to think that asking a visitor to take of their shoes in my house, is an OK thing to do

[fluffybutt]

I don't have many rules at home, just shoes on if outside and off if you are inside. Just had a friend and her DCs over, and asked them if they would mind taking their shoes off - well apparently thats really rude and made my visitors feel uncomfortable. FFS, it's not like I asked them to walk through an antiseptic food bath or anything.

From what I can gather its because the queen doesn't remove her shoes. :o

Oh I see. Yet the queen probably only ever wears the same pair for half an hour at a time.

I mean how common to be seen in the same shoes more than once

How long before the whole world is made of plastic and washed with disinfectant every night? Before all windows must be closed as air conditioning is controllable? Before no wildlife or non-food plants are allowed to exist because they are "dirty"? Before a six-times-daily shower is the norm?

"accepted hygiene standards change over the years"

So germs may be brought indoors by shoes. The same germs that we all encounter while shopping, using public transport, at the library, leisure centre or park, at work, at the car park, using vending machines or cashpoints, in fact anywhere where germs may have been somehow transferred.

Celia I hope you are right. I'd love for shoes off to become the accepted way to behave. My house proud grandmother always opted for dark patterned carpet because it 'doesn't show the dirt' at least back then people knew their carpets would get filthy, but now we have this awkward problem where opinions are not just divided but also very fiercely held! Maybe we should develop a code, like if your front door is painted green you're a shoes on household and if it's blue you're shoes off and then people could decide who to visit and what emergency indoor footwear to bring if they don't like communal slippers, but don't hate shoes off people too much to actually go and visit them.

Exactly Slogan and a majority will be on the shoes so why not eradicate the biggest source of germs from being spread all over your home by simply removing them.

The worst is when you have walked through a carpark and someone has obviously used the stairwell as toilet.

Just foul but its only your shoes likely to pick up the germs so best not spread in the home.

It's not so much about germs as being unable to clean a grubby carpet properly.
I mean you wouldn't leave a laminate or tiled floor unwashed for months on end. What's the difference with a carpet?

"Is it not more snobby to ask someone to remove their shoes as it suggests your floors are more important than your guest's comfort?"

Yes this is why asking people to take their shoes off is seen as common by some. Lots (although not all) etiquette about guests, is really about making guests feel welcome and comfortable.

For example there is the famous story (probably an urban myth) of a member of the royal family hosting a dinner party. One of the guests x came from a non European country (can't remember which one).

Anyway they all had small dishes with water and lemon in it to clean their hands while they were eating mussels as the first course. Guest X didn't realise this is what it was for and instead before anyone had used theirs, lifted his up and began to drink from his. The member of the royal family then did the same and the other guests all followed suit - they did this to make guest X feel welcome and not embarassed at his faux pas.

This story gets quoted as an example of good manners and putting your guests comfort ahead of your own. Some therefore would see asking guests to take their shoes off as common because you are putting a small amount of dirt in your house ahead of your guests own comfort.

What do you do with the elderly and disabled, bring a chair to the door so they can cope?

Haven't read the whole thread, but I live somewhere where it's absolutely normal to take your shoes off, in your own home or someone else's (people provide slippers for guests), and it now seems really weird to me to think of keeping them on. There are bits of dog shit / wee / human snot / spit / vomit / wee etc. etc. all over the pavements, and who wants that trod into your house where you've got little ones crawling about?

I'm as lazy and slobby as they get, but really don't want all that crap all over my floors.

I begin to feel positively happy about taking off my shoes. It pales into insignificance with all this talk of 'guest slippers', which is utterly dire. At least leave us without those!

agreed. Its not about protecting my floors or being overly precious but also having lived in a country where it is considered very rude to wear shoes in someone's home (whether you're a granny or not) - it's just something I accept and do automatically. Wonder if some posters spent some time in a place where it was the custom they would change their mind though maybe it helps if it's a hot weather country. Also sure the queen would follow the custom of shoes off if she were entering a mosque or similar.

Oh how lovely! A shoes in the house thread. I love a good shoes in the house thread.

[happy face]

If I spot shoes near the door I may well take mine off. If I know that my host is showing off her brand new cream carpet, ditto. Also if there are religious or very strong cultural reasons. I would respect those.

But if you ask me to remove my shoes because you don't want dirt in your house I will think you very rude and will never ever set foot in your house again. It means your furnishing is more important to you than manners. And if you ask my mother to remove her shoes I will apologise fir the change of plan and leave.

But that would probably suit both of us very well. You would not want me there and I would not wish to be there.

Or.

I will invite you back and invite you to wear these

looks more like an elephant.

As slippers go, I'd rather those than Bart Simpson ones :o

I think Im very rude to myself as I dont even let me wear shoes past the hallway.

I think I should punish my self with penis elephant slippers.

I don't offer anyone slippers! It's the norm here, but I think that's taking things too far. And I couldn't care less about my furnishings - we've got wood floors that are easy to clean - as I said, it's about miscellaneous poo/wee/sick/snot/spit germs that I'd rather not have on my floor where my db is crawling.

Thanks for the update Penny!

Can I ask the shoes-on crowd how many times their babies/toddlers have been hospitalised because of ingesting something off their (apparently poo-ridden) carpets? My 3 dds, all strapping teenagers, = zero times. I think this MUST be an overreaction. At toddler groups/Tumbletots etc adults don't remove their shoes and babies are crawling everywhere. Unless of course things have changed in the last decade and everyone wears slippers

I thought when someone said a few posts ago about crawling babies-don't they go to toddler groups, libraries etc etc and crawl everywhere?

I don't see the need for babies to be in a plastic bubble-not good for immune systems.

When I was still sterilizing everything for PFB the HV laughed and said 'what is the point' when they are crawling around the floor putting all sorts in their mouths?!

Yanbu. Defo shoes off in this house. I really don't understand why people wear outdoor shoes indoors. Who knows what you tread in outside, and anyway why would you want to bring in all that unnecessary dust?

I have found that since moving here (Devon) that 'shoes off' is the norm, presumably because many people have farming backgrounds & are used to slopping about in animal poo outside & it's second nature to kick off shoes when you come indoors. My dch have been trained from a young age to always take off their shoes, and it's rare that I have to remind anyone who comes here. Except DH !!

People put toddlers in trollys. On fireman Sam ride on toys outside supermarkets. On the floor in cafes. On slides and swings...
All of which have been shat on by birds, sat in by other toddlers with piss and shit filled nappies, and dribbles and snot etc etc.
My shoes that I dutifully wipe on your doormat are the least of your worries.

Because you'll have already encountered the germs while you're out and about and gained immunity. No need to avoid germs you've already met before.

"a majority will be on the shoes so why not eradicate the biggest source of germs from being spread all over your home by simply removing them."

Next time your in a public toilet, think about this thread....

I bet you take your shoes off at home!