To be furious that a male nursery worker took DD to the toilet today

[heyhoplaydough]

I have always felt that it is inappropriate for male members of staff to change babies nappies or take young children to the toilet without a female chaperone. As a paediatric nurse I know that it is common policy for male doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals to have a female chaperone present when examining or carrying out treatments on children, if their parents are not present. Adult female patients are also given female chaperones during examinations where they are undressed. This is to protect their dignity and to spare embarrassment on both sides.

Why are these basic measures not in place in childcare settings?

On joining this specific nursery, I was assured that only female members of staff change nappies or take children to the toilet. I explicitly wrote in my DD's file, that she is only to be changed or taken to the toilet by female members of staff. Each time she has moved up to a new room within the nursery I have explicitly told her key carers the same.

I regularly ask my DD whether she went to the toilet and who took her, along with other questions about her day, like who she played with, what activities she did, what she had for lunch etc. Today she told me that the only male member nursery nurse took her to the toilet, without any other staff. She also said that she wiped herself and pulled her own knickers up, and does not seem at all upset, so I am confident that nothing untoward happened. However, I feel this was entirely inappropriate, and there were several female members of staff available to take DD to the toilet instead. I am absolutely furious that my wishes as her parent were not followed. Am I being unreasonable?

Three year old. Dignity. Hmmmm.

Is that like Fun and Run or Vegan and Bacon?

LOL Soupy - thanks PSCMUM - not doing to well at steping away from the thread though am I!

Am just so...... I don't know whether to laugh, cry or scream at some (luckily not the majority) of these views.

Thank god I have girls so will never have to see my son turned into a monster

love it, SoupDragon

Who said I'm teaching my children to be afraid of men? Typical MN, you post a couple of things and people paint a very detailed picture of things they know nothing about.

I have to go nad pick DS1 up from Scouts where [whispered shock] he has been in the sole care of men [horror]

You did.

I'm asking you what purpose it serves having a male deal with very young children in this way? Because it doesn't happen when they get to primary school - so what are you preparing them for exactly?
I'm not saying men shouldn't be nursery workers - of course they should, but they should not be taking children to toilet alone.

If they're going to the toilet themselves, no nursery worker in their right mind is going to be 'watching' them - they'll probably be supervising other children who are washing their hands, going back to the room, coming out to the toilets etc.

As far as I can work out they have separate toilets at school because boys will be boys and quite often forget to put the seat up and then don't deal with the resultant problem - not nice for a girl to sit on.... They're usually in the same room though. Or at least they are in my child's primary school.

Primal I guess that your dd would not have been happy for any one other than yourself supervising her going to the toilet. I don't actually think that children conciously divide people into 'scary males' and 'friendly females' when they see them everyday when they're that age.

That was me Crapola. Of course thats the picture I and others have of you, because that is the picture you have painted of yourself.

you said they were wary of men and self concious. Where else would they learn that if you are sole carer?

what purpose does it serve to have a woman do it primal?

I haven't read the wole thread, crapola, but even if you haven't said it in such terms, you've implied it.

FWIW, I do think you're living up to the first four letters of your name

Needanewname.....I have three sons, thanks.

And we are talking about very young children in nursery, aren't we? Not those who appreciate boundaries or personal space.

Fuck it, if some of you would rather trust the world and his dog than safeguard their children fair enough. Let's just cross our fingers.

'I'm asking you what purpose it serves having a male deal with very young children in this way? ' - the same purpose it serves when a women deals with very young children in this way, they get to relieve their bladder/bowels or get a clean, dry nappy

Primal - what on earth is the difference between a male nursery nurse taking a girl charge for a nappy change or to the toilet compared with a female nursery nurse taking one of the boys?

I can't believe that people are so sexist.

OK so lets say that men are banned from taking children to the loo.

How would you feel if your child had an accident at school/nursery, because all the female members of staf were doing something that they couldn't stop and there was no one there to escort your child to the loo? I thnk that is far worse for a child.

We had several male teachers in the primary school I attended, Primal. I'm niot sure what you're implying...

My ds would welcome a male nursery worker taking him to the toilet. He'd try to 'race' him. A literal pissing contest.

My 9 year old DD still isn't that body conscious. She suffers from excema and if she's having a flare up she will wander about with no top on, dressed in just her pants after I've done her creams. She finds it more comfortable than clothes sticking to her. DP is sometimes here at the time and he is a Man and not her father. Should I be concerned? Not bloody likely.

Crapola, yours is a very scarey world and i am glad I do not live there.

needanewname

Thanks for last post I've just worked out who you are, getting a bit pathetic and desperate now?

Iam going to bed now simply can't be bothered with ya.

Right so not discriminating a nursery worker on sex, means trusting the world and their dog.
Some people have extremely warped ideas.

Female staff continue to care for female pupils throughout their school life . A male teacher would not be called on to assist a 10 year old who may start her period at school. Although I'm sure you'd have no problem with that.