even toyed with being a childminder - but wont because of attitudes like yours OP and the few random bigoted idiots who support your views. Its not fair - why should he and potential kids miss out.

so the adult assists them. no issue with that ata ll. why would i? teh child needs help so they get it!!

I feel very sorry for the male worker at the OP's nursery. And also a little impressed that despite knowing there is this much venom when it comes to males in "traditionally female" roles, he is still prepared to do it.

As women, we spend a lot of time fighting for equal rights to men, there are more female police officers, more female doctors etc etc. It's sad to think that while we're happy to fight for equality for women, we're quick to ensure men are not equal in certain types of roles. It reminds me of the Friends epiosde where Ross and Rachel get a male nanny:

Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!
Rachel: So what? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Ross: Because, it's weird!
Rachel: Why?
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Rachel: Yes?
Ross: King?

I think its sad that there is a world where we'll tell our daughters they can be anything they want, but tell our sons they can't do certain jobs because people will think they are odd, on a par with the child-catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

When I was at primary school in the late 80's / early 90's, throughout my junior schooling, I had two male teachers and two female teachers. The head was a male, it was an equal split of the sexes. DD is in school now in there is one male teacher in her entire school; every other teacher, teaching assistant etc is female. I find it a bit sad.

My DD is nearly six, she has no issues with males helping her out when she needs them to.

With regards to the OP and the comments about sparing patients dignity by having a same sex person in the room, well, I am a firm believer when it comes to certain medical issues, you leave your dignity at the door. Whether they are male or female, these people are doctors who see the human body in a medical way. I would have no problems with a male midwife, male nurse etc. DH is pretty much of the same opinion and has no issues with a female doctor.

Out of interest... for those still reading... if anybody has an issue with a male worker taking your female child to the toilet etc, do you have an issue with a gay female taking them to the loo?

I don't mean in RL you know exactly what I mean, I am feeling a bit sorry for you now it is a very strange way to spend so much of your life

I am going to bed now as we have to be up early tomorrow.

ROFLE - this just gets better.

If a child needs help with wiping their bum then I would hope whoever is with them at the time will wipe their bum.

Don;t get me wrong the guy who's just pleaded guilty to raping a toddler deserves to be left in a room alone with the parents, however it was him as a person not his gender that was the abuser.

primal "I'm asking you what purpose it serves having a male deal with very young children in this way?"

Do you really not get it? If so you should be pitied actually. Its not about "preparing" a child for anything - a worker - regardless of gender should be able to help a child with their toilet needs. Really - what has gender got to do with it because I dont see it so far from your posts what the big deal is for you??

Primal, don't be so daft.
I can honestly state that I have never changed a female baby's nappy. Never. I have 3 younger brothers, 2 sons, 2 nephews and although I have 2 nieces they live miles away so I rarely see them.
I honestly would be worried about changing a girl's nappy, I realise I am female but I am use to appendages and lifting them and the like.

A childcare professional, male or female would have more clue than me.

For god's sake, Primal. If you're so paranoid about young children and toilets, why on earth are you allowing them into any childcare environment? Wipe your own DCs bottoms yourself!

Pathetic.

"What if the child needs assistance with wiping? - most do at that age."

Oh my fucking word... My MALE friend changed DS's nappy once... I must go and phone the police, because, OBVIOUSLY, he interfered with DS... Because, you know... All men involved in the care of children are paedophiles. I might just forward this thread to my DB, male friend's and BF's boyfriend, ALL of whom have been involved in helping care for DS at some point or another, and some even taken him to the toilet/potty/changed his nappy.

That's a life time on the sex offenders register for them.

beesimo...your posts are wierd!

beesimo's post are daft

Do us all a favour and go away beesimo.

Don't feel sorry for me, my life is fantastic, I have a great husband who adores me, my girls are amazing, I have the best friends I could ask for.

However I do pity you and am amazed at how you manage to get through each day.

Have a good sleep.

Beesimo is obviously a cartoon character. A poorly constructed, one dimensional one, but obviously a fictional character. Think Ma Larkin.

Poor Crap has got herself into a big girls row and is not making a very good job of constructing a coherent argument. Bless.

I'd like to see more men in primary care too - ( most don't enter because of the crap pay and limited promotion, nothing to do with paranoid parents )
Just don't take children to the toilet alone - it's not a lot to ask.