To be furious that a male nursery worker took DD to the toilet today

[heyhoplaydough]

I have always felt that it is inappropriate for male members of staff to change babies nappies or take young children to the toilet without a female chaperone. As a paediatric nurse I know that it is common policy for male doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals to have a female chaperone present when examining or carrying out treatments on children, if their parents are not present. Adult female patients are also given female chaperones during examinations where they are undressed. This is to protect their dignity and to spare embarrassment on both sides.

Why are these basic measures not in place in childcare settings?

On joining this specific nursery, I was assured that only female members of staff change nappies or take children to the toilet. I explicitly wrote in my DD's file, that she is only to be changed or taken to the toilet by female members of staff. Each time she has moved up to a new room within the nursery I have explicitly told her key carers the same.

I regularly ask my DD whether she went to the toilet and who took her, along with other questions about her day, like who she played with, what activities she did, what she had for lunch etc. Today she told me that the only male member nursery nurse took her to the toilet, without any other staff. She also said that she wiped herself and pulled her own knickers up, and does not seem at all upset, so I am confident that nothing untoward happened. However, I feel this was entirely inappropriate, and there were several female members of staff available to take DD to the toilet instead. I am absolutely furious that my wishes as her parent were not followed. Am I being unreasonable?

Maybe we should just chop the cock and balls off any man who wants to work in childcare off. Will that solve the problem? Would at least put them off.

This was on Jeremy Vine yesterday and a female Police officer was saying that if men want to work in what are traditionally 'female' jobs then they should expect that people are suspicious of their motives.

What bollocks.

My DP is a qualified nurse (as am i) for people with LD and had to perform acts of care that were traditionally female as did all the other male nurses and care staff in the hospital where we trained.

And this was back in the 80s and 90s.

The female police officer didn't seem to grasp the fact that she is working in a role that was once the preserve of men.

I have a mental picture of Crapola and Riveninside dressing their children in Amish pinafores and telling them that holding hands makes your pregnant...

crapola, you are right that every protection should be taken but this must be balanced against the need for children to learn confidence and independance...and both these things are stunted if we teach our children that the world is nothing but a big scarey place where men should not be trusted.

Nothing has happened to my dd - I just wouldn't want a man ( who isn't her father ) taking her to the toilet - am I allowed to have that opinion?
And nursery age children are the most vulnerable so need extra protection.

TFO? is that a tagline of the amish community then?

Sorry about typos - phone on predictive text

no primal i didn't ask what you wanted. i asked why your DD wouldn't want it. what has happened in her life at such a young age to make her fear men?

But woman can also abuse. Statistics don;t matter here.

Statistically 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce, none of my friends have gone through this and I dont; think we're abnormal.

People will use statisitcs to try and justify the views.

What will you do when your children want to go to Brownies / Scouts?
What about when they're older and want to go off and do sleepovers?
What about when there are school trips for a week away?

Of course you will do whatever to safeguard your child. We have had the conversation about bodies being private and how we dont; touch each others private bits, about there are no secrets from Mummy and Daddy, you can tell us anything etc. About how its OK to shout out and make a fuss if someone does something we don;t like - and this bit here is in general terms, ie if someone pushes them they can shout out STOP IT I DON'T LIKE IT, that its fine to cause a scene.

But I will never bring my children up to think that there is a peadophile on every street corner, that every man is out to get them.

I feel very sorry for your children.

Haven't read the whole thread and no doubt this has been said but..

VANESSA GEORGE WAS A WOMAN.

YABU.

No primal, you are not becuase it is sexist. just like it is unacceptable to have racist opinions in this day and age.

Two words...

Vanessa George.

Men aren't the only abusers.

x post CrapBag..

PS - You are allowed that opinion but you aren;t able to back it up with any reasonable arguement.

And fuck off takng the piss because of one typo - Who the hell do you think you are?

So according to that logic should we tell women who work in traditional male roles that they should expect people to think they are a lesbian?!

It is just not practical for nursery workers to be accompanied in every task just in case some paranoid idiot of a parent isn't happy. I am sure e nursery have appropriate safeguarding policies in place - why don't you ask for a copy?

This whole thing makes me very and .

I'd have thought that out of all male abusers as a whole nursery staff were amongst the least likely to be guilty of child abuse. Being an Uncle, real or honourary, doesn't raise a second glance, being a male nursery nurse is such a conspicuous role that surely opportunity is highly limited and monitoring far greater than any you'd afford to, say, your friend's husband, your BIL or your own man?

I can't believe how utterly stupid some people are on this thread. I'd hate to be a daughter of someone who wouldn't let a male carer take me to the loo, as a toddler. Utter weirdos.

Does anyome remember the guy wha was suing BA (I think, it may have been another airliner though so apologies of wrong) for asking him to move as he'd have been sitting next to a child? Wonder how he got on?

THat was another ridiculous example of how completely nuts people are.

and Vanessa George had two female accomplices.

and well if men want to go into predominantly female professions and should expect discrimination maybe we should turn the clock back then ey? have predominantly male doctors/lawyers/motor mechanics/employ men in managerial positions, and if women want to compete then it's only fair they expect a bit of discrimination, after all their role is best suited at home tied to the kitchen sink and bringing up the children that shouldn't be in nursery for fear of the men who might abuse them there. no? didn't think so.

I don't need a resonable argument - I'm a mother and I do what I like with my dc - they're my responsibility and look to me for protection - they're not a work report that I have to back up with an argument.

OP as a paediatric nurse how would you feel if you applied for a job and was told you couldn't have it as all the current staff were female and they needed a male to be able to take young male patients to the loo, etc. Wouldn't you be screaming blue murder saying it was sexual discrimination?

If male nursery workers weren't allowed to assist female children then you could have a scenario where they wouldn't be given a job because of their gender. Totally wrong.

"And fuck off takng the piss because of one typo - Who the hell do you think you are?" well at least I'm not a bigot. the same cannot be said of you and your ilk.

I'm sorry I can't be arsed to read the whole thread so can someone tell me whether anyone has asked the OP about this statement.

. "Adult female patients are also given female chaperones during examinations where they are undressed. This is to protect their dignity and to spare embarrassment on both sides."

I've been in and out of hospitals since I was a pre-teen. How does it preserve your dignity to have yet another stranger -regardless of sex- being in the room if you are undressed?
And why would a medical professional be embarrased? They see naked people everyday!

I have always had male consultants, there was never a female present just to "keep an eye out" Plenty of females in the masses of medical students, mind you!

BTW OP, YABU, incase the 500 posts before this havent sunk in.