...to smoke cannabis while breastfeeding

[SemiCharmedWife]

I don't know where to begin.

Actually I do, I'm not a troll, I'm not a regular poster who has namechanged, I'm a lurker who reads the reviews and reads the forums when the baby is having a day of eating and I am stuck to the sofa. This is probably a one-shot username and as it is, I am a little worried someone will trace my IP because what I'm doing is illegal and probably a bit wrong, but I can't be bothered with the SWIM (Someone Who Isn't Me) games. Please be aware I am not taking this lightly, but I don't know who else to come clean to.

I realise by saying 'I'm not a troll', 95% of people will nod and think 'that's what a troll would say'.

I'm procrastinating.

I still smoke weed while breastfeeding DD (4 months) and I was still toking while pregnant. I found out I was pregnant when I was over 20 weeks gone last autumn - if it had been all nicely planned, I tell myself I would have given up. I had an easy pregnancy, a natural labour and DD was a week overdue and perfectly healthy. I am aware that I potentially have dodged a bullet and I would have been devastated if there had been something wrong with her. I think I'm an average mum. I love her (although it wasn't instant, she makes me melt now when she smiles and laughs), I am patient 97% of the time, most housework gets done and I take her out of the house every other day at least.

But I never managed to stop smoking cannabis.

I was going to stop at the new year, then I was going to stop when the baby was born, then I was only going to smoke when the baby was in bed and we tried... but right now, we're smoking as soon as DH gets in from work, then maybe after dinner then almost definitely before bed. One of us stays with DD and we take turns if she's being grumpy, otherwise we go outside and keep an eye on her if she's downstairs/take the monitor if she's in bed. I don't get so stoned that I couldn't react if there was an emergency, I just relax and chat with DH.

Are there any studies that say whether the downsides of smoking weed outweight the downsides of formula? I'm reluctant to give up breastfeeding because it's working for us and I wouldn't be able to pick it back up again, but I can't help but think I am drugging my DD sometimes. Are there actually plenty of mums who still smoke and it's a big, well-kept secret? Am I worrying too much and me and DH will grow out of it (I make us sound like teenagers, we're both mid-20s)? It has to be said that while I would quite like to stop sometimes, my DH will apply pressure to spend money on weed, is very pro-smoking and doesn't think I'm doing/have done anything wrong and even voiced the opinion that I had such an easy pregnancy because I was smoking (not in spite of!). What will the police/SS actually do if someone reports me? Do I deserve to have my baby taken away from me?

I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this, but I'm too scared to be honest with the Health Visitor or the Doctor and I'm even lying to most of my friends (who knew I smoked but presumed I gave up when I was pregnant/had DD). Maybe I need to have my arse kicked and my face rubbed into cold hard facts that prove what I am doing is DISGUSTING and WRONG. Maybe people will surprise me and admit a lot of parents (especially with littl'uns who don't understand) still smoke cannabis, my DH is right and I should just stop worrying. Maybe people will empathise and have ideas on how to say no while DH is outside the back door smoking.

And let the judging commence.

God, there are some really stupid people on this thread.

And no, I don't drink or smoke fwiw.

You know you should pack it in .. saying that, sister smoked while pregnant and never gave up, her daughter is 18 now .. does not smoke anything .. shes had a child of her own mind .. but as health goes .. they're all well. Including my sister who has smoked weed for .. errrmmmm I reckon 30 years? :-/ ..

But ya should try n give it up :) .. You know that though .. you don't need any of us to tell you

so the plan is to go cold turkey on your own, surrounded by friends and family who always have been and sound like they always will be drug addicts. really??

how will you deal with things if you're current coping strategy is the cannabis, which you are planning to stop using?

Op nobody can say for sure the implications (social, mental or physical) that your lifestyle will have on your DD as she grows up.
I think you know that smoking cannabis and BF isn't ideal. As your mother led pretty much the same lifestyle as you are now, I assume you were aware of this growing up? How did it make you feel when you realised your mum smoked cannabis? Have you thought of how you will answer your DD when she's bigger and asks "what's that mummy" when she sees you smoking a joint?
You don't need your partner to stop smoking in order to stop yourself if you are determined enough but it would be beneficial if you both gave up.
Your GP won't judge you if you ask for help but you have to be determined to help yourself first.
It's not as hard as you may think. I have tried and failed to give up cigarettes many times but stopped smoking cannabis overnight with absolutely no negative effects whatsoever and my life carried on just the same afterwards so it can be done.
Can I also say that I'm shocked at some of the uninformed, bitchy and downright nasty comments you have had from some people on here.

Others have given some great advice on here so can't really expand, but I am [shocked] at some posters thinking that bf whilst on drugs is better than formula, where is the evidence. So it's still ok to pass hazardous chemicals to your baby, your bf so makes it right! Does anyone have any studies on the long term effects to support this!

It seems to be that anything, even taking drugs is better than ff

It's probably right that no-one can be sure that this will definitely affect this little girl, but why would you take the risk? It has been proven that cannabis can cause severe mental health issues for those who's brains are vulnerable. Speaking as the adoptive mother of two children who were damaged (one more than the other) by their birth mother's lifestyle (cannabis, nicotine and alcohol), I'd say get help to stop immediately. No second chances with this sort of thing if you're one of the vulnerable ones.

are we on the same thread?????

she says she has 3 spliffs when baby is in bed. NOT around the baby FFS

That all said, OP I think from a mental health POV you might want to stop/cut down. I actually think being strong when your partner smokes is more of an issue here no?

But as for the TWAT that said she wants to call SS on you! sweet fucking jesus

I think OP needs to speak to her GP/Psych/CPN and admit she is taking cannabis and get help to stop now.

