...to smoke cannabis while breastfeeding

[SemiCharmedWife]

I don't know where to begin.

Actually I do, I'm not a troll, I'm not a regular poster who has namechanged, I'm a lurker who reads the reviews and reads the forums when the baby is having a day of eating and I am stuck to the sofa. This is probably a one-shot username and as it is, I am a little worried someone will trace my IP because what I'm doing is illegal and probably a bit wrong, but I can't be bothered with the SWIM (Someone Who Isn't Me) games. Please be aware I am not taking this lightly, but I don't know who else to come clean to.

I realise by saying 'I'm not a troll', 95% of people will nod and think 'that's what a troll would say'.

I'm procrastinating.

I still smoke weed while breastfeeding DD (4 months) and I was still toking while pregnant. I found out I was pregnant when I was over 20 weeks gone last autumn - if it had been all nicely planned, I tell myself I would have given up. I had an easy pregnancy, a natural labour and DD was a week overdue and perfectly healthy. I am aware that I potentially have dodged a bullet and I would have been devastated if there had been something wrong with her. I think I'm an average mum. I love her (although it wasn't instant, she makes me melt now when she smiles and laughs), I am patient 97% of the time, most housework gets done and I take her out of the house every other day at least.

But I never managed to stop smoking cannabis.

I was going to stop at the new year, then I was going to stop when the baby was born, then I was only going to smoke when the baby was in bed and we tried... but right now, we're smoking as soon as DH gets in from work, then maybe after dinner then almost definitely before bed. One of us stays with DD and we take turns if she's being grumpy, otherwise we go outside and keep an eye on her if she's downstairs/take the monitor if she's in bed. I don't get so stoned that I couldn't react if there was an emergency, I just relax and chat with DH.

Are there any studies that say whether the downsides of smoking weed outweight the downsides of formula? I'm reluctant to give up breastfeeding because it's working for us and I wouldn't be able to pick it back up again, but I can't help but think I am drugging my DD sometimes. Are there actually plenty of mums who still smoke and it's a big, well-kept secret? Am I worrying too much and me and DH will grow out of it (I make us sound like teenagers, we're both mid-20s)? It has to be said that while I would quite like to stop sometimes, my DH will apply pressure to spend money on weed, is very pro-smoking and doesn't think I'm doing/have done anything wrong and even voiced the opinion that I had such an easy pregnancy because I was smoking (not in spite of!). What will the police/SS actually do if someone reports me? Do I deserve to have my baby taken away from me?

I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this, but I'm too scared to be honest with the Health Visitor or the Doctor and I'm even lying to most of my friends (who knew I smoked but presumed I gave up when I was pregnant/had DD). Maybe I need to have my arse kicked and my face rubbed into cold hard facts that prove what I am doing is DISGUSTING and WRONG. Maybe people will surprise me and admit a lot of parents (especially with littl'uns who don't understand) still smoke cannabis, my DH is right and I should just stop worrying. Maybe people will empathise and have ideas on how to say no while DH is outside the back door smoking.

And let the judging commence.

I was just looking around and went across this this thread. I was diagnosed to have severe depression 2 years ago and tried almost everything out there that "could" help. The only medication that worked best for me is medical cannabis. I perfectly understand that it's not legal everywhere. At first I was doubtful so I started doing my own research and read articles about marijuana. I found out that each marijuana strain has different uses for different diseases. Like this strain www.gyo.green/fruity-cannabis-strains.html This one is very effective when it comes to stress and anxiety.

@FlissMumsnet

Would it be a good idea maybe to lock threads when they are more than 12 months old?

It's crazy when they resurface after several years!

If you really can't stop, you must formula fed and not smoke in the house with the baby

Ugh

You’re an addict and you’ve put your child at risk. You don’t deserve children and if I knew you, I’d report you to child services

Like others have said - you KNOW this isn't okay. I wouldn't smoke with a small baby or child even if I wasn't breastfeeding, just like I wouldn't have a couple of glasses of wine every day. It's worrying that you can't stop and for that reason you should seek help. Smoking weed may not be physically addictive but it's definitely mentally addictive and can ruin your life. I know people who have smoked an average amount and have ended up being sectioned with weed-induced psychosis and having ongoing MH issues after that. I know other people who (maybe similar to you) have got so used to smoking that they can't stop, feeling anxious, irritable, just wrong if they don't smoke. This isn't okay and theres always the risk that the problem might escalate because they (like you) have already lost control because they can't quit.

Issues you need to consider:

• Do you really feel you can parent well after smoking?
• Would you judge a parent who drank as often as you smoke?
• Do you smoke with tobacco? If so that's another health issue to worry about.
• Do you think other parents will judge you or feel worried about letting their children socialise with yours? I wouldn't want my DC having playdates with a child whose mother smoked weed (they might not know, but I find weed smokers always smell MUCH worse than they realise and it's really obvious).
• Do you consider this to be a safeguarding issue, and do you think social services might think it's a safeguarding issue? As I think they will, especially as it's both parents. I don't know for sure what they will do, but they might remove her from your care as you're both technically dependent on drugs.
• Don't you think your daughter deserves to be parented by two people who can give her their full attention rather than having to literally be drugged to spend time with her or live their lives?

I know this sounds a little dramatic and you might be like "It's just weed, chill out!" I'd have been the same before having my kids. But now you have kids this needs to stop. Children need you to be there, fully there, not in a weed induced haze, able to give them your full attention, able to make good decisions, able to act fast in an emergency. This is quite a big deal and will seem like a big deal to other parents and social services and your DDs future school, your friends... A lot of people. Please seek help, either from a GP or from a helpline. Your daughter really deserves better.

You are effectively forcing a child to smoke weed. Do you also mix the weed with tobacco?

If I knew who you were I would report you to social services.

The NHS clearly says that the smell of smoke on clothing constitutes passive smoking. You are advised not to hold a baby until you have showered and changed your clothes if you have been smoking.

I don’t know if weed enters breastmilk but even if it doesn’t, you are putting your child in a huge amount of danger.

You’re also doing a lot of damage to your own health.

This really is the most shocking post I’ve ever read on mumsnet. You’ve essentially come on here and told us that you are abusing your child.

I think you’re badly addicted if having your baby wasn’t enough of a kick in the arse to make you stop. Few things could be more compelling than the fact that you are harming a baby. That you still smoke so much, while pregnant and while breastfeeding, shows how strong a hold your addiction has on you.

You know that you are actively harming your baby. You know she has to be the priority. That means you urgently have to seek professional help to overcome this addiction.

If your husband won’t support you in this you need to question the influence he has on your life, and whether you value his preferences over your daughter’s wellbeing.

Oh man, zombie!

Check the dates...
This baby is about 8YEARS OLD NOW!! 😂