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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my kids do not need to be quiet on their holiday?

171 replies

Knackeredmother · 04/06/2011 21:27

we have just arrived in a quite posh resort in Cornwall. It's all lodges with lots of families, with the lodges all quite close together.
Our lodge (as are many others) is semi detatched and each lodge has a terrace with a barbecue.
Lots of kids playing, people chilling on the terraces. My two were on our terrace laughing and screaming and generally being excited about being on holiday. I generally let them stay up late on holiday.
At 9pm the mother from next door came and knocked on our patio door and demanded I keep my kids quiet as she was trying to get her 3 asleep. I must add my husband was lolling around half naked in the living room so all a bit embarrassing.
Anyway, I only half heartedly apologised as I thought we were not making excessive noise, it was only 9pm, lots of other kids out, we are on HOLIDAY and if she needed guaranteed peace she should have rented a detached house somewhere isolated.
So, there is likely to be further issues as our lodges share a terrace and my dc will want to play out there at night up until about 9pm and we will probably want to have a barbecue out there one night.
So, should I keep my kids (and us!) inside after about 8 or tell her she is being unreasonable if another complaint is forthcoming?

OP posts:
fifi25 · 05/06/2011 12:28

Mine would be in a club house at 10pm so its an irrelevent question TBH.

Depends what the park was like and what the restrictions were.

Hullygully · 05/06/2011 12:35

It's a glorified campsite full of kids. She should have gone to a gite up a mountain . YANBU at all.

chicletteeth · 05/06/2011 13:58

Playing out at 9 is fine.
But other than normal children laughter etc., it shouldn't really be much louder and if it is, it should be toned down.

That said, you need to say to this other woman if her kids wake up early, that she needs to try to keep them quiet too.

Kids making at noise at 6am is no more acceptable than them making noise at 9pm

CoffeeDodger · 05/06/2011 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Knackeredmother · 05/06/2011 18:33

Well just to update, I went round to apologize and reassured her we would keep the noise down. She wa very lovely and said she was coming to apologize to us. She said she realized my kids were just playing and that she had heard other children out playing until much later and actually my kids weren't that noisy.
She explained they had had a long drive and she was stressed and was not expecting to be in a joined lodge. She also said her husband had told her she had been very harsh.
Anyway, apologies all round, dc had a lesson on respecting others, middle class holiday harmony restored!

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 05/06/2011 18:35

That's lovely knackered. Enjoy the rest of your holiday!

gapants · 05/06/2011 18:36

Ah I love a happy ending, well done both of you!

I wonder if she is a MN'er Wink

fifi25 · 05/06/2011 18:37

Thats good, have a Fab holiday Smile

Suncottage · 05/06/2011 18:53

Live in our house for a couple of weeks over the summer holidays - I have been reduced to tears with the screaming and shouting that goes on from the early morning until 11.30 at night with the kids at the back of us.

Shutting all doors and windows on a hot sunny day is not my idea of fun.

Not everyone loves the sound of kids screaming and shouting - mix that with parents screaming at them................we are not charmed with the little darlings.

I would never want kids to be kept inside and quiet and there are children opposite us who are out playing and I love hearing them but believe me there is a noise limit that is above tolerable.

ILoveYouToo · 05/06/2011 18:54

From your OP, I thought you were being VU, but your subsequent posts were reasonable and showed a willingness to be told YWBU (pretty unusual!). I don't think that letting kids scream is acceptable at any hour of the day; it's a horrible noise, and I feel that they can have fun without shrieking and screaming.

It sounds, though, that it was a combination of your kids being a bit loud, and the neighbour being a bit noise-sensitive. I agree that you shouldn't go to a holiday park if you're looking for a noise-free holiday. I'm really glad you sorted it out, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday. Smile

lukewarmmama · 05/06/2011 19:37

OP, I haven't changed my mind, yabu.

Because you're clearly far too reasonable to be posting on AIBU Smile

Have a good holiday (hope it's not been as miserable there today as here!).

FowlLanguage · 05/06/2011 19:48

She and you sound very nice. Get the kids into bed early Grin and share a bottle of wine!

