...to smoke cannabis while breastfeeding

[SemiCharmedWife]

I don't know where to begin.

Actually I do, I'm not a troll, I'm not a regular poster who has namechanged, I'm a lurker who reads the reviews and reads the forums when the baby is having a day of eating and I am stuck to the sofa. This is probably a one-shot username and as it is, I am a little worried someone will trace my IP because what I'm doing is illegal and probably a bit wrong, but I can't be bothered with the SWIM (Someone Who Isn't Me) games. Please be aware I am not taking this lightly, but I don't know who else to come clean to.

I realise by saying 'I'm not a troll', 95% of people will nod and think 'that's what a troll would say'.

I'm procrastinating.

I still smoke weed while breastfeeding DD (4 months) and I was still toking while pregnant. I found out I was pregnant when I was over 20 weeks gone last autumn - if it had been all nicely planned, I tell myself I would have given up. I had an easy pregnancy, a natural labour and DD was a week overdue and perfectly healthy. I am aware that I potentially have dodged a bullet and I would have been devastated if there had been something wrong with her. I think I'm an average mum. I love her (although it wasn't instant, she makes me melt now when she smiles and laughs), I am patient 97% of the time, most housework gets done and I take her out of the house every other day at least.

But I never managed to stop smoking cannabis.

I was going to stop at the new year, then I was going to stop when the baby was born, then I was only going to smoke when the baby was in bed and we tried... but right now, we're smoking as soon as DH gets in from work, then maybe after dinner then almost definitely before bed. One of us stays with DD and we take turns if she's being grumpy, otherwise we go outside and keep an eye on her if she's downstairs/take the monitor if she's in bed. I don't get so stoned that I couldn't react if there was an emergency, I just relax and chat with DH.

Are there any studies that say whether the downsides of smoking weed outweight the downsides of formula? I'm reluctant to give up breastfeeding because it's working for us and I wouldn't be able to pick it back up again, but I can't help but think I am drugging my DD sometimes. Are there actually plenty of mums who still smoke and it's a big, well-kept secret? Am I worrying too much and me and DH will grow out of it (I make us sound like teenagers, we're both mid-20s)? It has to be said that while I would quite like to stop sometimes, my DH will apply pressure to spend money on weed, is very pro-smoking and doesn't think I'm doing/have done anything wrong and even voiced the opinion that I had such an easy pregnancy because I was smoking (not in spite of!). What will the police/SS actually do if someone reports me? Do I deserve to have my baby taken away from me?

I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this, but I'm too scared to be honest with the Health Visitor or the Doctor and I'm even lying to most of my friends (who knew I smoked but presumed I gave up when I was pregnant/had DD). Maybe I need to have my arse kicked and my face rubbed into cold hard facts that prove what I am doing is DISGUSTING and WRONG. Maybe people will surprise me and admit a lot of parents (especially with littl'uns who don't understand) still smoke cannabis, my DH is right and I should just stop worrying. Maybe people will empathise and have ideas on how to say no while DH is outside the back door smoking.

And let the judging commence.

AND NO YOU DONT DESERVE TO HAVE BABY TAKEN AWAY. but I do think you have a battle cutting down if DH does not want to....................................

I will never preach, but I really would try and CUT DOWN, thats alot easier than cold turkey. could you cut to 1 day and make sure its after a feed?

what if your dd was born with a serious abnormality, disorder or disability? would that have been enough to make you stop?

i can't see how you are going to stop given the details you have shared about how long you've been doing it, your dh and your friends. it's not going to happen if you are surrounded by it every day. it's going to take a serious incident or change of lifestyle to make you stop isn't it?

you are not going to find your answers here but i do really respect you for being honest and admitting what you have. is that the first step to really giving up? you are an addict and there are plenty of people out there who can and will help you give up, if that's what you want.

do you still want to be a drug addict in 1,5,10yrs time?

You're an addict. Plain and simple. Get help, because yes, you are doing something wrong, you are damaging yourself and your baby. You'll end up, if you haven't already, with few or no friends who aren't stoners, in a catch 22. Your child will grow up thinking that a house full of stoners and a drug culture is normal. Do you really want that for her?

I've seen the results of this with a friend. I'm about the only non-user friend she has. Her 4 DC are aged 8 to 16 and their lives are fucked.

Think about it.

All credit to you for posting on here, now take the next step. Acknowledging you have a problem is a start but it's not enough - YOU have to do something about it and frankly your husband needs either to grow up and chuck it in too and start supporting you, not encouraging you or fuck off while YOU have to take responsibility for what you do and stop blaming him unless he's force feeding the shit to you.

Tough talk, yes. Good luck.

If you are serious about bf, I assume it's because you want the best for your baby.
So in this case, you must stop smoking. End of. Saying that it might have help with your mental health issues is, well, mental. You'll be better off back on medication alongside a referral for psychological/iatric help.
The fact that is weed and not hash makes absolutely zero difference in my eyes.
The fact that other people have been in charge of kids while stoned doesn't make it ok nor the fact that you think you have high tolerance to weed.

lots of people on here have said about experiences they have wih parents who smoke weed and their children being fucked or what not. But smoking weed dousnt make you a bad person or a bad parent, there are lots of bad parents who dont smoke. the two dont automatically mean bad mother.

bf while taking drugs is still better than not bf, although because its smoked it would be better if you wait until after you have given your last feed. justbe sensible about it

What about rastafarians? Their babies are ok?
Bob Marley had loads of sprogs.

I don't puff but drink far too much wine.

