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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just found my husband with someone else.

748 replies

morewinevicar · 06/06/2011 23:08

I walked straight out, but have nowhere to go. No stuff. My little boy is asleep in the house. I was away on a course but couldn't stand to stay at the rubbish travel lodge for the night so drove for hours and just got home. Andmy husband was on the sofa with a woman. Very blonde but didn't see much else and they were drinking and looked like they'd just jumped apart when they heard the door. I'm shaking. I don't know where to go. My son is in the house. How could he?????

OP posts:
Gay40 · 07/06/2011 00:58

Just adding my support too, and to say you've done the right thing.
Also, I think you are right not to ring your sister. I can see it from both sides. If I was your sister, I'd want you to ring. If I was you, I wouldn't want to spoil her holiday.
Glad your friend is coming over xx

PercyPigPie · 07/06/2011 01:03

Going to bed now OP, I hope your friend comes soon. That you were TTC makes it all the more cruel. What a bastard.

aurynne · 07/06/2011 01:04

morewinevicar, this is awful :(. I feel horrified and so, so angry on your behalf! Please take care of yourself, cry on your friend's shoulder, hug your little DS and get as much rest as you can. Take every day as it comes and don't make long term plans yet, you are in shock. I wish I could do more to help. Big hugs.

fearnelinen · 07/06/2011 01:06

One day, you'll be so glad you bunked off that course and discovered this today. Not. worth. your. tears.

Northernlurker · 07/06/2011 01:48

I wouldn't ring your sister unless you really can't cope without telling her. Unless she gets an earlier flight back there is very little she can do at this point and that would be very upsetting for her and all her family.

If you can bear it you need to think actually who do you want to tell because if you intend to give your marriage a second go then I would actually tell as few people as possible. No reason why you should spare your husband at all but it will be harder to rebuild things if everybody in your family and circle of friends thinks he's a bastard.

Tiredmumno1 · 07/06/2011 01:52
MollyMurphy · 07/06/2011 02:10

I hope your okay. Feeling sad for your situation - I think you handled it just right and should be proud at how you held it together.

stargazer83 · 07/06/2011 02:25

Nothing to add accept I'm sorry your going through this but you should be proud at how well you handled this awful situation. I hope your ok and dont be ashamed your not the one who should be HE is.

Bearskinwoolies · 07/06/2011 02:41

Just want to add that I hope you're ok, and to

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 07/06/2011 02:43

Vicar, love, I'm hoping you're either asleep or talking to your friend by now. Just echoing everyone else - you've done brilliantly, what an incredible shock.

ScoobyDoosMum · 07/06/2011 04:18

Another insomniac here hoping things are going ok vicar. What a terrible, terrible shock. You've handled it brilliantly and with total dignity. I hope your is having the worst night of his life.

ScoobyDoosMum · 07/06/2011 04:19

your DH is having the worst night of his life - that's what comes of posting when you should be asleep!

CheerfulYank · 07/06/2011 04:33

I am thinking every single bad name I have ever heard or used and directing them all at your H. How could he?!

I am so sorry for everything you're going through. I just want to echo what everyone else has said, that this is not your fault and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. It's all on him.

You're doing brilliantly, stay strong!

ninedragons · 07/06/2011 04:51

Joining MrsDistinctly and Tortoise to say we Aussies are always here for the night shift if you can't sleep tonight or any other night.

He hasn't humiliated you; he's humiliated himself by behaving like an utter shit.

MrsDistinctlyMintyMonetarism · 07/06/2011 05:02

Yup. Still here. Checking in every hour or so to see if you are ok. Hoping that you are quiet means that you are getting some sleep.

NunTheWiser · 07/06/2011 05:09

Another Aussie here awake if you can't sleep and need to chat.

CheerfulYank · 07/06/2011 05:09

Americans are still awake too...hope you're doing all right. Thinking of you!

allhailtheaubergine · 07/06/2011 05:44

What a horrible shock. Thinking of you.

honeybee007 · 07/06/2011 05:44

Hope you're as ok as you can be OP. You're ds will be so excited to see you this morning when he wakes up. Us brits are back on duty now too so you have lots of support to vent if you are alone.

It's going to be tough but from your posts you seem a very strong woman. Thinking of you.

honeybee007 · 07/06/2011 05:45

You're ds = your ds stupid auto type

BootyMum · 07/06/2011 07:26

Here for you too. X

mazfah · 07/06/2011 07:34

I'm so sorry OP. Hope you can do something lovely with your day off to treat yourself. Thinking of you x

aurynne · 07/06/2011 07:35

New Zealand here... you have women all over the world worrying about you :).

CareyFakes · 07/06/2011 07:44

You can be utterly proud with how you've dealt with this, I wouldn't have been so dignifed.

Thinking of you and your boy.

GreenTeapot · 07/06/2011 07:50

So sorry that this has happened to you but you have handled the situation with strength and dignity.

Thinking of you today.