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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My ex driving three year old in front seat of car with active air bags!

98 replies

JOGE · 05/06/2011 12:27

Hi,
My ex took me to court last year for increased contact. FYI (he has always seen his daughter three times a week, this is now every other weekend, tea in the week. Long weekend Spring and week holiday in Summer) He didn't get what he wanted.
A couple of days later he informed me that he was going to start driving our daughter in the front of his old sports car with active airbags.
I was devastated as this is not illegal so I can do nothing to stop him.
I have tried to appeal to him and wrote a letter explaining how dangerous this is, I included many articles from numerous sources with facts to back up my concerns. He has refused to listen.
We are due back in court in a couple of weeks as now wants seven weeks holiday.
I would really like the next contact order to state that he can't drive our daughter in the front seat of a car until she is older.
Am I being unreasonable? All I want is for him to sell his sports car and buy something that is safer for transporting a child.
Any advice would be very welcome.

OP posts:

WidowWadman · 05/06/2011 12:30

If she's in a front facing seat you dont have to deactivate the airbags, I thought?

hocuspontas · 05/06/2011 12:33

Agree. I thought it was only with a rear-facing seat in the front that it was dangerous to have active airbags.

TidyDancer · 05/06/2011 12:34

Yes, that's my perspective as well. But I'm quite prepared to be corrected on the legalities (etc) of this, as my DCs don't travel in the front with anyone, so this has never come up with us.

HauntedLittleLunatic · 05/06/2011 12:36

Front facing seats are not unsafe I'm the same way as rear facing seats.

If there is choice it is better to have airing turned off but if not as long as seat as far back as it will go she is not actually u safe.

Original poster

JOGE · 05/06/2011 12:38

As I said it is not a legal requirement, however air bags are designed for adults and as such can cause serious injury to young children. It is a matter of common sense. The safest place for any passenger in a vehicle is in the back. Why take unnecessary risks.

OP posts:

HauntedLittleLunatic · 05/06/2011 12:38

Sorry predictive text didn't like all of that.

Airing should be AIRBAG and last word should be unsafe.

3littlefrogs · 05/06/2011 12:39

Air bags are very dangerous for children travelling in front seats. I think it is to do with the chemicals used in their manufacture. I now can't remember but I am sure I have read about children being blinded.

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 05/06/2011 12:41

If it's a sports car, are there proper belts/seats in the back? Maybe in this PARTICULAR instance, the safest place is the front?

And since it's legal, I don't think you'll be able to do much tbh.

Tyr · 05/06/2011 12:42

If it's not illegal, there isn't much you can do about it. You can try raising the matter but it may backfire on you. Bottom line is that he is responsible for the child when in his care and unless what he is doing is illegal, you have no more business interfering than he does.

HauntedLittleLunatic · 05/06/2011 12:44

Why sell a car which isn't unsafe?

Are you driving a car with the highest ncap safety rating? Because if you are not you are being a little hypocritical.

It is all relative. Front seat of a sports car generally isn't as safe as back seat. But front seat of his sports car may be safer than back seat of your car depending on the make, model age and how well the seat is actually tethered in each.

3littlefrogs · 05/06/2011 12:44

www.ou.edu/oupd/kidseat.htm

Original poster

JOGE · 05/06/2011 12:44

A one year old girl in America was decapitated! It is the speed and velocity they are deployed that makes them so unsafe.
You are twice as likely to be killed in the front of a car in an accident than if you were seated in the rear.

OP posts:

katvond · 05/06/2011 12:46

Is it just a two seated sports car?

Gster · 05/06/2011 12:47

< prepares for massive flaming >

i drive a sports car, and it only has two seats so dd 2 obviouly sits next to me. No airbags though in my car.

I assume his car only has two seats anyway.

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 05/06/2011 12:48

Yes JOGE, but are there actually seats in the back for your DD to sit in?

IIRC it's the same issue for short people (like me) - I saw a very scary programme on the TV a few years ago, but at least with your DD he can push the seat as far back as possible.

cordyblue · 05/06/2011 12:48

I travel with my three year old in a forward facing carseat in the front on occasion. Just make sure he knows to have the seat as far back as it'll go.

This is clearly not about the tiny risk of airbags - "devastated" is far too strong a word for that. All you've succeeding in doing in reacting so strongly is use your small child as a pawn in the game between you two and deflecting your anger at him wanting more equal time with his own child to you.

And children can love being driven about in sports cars ;-) Mine do, whenever they get the chance.

Original poster

JOGE · 05/06/2011 12:50

I am a responsible parent. And whilst I am fortunate to have a new car with isofix. My children have always been placed in the rear of the car with correct restraints. I am not hypercritical just concerned.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 05/06/2011 12:54

Contact the car manufacturer and ask how far the airbags come out. Then measure the distance with the seat as far back as possible.

This should give you a clear idea on how safe it is.

Gster · 05/06/2011 12:55

Nothing wrong with being concerned.

Where did you get those figures about twice as likely to die in the front out of interest ?

HauntedLittleLunatic · 05/06/2011 12:56

Tbh I agree with cordy, it comes across that you are looking for something you can punish your x with in the same way that he is trying to punish you over access.

No-one is disagreeing that there are safer alternatives but there are also less safe alternatives.

hocuspontas · 05/06/2011 12:58

JOGE, unless you actually choose his next car are you going to be satisfied? Although your dd may be in the back, the safety rating of the new car maybe crap. If it's a hatchback will she be protected from a rear impact? If it's a small car what about the impact from the sides? If it's an old car are the belts in good nick? Can he be trusted to belt her in correctly? I think there will always be something that you are nervous about. I would be too and I don't know what the answer is. Don't push him too much though, you don't want to get into the situation where he hangs onto the sports car just to spite you!

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 05/06/2011 12:58

JOGE - are there seats in the back of the car for her to sit in or is it a two seater sports car?

You are being very controlling and I would advise you to tone it down a bit if it goes to court You sound unreasonable and very rigid and that won't go down well in court.

Original poster

JOGE · 05/06/2011 12:58

Have contacted the manufacturer and they are not able to supply that info. The facts on child safety in car are widely available online I can pull out the exact article if you need me to

OP posts:

Silver1 · 05/06/2011 12:58

Have you told him what to do-or asked if he could deactivate the airbags as you feel she would be safer?

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 05/06/2011 13:00

You and he are using your child as a pawn and you are both manipulating situations in a points scoring exercise.

The pair of you need to wise up and put your daughter first. And that doesn't mean always in the back of the car and only ever with isofix

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