to think that asking a visitor to take of their shoes in my house, is an OK thing to do

[fluffybutt]

I don't have many rules at home, just shoes on if outside and off if you are inside. Just had a friend and her DCs over, and asked them if they would mind taking their shoes off - well apparently thats really rude and made my visitors feel uncomfortable. FFS, it's not like I asked them to walk through an antiseptic food bath or anything.

If it were wellies I would definately say something, anyone should know you don't wear wellies in the house, that's why you're wearing them!

I don't like it. My comfy trainers whiff a bit and I don't want to inflict them on anyone so I'd rather keep them on.

Yes, common sense K999

Pity you can't buy it at argos, it'd solve a few Christmas pressies for me.

Then dont invite them in - wellies? Really - their purpose is to get filthy.

Common sense would say if it is muddy or the footwear is likely to transfer mud or dirt to the carpet, you would ask someone to take their shoes off. Otherwise, no, you wouldnt.

What difference does it make if someone wants to wear their (clean) shoes in your house.

Do you not have a doormat for people to wipe their feet on as they come in?

I find most children/teenagers/young adults do this automatically anyway. I would not ask/expect visiting adults to remove shoes and I would not be pleased if I was expected to remove mine. At home, my DCs remove theirs as that is what they did as children, but DH and I don't.

When I was little my mum used to glare at me for taking my shoes off in other people's houses. I feel a bit weird doing it now, even when requested to - actually, I feel uncomfortable twice over, first for 'making myself too much at home', and second for apparently tramping filth through my host's carpets. Sometimes, third, for having a hole in my opaques that I only discover once I've got my shoes off.

It's hard work being English.

Recall DD visitind a house where she had to remove shoes and children were not permitted to sit on the settee until it was covered with a blanket.

They'd been on a walk, and thought they would pop in for a cuppa. The wellies weren't muddy, but wellies, shoes, trainers they are out door shoes. Maybe I will get some shoe covers for veruca, atheletes, odourous feet sufferers :o

Seriously though, I hate the thought that I may make a quest feel unwelcome, but I part of me feels that they are being rude to presume that its OK to keep their shoes on in my house.

If I visit anyone who has carpets I always ask if they'd like me to take my shoes off to save them the embarrassment.

I dont have carpets, I did at my last home because they came with it and I swore I wouldn't have them again. Bugger to keep clean, even when they look clean, if you have pets and kids carpets are just too much work!

wildfig, that's it exactly. It used to be so wrong to take off your shoes in somebody else's house.

I'm afraid I ask people to take their shoes off in my house. The front door opens straight onto the living room, and the pavements outside are regularly wall to wall dogshit and vomit. I've had to scrape fox crap off the rugs and sofas before, and that was not nice.
I am getting less anal bothered about it as my dcs get less likely to eat crap off the floor older though.

I keep my shoes on in my own house and my floors are fine.

I am not particularly house proud, so maybe its just the way I was brought up. Its just normal to me to take your shoes off when inside.

Ugh, I hate this. I hate walking round someone else's house in my socks/bare feet.

I offer to, and obviously will do if asked , but hate it.

Groundhog day!

Me too, fluffy. Actually shoes make me uncomfortable. But then I have spready feet. Probably because I hardly ever wear shoes...
When I was a weirdy student, I was commonly to be found walking through central London in bare feet. I'd walk from college to the tube with no shoes on, get on the tube with no shoes on, get off the tube and walk half a mile to my oboe teacher's house with no shoes on, then slip on a pair of velvet pumps at her door so my filthy feet didn't desecrate her cream carpets :)

oh and I encourage folks to keep their shoes on in my house, they might end up with dirty feet otherwise

I too have a verucca and hate being asked to take off my shoes and having to explain why it would be better all round if I didn't. I caught the verucca from taking my shoes off in someone's house.

The other thing is visiting someone when you are wearing trousers which trail horribly if not worn with shoes with even the tiniest of heel. You then have to spend several hours feeling really uncomfortable and badly dressed. You go home with the ends of trousers covered in carpet fluff - and dirty feet and/or verucca from their precious carpets! (Or a nasty injury after treading on a sharp object....I'm sure the blood left a nastier stain than ever a shoe did.)

I have hard floors downstairs and carpets upstairs. I don't even mind muddy boots but I've never yet met anyone who doesn't take off muddy, wet shoes at the door without being asked. I would never dream of asking anyone to do so though.

YABU - I used to write interiors features. Only one homeowner ever asked me to remove my shoes and their house was distinctly average - I had worn my shoes into far smarter homes.

They offered me a minging pair of slip-on slippers to put on - yuk! I value my friends right to wear lovely shoes over my floors, which are for walking on, after all.

There was a thread about this last year and someone linked to an etiquette article in some posh magazine that I can't remember the name of. Apparently it's rude to ask guests to remove shoes because your job is to make them feel completely at ease - removing shoes may make them feel uncomfortable due to feeling under-dressed or something.

I don't ask people to remove shoes but I certainly don't think YABU and I would happily remove shoes if you invited me round yours.

Just don't go offering paper booties or 'visitor slippers' or anything will you...

TheFrogs - oh and I encourage folks to keep their shoes on in my house, they might end up with dirty feet otherwise

yep, that's my house too!

It's rude to ask.

But it is also (less) rude not to take shoes off when you see that no one else has shoes on. But you need to make it obvious by having shoes lying there obviously 'taken off'.

I must add though, picking up on what other people said - the thought of bare feet on my floors gives me the heebie jeebies tbh. So I would definately rather sandals than bare feet.

I think if I was sophisticated enough to have an adult dinner party or some such, I would not expect my guests to take of their shoes, but as I am not and neither are my welliebooted friends, then I do expect them to.

We have hard flooring downstairs so it's not something that bothers me. We do have a rug in the lounge and it pisses me off if my dp walks over it in his muddy shoes. In the summer when there's lots of indoor outdoor trafic, I roll it up

We visit people who have a no shoes policy and don't mind at all. With my friends I know their rules. My feet can be horrible so I come prepared. We have been invited around to other houses and informed beforehand. Better to know before you go out and know what to wear or bring.