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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just found my husband with someone else.

748 replies

morewinevicar · 06/06/2011 23:08

I walked straight out, but have nowhere to go. No stuff. My little boy is asleep in the house. I was away on a course but couldn't stand to stay at the rubbish travel lodge for the night so drove for hours and just got home. Andmy husband was on the sofa with a woman. Very blonde but didn't see much else and they were drinking and looked like they'd just jumped apart when they heard the door. I'm shaking. I don't know where to go. My son is in the house. How could he?????

OP posts:
ClaireDeLoon · 07/06/2011 21:18

Just read thread and wanted to add my support vicar. I hope him picking up his stuff wasn't too hard for you and DS and your friend sounds lovely and supportive. Your H is a knob of the highest order. Take care and let us know how you are.

LeChatRouge · 07/06/2011 21:20

I can't imagine how you feel.

This will feel like one of the worst things that could ever happen, ever ever. I promise you that you will get through this and you WILL get to the other side.

Sending you lots of hugs and support.

scottishmummy · 07/06/2011 21:22

collateral evidence get and keep
send for copies of joint bank statements,look for any diff spendings or ATM withdrawal, hotels etc
phone bill and any regular unknown numbers esp time you away

DreamingOfABump · 07/06/2011 21:24

keep strong, hope things went okay tonight x

LeoTheLateBloomer · 07/06/2011 21:29

Hi morewine. I've ben lurking but wanted to offer my support.

It sounds like you're being really strong for your DS. How did it go earlier?

Un-MN to you and a big Wine x

Shellshocked1 · 07/06/2011 21:36

Still thinking of you morewine. He sounds like an utter coward who would rather run away than face what he's done. You sound utterly amazing and I really hope you enjoy the wine. The support here shows you what everyone thinks of you. Best of luck xxx

MadeInChinaBaby · 07/06/2011 21:36

Thinking of you.

SleepyCaz · 07/06/2011 21:37

More support and help here. You're very strong x

ZonkedOut · 07/06/2011 21:38

Just another message of support - I'm so glad you have what sounds like a lovely friend helping you out.

firsttimemum77 · 07/06/2011 21:41

Hope you are okay! Keep strong! You have done amazingly so far!

kansasmum · 07/06/2011 21:44

morewine have been reading this thread all day and just wanted to say so sorry you are facing all this. I have been where you are ( except it was the woman's partner who came and told me- like a bolt from the blue). Your head will be all over the place. I was on a rollercoaster for weeks.

You are doing amazingly well- you really are even if it doesn't feel like it.

So glad you have such a supportive friend.

Hang in there- you will find strength you never knew you had- believe me!!

IHeartKingThistle · 07/06/2011 21:46

Just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through this. You have a lot of supporters here!

RubyGrace17 · 07/06/2011 21:50

I'm so sorry you're going through this :( You are doing amazingly well and you should be so proud of your dignified response to this nightmare.
Stay strong for yourself and your little one, thinking of you.

Ruby

ILoveYouToo · 07/06/2011 21:51

I saw this thread and have read all of your posts. What a fucking horrible situation for you. I hope you have drawn some support from your friend, and all the people on here who are offering their support. I hope you can draw on the love and support of those close to you when you feel able to tell them, too. I hope you (aided by your good friend) can stay strong when your H arrives to collect his stuff. He sounds cold and hard, but presumably he is shocked and deeply ashamed (and therefore defensive and seems uncaring).

Sending you a virtual stiff G&T.

CaveMum · 07/06/2011 21:51

Another one stopping by to say I'm thinking of you. I have no words of advice but if thoughts and prayers can help you through this awful time then I send them all to you.

herethereandeverywhere · 07/06/2011 21:54

Have just read the whole thread. Vicar, I'm so sorry that your [D]H has done this to you. I'm in SW London so not a million miles away and I'm not at work for the next week or two. If you want a distraction I'd happily meet for coffee/bring chocolate(or more practical stuff), or help any way I can. I can also search the internet for anything you may need.

To be hurt this badly by someone so close to you is dreadful. You have my deepest sympathy. Except for securing your money, I'd resist the urge to do too much in at the moment in relation to your relationship. You need time to think and once the shock has worn off for both of you (he's shocked he's been caught) you'll need to talk - whatever the outcome will be.

Be kind to yourself xxx

oooggs · 07/06/2011 21:54

thinking of you & your ds - stay strong

cookielove · 07/06/2011 21:59

Just found this thread and as many before me have said i hope you stay can strong and think of only you and your son in this stressful time.

PrincessJenga · 07/06/2011 22:00

Oh wow. Just read the whole thread. I cannot believe what a prick your H has been and how strong you are. One step at a time, one step at a time. Take care xx

MrsDistinctlyMintyMonetarism · 07/06/2011 22:02

Checking back in from Australia.

He's a very cool customer isn't he. Sad

I'm so glad that you have your friend with you. Have a huge glass of Wine from me.xx

skorpion · 07/06/2011 22:05

Been lurking on the thread all day. Can't say anything that hasn't been said before. Just wanted to add my small voice of support.

iseeyou · 07/06/2011 22:06

hope you are ok!

lalabaloo · 07/06/2011 22:07

Really hope you are okay, you are doing so well! Thinking of you and DS tonight

TotallyLovely · 07/06/2011 22:09

Has he always been this cold? Hope you're ok.

TherapeuticVino · 07/06/2011 22:13

I've been thinking about you all day. Thank goodness for your friend. Hang in there xxx

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