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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my kids do not need to be quiet on their holiday?

171 replies

Knackeredmother · 04/06/2011 21:27

we have just arrived in a quite posh resort in Cornwall. It's all lodges with lots of families, with the lodges all quite close together.
Our lodge (as are many others) is semi detatched and each lodge has a terrace with a barbecue.
Lots of kids playing, people chilling on the terraces. My two were on our terrace laughing and screaming and generally being excited about being on holiday. I generally let them stay up late on holiday.
At 9pm the mother from next door came and knocked on our patio door and demanded I keep my kids quiet as she was trying to get her 3 asleep. I must add my husband was lolling around half naked in the living room so all a bit embarrassing.
Anyway, I only half heartedly apologised as I thought we were not making excessive noise, it was only 9pm, lots of other kids out, we are on HOLIDAY and if she needed guaranteed peace she should have rented a detached house somewhere isolated.
So, there is likely to be further issues as our lodges share a terrace and my dc will want to play out there at night up until about 9pm and we will probably want to have a barbecue out there one night.
So, should I keep my kids (and us!) inside after about 8 or tell her she is being unreasonable if another complaint is forthcoming?

OP posts:
bemybebe · 04/06/2011 22:53

I know what you mean expat. I was once trying to sleep to the full blast of techno version "If you are going to San Francisco" on a night stop in a "peaceful" hotel in Cuba. I was soooooo hoping secret police would bloody shut down this outdoor disco and send every bugger to 10-year hard labour, was even ready to call the number myself to report this obnoxious anti-commi propaganda, but did not manage to find the relevant number at 3am.

bruxeur · 04/06/2011 22:53

Which part of "screaming" are you having trouble reading, Kindle?

expatinscotland · 04/06/2011 22:54

Because adults usually use a lower pitch, Kindle.

bemybebe · 04/06/2011 22:56

Because "chatting" is not "screaming", "shouting" or "laughing loudly". Considerate child play is fine by me also. I know plenty of children who manage to play without having to pierce ones ears.

penguin73 · 04/06/2011 22:57

Screaming after 9pm is always unreasonable, but especially if it is upsetting other children/parents who are trying to enjoy their hols too. There is a huge difference between silence and screaming, you need to find the middle ground and stop being so selfish.

catface · 04/06/2011 23:07

scream, shout, run, jump, dance, sing - be alive and celebrate , oh, just dont let anyone see you do it or for goodness sake don't actually make any real noise!
Why don't the rest of you just stay at home with earplugs in and gag your children for good measure.

KindleLexi · 04/06/2011 23:13

She has said they weren't screaming just excitedly playing. I agree with the op that if a quiet bedtime routine is important then you don't book a semi detached lodge. When my dcs were pre school age I was big on routine and put them to bed by 7.30 regardless of where we were, but that would be one of the factors I'd take into consideration when booking the holiday.

If you go camping in a decent site the rule is usually quiet after 10, which is reasonable, but 9 is IMO too early.

bruxeur · 04/06/2011 23:14

Oh fuck, here come the hippies.

I'm with Cartman on hippies.

VivaLeBeaver · 04/06/2011 23:15

Catbumface

DirtyMartini · 04/06/2011 23:18

I don't mind my children. I'd just like to gag other people's.

A1980 · 04/06/2011 23:21

YABVU

Allowing your children to scream and do as they please is unacceptable at any time. You love your kids, no one else does. