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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that asking a visitor to take of their shoes in my house, is an OK thing to do

449 replies

fluffybutt · 04/06/2011 23:43

I don't have many rules at home, just shoes on if outside and off if you are inside. Just had a friend and her DCs over, and asked them if they would mind taking their shoes off - well apparently thats really rude and made my visitors feel uncomfortable. FFS, it's not like I asked them to walk through an antiseptic food bath or anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
fluffybutt · 04/06/2011 23:44

FOOT, not food !

OP posts:
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 04/06/2011 23:44

You will get a 50-50 on this. I don't think it's unreasonable at all, others do...

begonyabampot · 04/06/2011 23:45

yes, and in many parts of the world it is the norm and frowned upon to enter with shoes - i know which way i prefer. Today my sun got into the car with shit on his shoe - at least it was just the car.

cornsilks · 04/06/2011 23:46

I don't like shoes in the house but I think it's rude to ask guests to take their shoes off - especially adults.

BitOfFun · 04/06/2011 23:46

I predict 324 posts.

Original poster
fluffybutt · 04/06/2011 23:50

I wouldn't be offended, so I guess I presume others wouldn't be. Maybe I will lock all the internal doors and confine shoe wearing guests to the kitchen :o

OP posts:
Original poster
fluffybutt · 04/06/2011 23:51

Really BitOfFun, as many as that. :)

OP posts:
MyCatHasStaff · 04/06/2011 23:51

I've got hard flooring in the hall and kitchen so I'm not bothered, but we have a shoes off rule for carpets. Most people understand that.

snailoon · 04/06/2011 23:53

Can you pretend to be Japanese?

AgentZigzag · 04/06/2011 23:53

Only 324?? Grin

I would say it isn't BU to want someone to take them off, but I'm not sure there's a way of asking without making the visitor feel unwelcome.

That to me would say the onus is on the guest to take them off so the host doesn't have to ask.

idratherbeboarding · 04/06/2011 23:54

YABU. Unless visitors are wearing v spiky heals and you have expensive walnut flooring.

valiumbandwitch · 04/06/2011 23:54

I am sorry but i think it's a bit bossy and a bit unwelcoming. You're the host, and you're telling people to remove their shoes!

i went to a woman's house for coffee and she insisted we take off our shoes. my son didn't want to, and 'to be polite' i made him. he was confused and i really felt like screaming 'oh for fuxache'.

AlfalfaMum · 04/06/2011 23:55

I know a few people who do this, and it does feel very unwelcoming. Sorry

AgentZigzag · 04/06/2011 23:55

Same here MyCat, plus our living room, but I wouldn't ask someone to take them off before they go upstairs.

Original poster
fluffybutt · 04/06/2011 23:55

Pop your shoes off darling, that seems quite welcoming to me

OP posts:
edam · 04/06/2011 23:56

Sorry, but it is rather rude. Can understand it applying to children who are often more interested in anything other than what they've stepped in and are not always reliable about wiping their feet. But it's a rude way to treat adult guests - people you have invited into your home.

A host has a duty to make their guest feel relaxed and comfortable. If you are more worried about your carpet than your guest, you've got your priorities wrong (and are buying your carpets from the wrong shop - they are designed to be trodden on, if they aren't up to normal use you should ask for a refund).

A1980 · 04/06/2011 23:57

Well that's fine by me, your house, your rules and I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me to remove my shoes.

BUT! It is summer and hot at the moment. I have been wearing sandals and bare feet. I picked up verrucas at my gym a couple of years ago and to date I cannot get rid of them. They've spread to both feet and several treatments of liquid nitrogen, salycilic acid and silver nitrate hasn't budged them. I use flip flops at home all the time to now inflict them on others. So bear in mind if you prefer me to go barefoot in your house, imagine waht I'm walking onto your floors Grin But if you don't like sandals who am I to argue.

Ditto people with athletes foot.... it's highly contagious.

Your choice but you may get worse with peoples bare feet on your floors.

LordOfTheFlies · 04/06/2011 23:58

Definately for children.My DCs mates all know we are a shoe-free house.

Where I work has a high asian population and when I do home visits (NHS health) I am often asked to remove shoes or wear covers on them- not I think that i am particularly dirty Blush - it seems to be cultural.I don't get in the least bit offended.I just hope I haven't got the socks with holes in today!

valiumbandwitch · 04/06/2011 23:58

nope. sorry, not welcoming. bossy and it makes me feel.... unclean. also, i like having my shoes on. I only take my shoes off a moment before I get into bed. So to take off my shoes in somebody else's sitting room. It's strange. Kind of like somebody says 'pop off your bra there darling'. Just weird. Don't do it. How precious and delicate is your floor? really!

penguin73 · 04/06/2011 23:58

I'm with the rude brigade - I live in converses when not at work and never wear shoes at home so have fairly manky feet with hard skin, awful toe nails etc etc. I would be mortified to have to expose them to anyone except closest friends and family.

K999 · 04/06/2011 23:59

I think it's rude. It means you think more of your carpets/floors than you do of your visitors. It's one reason I don't buy cream carpets (especially in the hallway). I prefer to have visitors than to admire my immaculate floor coverings, but hey, that's just me.....Smile

Original poster
fluffybutt · 04/06/2011 23:59

Ok, I get your points, but what if you can see that guests shoes are a bit minging, ie. wellies.

OP posts:
valiumbandwitch · 04/06/2011 23:59

lordoftheflies! you've just reminded me, i went to view a house once and we were asked to take off our shoes. Wow it was one sterile featureless house.

valiumbandwitch · 05/06/2011 00:02

wellies in june?

I think if I'm ever asked again I might say 'actually, I'd rather not, I find it really uncomfortable to take off my shoes in somebody else's house." Which it DOES.

K999 · 05/06/2011 00:02

I would never walk into someones house with wellies tbh. I have what's known as "common sense".

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