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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that asking a visitor to take of their shoes in my house, is an OK thing to do

449 replies

fluffybutt · 04/06/2011 23:43

I don't have many rules at home, just shoes on if outside and off if you are inside. Just had a friend and her DCs over, and asked them if they would mind taking their shoes off - well apparently thats really rude and made my visitors feel uncomfortable. FFS, it's not like I asked them to walk through an antiseptic food bath or anything.

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 05/06/2011 14:10

No, I am so used to this that I find it perfectly normal to take off your shoes when you enter someone's home

megapixels · 05/06/2011 14:12

YANBU. Walking around someone's house with outdoor shoes is so unbelievably . Why would you want to leave traces of dog urine/crap and possibly even human urine/spit etc. on somebody's living spaces where babies crawl and children sit on the floor and play? Ugh. I suppose it's common to be bothered about basic cleanliness Confused.

The poster who said they only take their shoes off when they get into bed, really? Wouldn't your feet be sweaty and smelly if in shoes every waking minute of the day?

exoticfruits · 05/06/2011 14:19

These threads are pointless-no one changes their minds!
I think it is very rude to ask people to take them off.
I pondered on it the other morning when I was at a meeting in someone's house. There were 8 women, 2 had socks the rest had bare feet. We all kept our shoes on, but I couldn't help thinking it would be very odd to sit around in bare feet and where would 14 shoes go, in the very narrow hall?
I would assume that adults would take off muddy shoes.

exoticfruits · 05/06/2011 14:21

Would you want 6 visitors padding about in bare feet? They might have veruccas etc.

SloganLogan · 05/06/2011 14:21

... or northern England.

"it's not really the norm in southern England"

exoticfruits · 05/06/2011 14:22

Its a Hyacinth Bucket type thing-floors are more important than visitors!

hocuspontas · 05/06/2011 14:22

...shedding dead skin and flaky toenail varnish on the carpet. Now THAT is

exoticfruits · 05/06/2011 14:23

Exactly hocuspontas-give me shoes anyday!

SloganLogan · 05/06/2011 14:23

... and sweat, athlete's foot...

hocuspontas · 05/06/2011 14:25
nethunsreject · 05/06/2011 14:26

I hate shoes in the house but would never ask someone to remove their shoes.

CalamityKate · 05/06/2011 14:31

Well.

It depends on the weather, really.

If it's wet outside, I'd take mine off and expect the DC's to do the same. We've got quite pale carpets and even just wet (not muddy) shoes can quite quickly make them grubby.

I wouldn't ask anyone to remove their shoes but I'd think them pretty rude if they didn't at least offer in wet weather.

I always take mine off in other people's houses unless they say "Oh, don't bother".

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 05/06/2011 14:32

I don't wear outdoor shoes in the house but I don't ask people to take them off. Most people coming round for the first time see that I don't have shoes on and say 'Do I take my shoes off?', but my reply is always 'If you want to' because I have cheap-shit floors and carpets anyway am not that bothered about it.

But some people I know do ask visitors to take their shoes off and I think it's fine. I always ask when I go to someone's house for the first time and am not at all offended if the rule is shoes off.

SeasickSteveIsMyBoyfriend · 05/06/2011 14:34

I go barefoot whenever I can. A few of my friends request that shoes are removed which I have no problem with. I keep a pair of gripper socks in my bag for such times. I got a nice pack of two from the £1.

SeasickSteveIsMyBoyfriend · 05/06/2011 14:34

Shop.

ZZZenAgain · 05/06/2011 14:36

I think a lot ofp eople just hate their feet. Find them ugly so hate the idea of taking shoes off and revealing all.

You can have socks in your bag if your friends tend to have shoe-free homes. It is a good idea. I just go by the host. What the host seems to want - shoes on, shoes off, I do and really I don't think twice about it anymore.

PoweredbyTea · 05/06/2011 14:37

There are lots of reasons people might not want to take their shoes off. I've had an injury for ages that makes it very painful to walk barefoot as I need the 'support' of shoes. Or as others have mentioned they may have an infectious problem that they don't want to spread to your house, or be forced to admit to! Or they might just feel underdressed without them as shoes are part of their outfit! I would never ask anyone to take shoes off in my house and I would definitely think it weird if anyone asked me to (except my MIL)!

darleneoconnor · 05/06/2011 14:37

I was at a friend of a friend's house and was shouted at for attempting to go upstairs to the toilet with my shoes on.

I've noticed that this trend usually runs along class lines. WC people IME tend to insist on this more then MC people.

usualsuspect · 05/06/2011 14:38

No way do I want to see other peoples bare feet

so I insist shoes on in my house

and sorry I'm not taking a pair of emergency socks out with me at all times

coffeeinbed · 05/06/2011 14:40

The bit about "visitors socks"?
Was that a joke?
Someone please tell me it was a joke...

ZZZenAgain · 05/06/2011 14:41

actually this ism aking think ofthat thread a while back about some church people who were handing out free flip flops to women staggering out of night clubs in high heels. Those could be in your back. Little foldable indoor flip flops

doofenshmirtz · 05/06/2011 14:43

Why not Usual? How much room would they take up in your bag? I think its a good idea. Most middle class people I know insist on no shoes. As do working class. How absurd to suggest its a class thing. Its a preference thing.

Bumperlicioso · 05/06/2011 14:44

I'm really not bothered about this either way. I only put shoes on in the house myself when my kitchen floor is looking dirtier than my shoes Blush

My 3yo takes her shoes off at any given opportunity. When we leave the library we have to search for her shoes which she has abandoned somewhere Grin

ZZZenAgain · 05/06/2011 14:44

if you were good at arts and crafts, you could have a snazzy collection of little origami slippers for your guests at the door- Then recycle the paper.

I could not manage to even do an origami basic envelope but forthe right person...

usualsuspect · 05/06/2011 14:46

I don't know anyone that insists shoes off

maybe all my friends and family just want to see me and not my feet