Ormirian · 05/06/2011 20:13

Hurrah for nice people being reasonable Grin

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 07/06/2011 10:51

Fifi - what would you do if someone knocked on your chalet/caravan/whatever door and asked you to get your children to be a bit quieter as they were trying to get their kids to sleep/had a headache/whatever?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 07/06/2011 10:52

Asked you politely, of course.

Cat98 · 07/06/2011 11:07

Yanbu. When we were on holiday it was the adults that made all the noise!

pingu2209 · 07/06/2011 11:15

If your children don't go to bed till after 9pm, I assume they get up later too. Sometimes they get up as late as 9 or 10 am.

Children that go to bed earlier - say 7.30ish, are likley to be up at 6.30am. How would you feel if your neighbours children were really loud laughing and screaming on your shared veranda at that time in the morning?

Be careful how you deal with it. If your attitude is "we are on holiday my children can be loud on the shared veranda because they go to bed late on a holiday".

You will have to accept that your neighbours can adopt the same attitude and let their children be loud and scream and laugh on the shared veranda at 7 (or earlier!) in the morning!

AdamJSusan · 07/06/2011 11:18

Keep your screeching brats quiet in the evening.

Lorenz · 07/06/2011 11:24

I'd hate to have a couple of screaming kids next to me when on holiday.

YABU. No need for excessive noise.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 07/06/2011 11:36

Excessive is the key word there, Lorenz. Compromise and communication are the way to go - as happened in the OP's case.

emptyshell · 07/06/2011 11:52

Suncottage we get the same with the neighbours over the back of us... it's like the entire family were installed without any volume control whatsoever (getting ready for school could shatter glass with the noise of shrieking and yelling and swearing it involves). Coupled with the other neighbours out back getting an extension built and my summer is going to involve listening to screams, swearing and footballs banging against the back fence till 11pm and a side order of builders' arse staring me in the face every time I look out of the patio doors... going to be a loooooong summer.

ZZZenAgain · 07/06/2011 15:42

hope you have a nice break

Fifis25StottieCakes · 07/06/2011 16:53

David

I would NOT go on holiday ANYWHERE where my kids had to be quiet before 9PM

Its highly unlikely that i would be in at 9PM for the neighbours to knock

I would not choose a holiday where i had neighbours anyway

I would not be very impressed if anyone DEMANDED i keep my kids quiet.

I would happily say sorry if she said 'i dont know if your aware but my kids are in bed and we can hear your kids' polietly. How would you know your kids are disturbing your neighbours on the 1st day of your holiday. They could have been out or had 10 kids themselves for all the OP knew. They could have been the same as OP and let her kids play out. Everyones not like you and cant tolerate kids playing out on a holiday park at 9pm on a summers night.

Is their anything else you would like to ask me??

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 07/06/2011 17:35

Fifi - I wouldn't be happy if someone 'demanded' I keep my kids quiet - I'm right with you, there. But if someone asked me nicely if the dc could keep the noise down, I'd do my best to do this for them.

And I do understand what you are saying about choosing your holidays to suit you and your family, and that's great - but even if you are just holidaying with family, you might still get asked to keep the kids a bit quieter - for example if another family member had a headache or was utterly shattered for some reason and needed a nap/some peace and quiet before 9pm. Would you keep your children a bit quieter then?

You say you'd say sorry if someone told you politely that you were keeping her children awake - but would you keep them a bit quieter, if asked politely?

I know you think I am going on and on about this - but I don't recall you saying anywhere on this thread that you'd get your children to quieten down a bit if asked politely - I may have missed the post where you said that, or it may be that you have implied it in your posts, and I've missed that - but I find it hard to believe that anyone wouldn't compromise a bit if asked nicely.

needanewname · 07/06/2011 17:45

I love a happy ending!

FWIW I think she was a little unreasonable though I can understand why, however OP your 1st post come across as you being a little unreasonable (all about your holiday - what about hers?) however that is all now moot and everyone is happy.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday - wish I was back in cornwall!

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