You also need to start ffing today (words I'd never thought I'd say!) but talk through how to minimise your chances of mastitis with a bfc. You will probably need to pump and dump for a while to give your supply a chance to wind down.

I wish you luck but don't ignore your responsibilities to your daughter to bring her up in a safe environment .

It's no wonder the op feels she can't ask for help in RL for fear of getting a reaction like she has here.
She's recognised there is a problem and came on this forum for support and guidance as there is nobody she can turn to in RL.
Instead she gets called down to the lowest and told her child should be taken away from her.

www.cfp.ca/content/51/3/349.full.pdf+html

Porcamiseria, if you bother to read the OP you'll see that the posters original intention was only to take drugs once her DD was in bed, but they were unable to control themselves until then so start as soon as DH comes in from work and continue throughout the evening. The baby is around, they either listen for her via the monitor whilst they take drugs, or one of them takes drugs whilst the other watches her then they swap over. Sounds perfect. Maybe where you're from that is great parenting? I stand by my original post, if I knew a little girl was being brought up in these circumstances I would alert SS. If that makes me a twat in your eyes then I think I can live with it. You are a moron if you honestly want to defend her behaviour.

hmm, so you have Bipolar. Self medicating for Bipolar often ends very nasty, maybe not now, but in the future i think you will regret this, and as it has a habit of following in families your daugher may grow up and develop bipolar too. If she thinks its safe to selfmedicate as she has seen you do, well, it may not work as well for her as you think it is for. I wouldnt want to even risk that, and i certainly wouldnt want that on my conscience. Do you?

I recognise from your posts that it is this from my own experiences, the meds, the reactions etc. If you want to talk to someone who has sufferd/is suffering in the same way feel free to pm me

I've known a number of people who were able to kick their addiction to weed.

Guess what, not one of them regrets it. All of them have much better lives now.

Do you honestly think your life will be WORSE if you quit?
I understand there are other issues but there is support for all of them. If you reach out to people, no one is going to let you go insane and lose your family. You are thinking worst-case scenario in order to justify what is ultimately selfish behaviour.

Hey, I've done it myself. If I could go back in time I would kick my own ass.

But it's all bollocks. You know it's wrong and you need to stop.

waffle I am not defending her, and I would not personally consume that much spliff when BF. But in parallel there is alot of overeaction on here. legality aside, I genionely dont see a huge difference between having a couple of spliffs and couple of wines. I think some people read DRUGS and just panic IMO. I dont think SS need to be alerted and I assume that other than smoking spliff they are loving parents

I think the OPs depression is the issue

and I dont think you should make comments like that, cruel

and I know some good parents that smoke the odd spliff. and I am sure ithers do too

I am seeing zero stats and alot of reactions and alot of judgement

and like it or not I have read that the benfits of BF outweigh the disadvantages of drug taking, though how drugs I suppose.........

Brave girl for posting. Support and encouragement is what is needed. You made the first steps to giving up by coming on. As with any addiction you're more likely to make it work by taking professional advice. I agree with dreamingbohemian -everybody bar none that I know that has given up weed has never regretted it and improved their lives. Best of luck to you.

You are brave. I hope you will be ok (would end this with an x but scared of MN Police)

WTF? glad you had a "natural labour" though. Wouldn't want a filthy epiduaral to get in the way of you being natural

What is wrong with me?????

I would never dream of taking drugs while pregnant, had trouble even taking one paracetamol when in pain. Must be a generation thing, I missed it obviously. I hate smoke, matches and the smell of ganja. I barely had a stout when pregnant.

But saying that I did have a few champers when baby was home and I was feeding for a few weeks.

I just don't get the weed thing.

Op I don't really think the research you want exists, one study reports developmental delay at one, the other reports no differences. Other reports don't do follow ups and it is the long term developmental stuff you need to know. Thc stays in your system so can't be manipulated in the way alcohol can be, time from last smoke is similarly largely irrelevant until that time is a long time. You know it is not ideal, I don't think anyone can say with authority that it is absolutely safe for your baby.

All of the benefits of bf still come into play though, including a reduction of SIDS for example. Your baby is less likely to get infections and less likely to be hospitalised and many of the health benefits are life long. There are other benefits that are similarly long term with regard to bonding and this might be especially important to you both. Especially when your smokng will impair your level of attention to the baby.

Is the thc dose worse than this ... I don't know. You care about your baby, you know how hard your situation is, I hope you are able to stop for you (both). I don't think your choice to bf is wrong at all and I don't think you are naive to explore your options. Ff is safe but your baby will still have (lower) thc levels even if you feed this way but will have lost the benefits of the SIDS protection and would be more susceptible to infections. The bonding stuff might be even more important to keep and you can get some protection from depression whilst feeding though ths doesn't work for everyone. L

I have zero issues with people moderately smoking weed (as in socially and occasionally) though I don't myself. I also think there are positives to weed and society should chill out about it.

But...

Not while you are pregnant or breastfeeding, ESPECIALLY if you are rolling with tobacco.

Sorry but I think you should not be doing this and try to keep your child as far away from it as possible until she can make a choice herself on whether or not she wants to consume it.

One thing I will say is that over consumption (daily consumption of more than one strong spliff for instance) can trigger mental health issues if you are susceptible to such things (mental health problems can be genetic and can be triggered by over consumption of drugs in many people).

My family member works in Mental Health and I have seen it first hand, It is very sad.

The research about controlling relationships does however exist.

But as others have said, you are brave for asking. Hope you get the answers you are looking for.

Oh and I also think weed in its pure form and used moderately is safer than alcohol. I agree with Porcamiseria's post above.