I cant see the harm in a wee toke out the back door when baby is down for the night but what worries me more is that ur DH is almost forcing u to smoke.Sounds very controlling and immature.Is he going to force DD to smoke when she is older to make himself feel better?Make a stand now or it seems to me that u stuck in a rut for a long time to come.
Weed can make that rut a lot deeper and harder to get out of.

"What about rastafarians? Their babies are ok?"

I don't know; has anyone carried out a serious study, or are we just guessing?

Knittedbreast made a good point.
What's worse, a parent smoking a joint at night or a parent having 2 glasses of wine in the evening? I know for a fact I could function better after a joint than 2 drinks.
This post has nothing to do with the op being able to function as a parent, the op is worried about cannabis in breast milk affecting the baby and there is no scientific proof that it does or doesn't.
Bad parents can use cannabis but using cannabis doesnt automatically make you a bad parent.

You said it yourself - you are being incredibly selfish. It is a disgusting habit and you are putting your baby's life in danger as you and your DP are not capable of looking after her whilst you are under the influence - no matter what you think!!

Your DD is more important than some drug. She is helpless in this dangerous situation you and your DP have placed her in. You both need to get a grip.

I really, really feel for your poor DD. :(

Very sad OP. Please get some help. Of course FF would be better than BF for your poor DD.

There has been a study done on Rastafarian mothers. Smoking cannabis while breastfeeding showed no ill effects on infants but follow up studies were not done so it is unknown if there were any long term effects.
Link: www.naturalchildbirth.org/natural/resources/breastfeeding/breastfeeding08.htm

Sorry, I'll try that link again
www.naturalchildbirth.org/natural/resources/breastfeeding/breastfeeding08.htm

OP, you are brave for posting this, good on you. Now you need to be a little bit braver. Make an appointment to see your doctor and get a referral to a psychiatrist. You know you have MH problems and I totally understand that the cannibis feels like it is helping, it is only helping in the way that alcohol would help. It is masking the problem, numbing you. Long term this is a dangerous strategy and one that will have a greater negative effect on you and your child. Where cannibis causes psychosis there is most often an existing MH problem. Your cannibis use is not casual, you cannot stop. Some people can drink, some can smoke. Alcoholics should not drink. You should not smoke.

Get help now. They won't judge, they will help you with medication and counselling. It may be difficult but it is the best thing you will ever do.

What's worse, a parent smoking a joint at night or a parent having 2 glasses of wine in the evening? I know for a fact I could function better after a joint than 2 drinks

EXACTLY! are the people that are being quite so alarmist on here non drinkers?

loving the ratstababy post!!!!

^What's worse, a parent smoking a joint at night or a parent having 2 glasses of wine in the evening? I know for a fact I could function better after a joint than 2 drinks.
^ Err...how about how well you could function after 3 joints MrsNoName- which is what the OP says she has every night?
OP: you need to choose between FF or smoking weed. If it's too hard to give up switch to FF: there's no harm associated with it. It won't turn your DD into an addict/cause her to suffer from depression or MH issues/make her lazy and unambitious. The occasional joint might not effect her....3 joints every day will.

I bet Bob Marley did not breastfeed, though!

Oh for fuck's sake. Does nobody understand the concept of holistic parenting? OP - The least of your baby's worries is her nutrition.

'Yeah I might be getting off my face in the garden every night but at least I'm breastfeeding...'

Priceless.

I know, some people are dim, arent they!

Gotta feel sorry for the kids. I wonder what Jeremy Kyle would have to say.....

sparkly I used to smoke 7 or 8 joints (occasionally more) every day and I could function perfectly well as I said in an earlier post.
Long term cannabis users build up a tolerance. They're not all incoherent addicts slumped in a corner unable to function. Most lead perfectly normal lives and use cannabis in the same manner others use alcohol.

No, but all his wives probably did.

I think, if the amount you're smoking worries you then you should cut down or give up. Bot stop with all the guilt, you'll be fine.

Anyway, I'd much rather have you for a mum than some of the pious dullards rounds here. Honestly.

I can imagine it is difficult if it is a real habit for you and you feel the need for stress relief.

That said, my attitude to drugs is do it to yourself if you want to but don't impose it on someone else, i.e. a baby. And it might affect the baby's brain development. My belief is that drugs affect different people in different ways and my understanding is that it is thought some susceptible teenagers have incurred brain damage leading to mental problems due to taking drugs when their brains were still developing. So if it can affect a teenager, it could affect a baby in utero. To what degree I don't know.

Get help to stop, if possible.

razzlebathbone
Exactly

I did an analysis of studies on pregnant and bf mothers who smoked tobacco. I'm guessing your spliffs contain tobacco? All studies showed tobacco smoke is bad for foetuses and babies.
(Please don't ask for links, was while ago now!).
A mate of my sister's is addicted to cannabis like you. She is early 30's and now has a poor short term memory.
You won't be able to give up cannabis easily - not with your DP still smoking - so you need to start Formula Feeding now. And you need to insist that DP smokes away from the baby. It will be very hard to convince him so good luck.
Your HV will help - if she's been to your home she will have smelt the weed anyway.
Also look for the number of a local charity who can give you counselling and advice.
Even if you decide to still have the occasional spliff - save it for when your baby is at your mum's, eg.

No matter how you look at this, you can't justify it. It's illegal, dangerous, selfish, cruel - the list goes on. Any deficiency in the number of studies on the adverse effects of cannabis in babies is probably due to under-reporting of the problem. It's hard to do studies on minority groups.

If you don't feel able to stop on your own, then get help.