To be furious that a male nursery worker took DD to the toilet today

[heyhoplaydough]

I have always felt that it is inappropriate for male members of staff to change babies nappies or take young children to the toilet without a female chaperone. As a paediatric nurse I know that it is common policy for male doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals to have a female chaperone present when examining or carrying out treatments on children, if their parents are not present. Adult female patients are also given female chaperones during examinations where they are undressed. This is to protect their dignity and to spare embarrassment on both sides.

Why are these basic measures not in place in childcare settings?

On joining this specific nursery, I was assured that only female members of staff change nappies or take children to the toilet. I explicitly wrote in my DD's file, that she is only to be changed or taken to the toilet by female members of staff. Each time she has moved up to a new room within the nursery I have explicitly told her key carers the same.

I regularly ask my DD whether she went to the toilet and who took her, along with other questions about her day, like who she played with, what activities she did, what she had for lunch etc. Today she told me that the only male member nursery nurse took her to the toilet, without any other staff. She also said that she wiped herself and pulled her own knickers up, and does not seem at all upset, so I am confident that nothing untoward happened. However, I feel this was entirely inappropriate, and there were several female members of staff available to take DD to the toilet instead. I am absolutely furious that my wishes as her parent were not followed. Am I being unreasonable?

have never posted on AIBU before but feel compelled to say yes YABVVU. I do feel sorry for men sometimes. You do know that most abuse is from people very close to the victim.

But crapola you are teaching your children that they should be afraid of men can you not see what is wrong with this?

What if you had a son, at what age does he turn from being an inncocent child at danger from big scary men to being a big scary man?

Teach your child how to be safe, talk to them about their body and how no one has a right to do anything to them they dont like, let them know they can tell you anything and you won;t be cross or angry with them, as they get older teach them of the dangers of the internet but please stop turning them into paranoid people who will perpetuate this myth that men are paedophiles and rapists.

Have you read any of the books about other kinds of abuse (can't remember what they're called now but Child Called It type of books) they all seem to involve mothers bing vicious, nasty and abusive to their children but no onje here is propsing that all women abuse thier kids. Please really think about it.

This one kicked off then?

OP YABU

Sooo, Primal, what about my DS's dignity?
Why should a woman be OK to look after them when they are toileting?
They get just as conscious you know, these male creatures

"at 3, girls are starting to become self conscious of their body and I believe their female dignity should be respected - as soon as they start primary school girls have separate toilets from the boys for this very reason"

Nonsense. DD is totally unselfconscious of her body which is just as it should be. Any self consciousness has come from a parent.

Primal, I don't think your posts are for real. They're too stupid to be real. I think you're just being daft and provocative for no good reason.

Sorry but why would someone be 'watching them'? Do you think they peer over the doors?

Needa - what a sensible post.

I said sheep who THINK their wolves all I can her is a load of ya going

Baa Baa Baa

I have told you straight I go with my gut feeling about what I do with DCs, I don't have to try and explain or justify further than that.

Last week DD3 and I argued about her being allowed to ride certain horse I looked at it, guts said no, DD3 tried to reason ect Mam still said no. Two days later bucked and bronked my head lad off.

You don't risk your bairns end of.

I can't be arsed to read the whole thread, but may I point out (as no doubt several people have already) that Vanessa George is a woman.

You are being paranoid, neurotic and unreasonable and you are teaching your child to fear men. You are doing her no favours.

Primal - how do you just know?

"at 3, girls are starting to become self conscious of their body and I believe their female dignity should be respected - "

only girls? do boys not have their male dignity respected. is it just your precious innocent girls? my nasty dirty boys dont deserve any respect. anyone can take them to the toilet but not your precious girls?

sorry but this attitude pisses me off.

Yes, how about the male dignity of all those poor boys forced to be cared for by females? Do they somehow not matter?

I find it interesting that people re up in arms about the premature sexualisation of our children yet are teaching them to be self conscious about ther bodies at the age of 3.

Get some counselling for your paranoia issues Crap, before you really mess your DCs' minds up. Don't cause damage to them just because you're phobic and paranoid.

Oh right, yes, that cleared that up then Beesimo

Clear as mud.

Beesimo, you may hear "baa baa baa" but all I hear from you is barely coherent bollocks.

'at 3, girls are starting to become self conscious of their body and I believe their female dignity should be respected - as soon as they start primary school girls have separate toilets from the boys for this very reason' dd2 is four and spent last weekend running naked in my Gran's garden with her male cousin, who was also naked. There were adult men present

Thankyou Weblette. I think you can have a reasonable arguement with Crapola, not sure about Primal (apologies if I;m wrong there Primal!), not a cat in hells chance with Beesimo.

I knwo the MN rules state that we shouldn;t get into personal attacks but she started it with her offensive day orphange shit.

Oh well, if a horse bucked someone off then, you're right Bees, men are not to be trusted around young children.

What a prat.

" I just know my dd's wouldn't have wanted a man watching them going to the toilet " All very well, but I'm pretty sure that the nursery workers on't watch the DC going to the toilet in the literal sense. They take them to the toilet, wait outside, and provide ny assistance needed. At least, that's the case at DS's nursery.

Beesimo - you're talking shit again.

Was it a male horse though? Or perhaps a female who felt her dignity was not being respected by bend ridden by a "lad"?

needanewname i love your posts:)

SoupDragon!

Fucking autocorrect... being ridden. Not bend or whatever nonsense it switched to.

Beesimo, your horse tale was like comparing chalk and cheese.