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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just found my husband with someone else.

748 replies

morewinevicar · 06/06/2011 23:08

I walked straight out, but have nowhere to go. No stuff. My little boy is asleep in the house. I was away on a course but couldn't stand to stay at the rubbish travel lodge for the night so drove for hours and just got home. Andmy husband was on the sofa with a woman. Very blonde but didn't see much else and they were drinking and looked like they'd just jumped apart when they heard the door. I'm shaking. I don't know where to go. My son is in the house. How could he?????

OP posts:
MoreCrackThanHarlem · 07/06/2011 22:15

Thinking of you tonight
Hope you and your ds are OK xx

hairypotter · 07/06/2011 22:18

Another one adding a message of support and to say how strong and dignified you are. Stay strong,

TheLadyEvenstar · 07/06/2011 22:30

Vicar I really hope you are ok after H coming round.

Have a hug from me. xx

PercyPigPie · 07/06/2011 22:32

Only read as far as the text. Morewine - I think he has lost the right to barge in and say good night to his son. Why the concern for his son all of a sudden? It seemed to be absent last night.

Have you asked your son if he saw her yet? I would be so tempted (and I would do it before he forgets).

Happymm · 07/06/2011 22:34

Another lurked, wishing you well,x

ohsolonely · 07/06/2011 22:37

Hope you are OK. I have been thinking of you all day.

I hope this evening has not been too traumatic with him coming around.

PercyPigPie · 07/06/2011 22:44

In your OP you said you had no stuff with you. Does this mean that you left it all in the hotel? worried for you in case you have forgotten it!

bupcakesandcunting · 07/06/2011 22:44

I must say I agree with the posters telling you not to do anything rash, although I do understand why people are telling you to get even as we are angry for you, MoreWine.

Unfotunately for you your H has left you with a right mess to clear up. Really, it is too early to begin clearing up the mess. Some assessment is needed before you even attempt it. You will be feeling raw and in shock and usually decisions made in this state are not well thought out ideas. As the lovely women on here have said to you already, your well-being and your son's is your priority.

I hope that the silly barstard hasn't caused you too much agro tonight.

Thingumy · 07/06/2011 22:49

Just checking in and sending more thoughts out to you OP

Jajas · 07/06/2011 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pennies · 07/06/2011 23:01

Horrific for you. Stay strong and follow some of the excellent advice given here.

RichTeaAreCrap · 07/06/2011 23:04

Just checking in to see how you are after his visit Vicar.

He really sounds a piece of work. Hope you managed to stay strong, you are doing so well. Glad your friend is with you, it's great that she is there to help you with this.

I agree, dont make any quick decisions, just take your time to let it all sink in and then make the decisions you want in your time.

bumpsnowjustplump · 07/06/2011 23:06

Thinking of you, hope you and ds are ok..

MisSalLaneous · 07/06/2011 23:11

Oh OP, I've only just seen this thread. No words, but really just wanted to let you know another person out there thinking of you tonight. Wishing you strength.

foolserrand · 07/06/2011 23:16

Vicar, checking back to see how you are. Hope he didn't make this evening too awful for you. Have you managed to eat anything today? Or sleep? Cannot begin to understand how you feel right now. Again, so sorry.

letitlie · 07/06/2011 23:23

Thinking of you and also hope this evening went well. Hold your dignity, it will make you feel so much better in the long run.

In as far as finances goes, go with what feels right for you. I guess from several of these posts there's a lot out there who have had their fingers burned, however my personal experience was that at the time of discovering the affair money wasn't a consideration for me or XH. It was all sorted amicably at a later date despite the situation he put us in, I feel only you can be the judge of what is right for you, although at this numb point in time I appreciate that's easier said than done.

Unmumsnetty hugs from me to you

SpeedyGonzalez · 07/06/2011 23:34

Thinking of you, vicar.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 07/06/2011 23:35

Just caught up with this thread- can't believe he hasn't even tried to find out how you and your son are Sad Whether it's cowardice or hard-heartedness, I would find that very hard to ever forgive.

I think you are doing brilliantly, and your friend is a star- thank God she is there for you. This must have been a terrible shock, and I hope you are taking the good advice of many on here and looking after yourself. So sad and angry for you.

PercyPigPie · 08/06/2011 00:09

Not sure, but also now fixated by filling a castle with custard and marbles [wondering whether to mix marbles in or balance on custard skin].

PercyPigPie · 08/06/2011 00:10

Oh shit. Wrong thread.

I haven't lost my, er, marbles it was for this thread Blush.

PercyPigPie · 08/06/2011 00:14

Sorry OP - that was a totally inappropriate and badly timed screw up on my behalf Blush

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 08/06/2011 00:15

You've fooled no-one, Mud - watch out for those white coats.

Thingumy · 08/06/2011 00:15

hey don't worry mud Smile

wonka · 08/06/2011 00:22

Too funny Mud
Hope things went ok this evening MoreWine and it wasn't too confusing for you little boy?
Hope you manage some sleep..

Bearskinwoolies · 08/06/2011 04:22

Thinking of you x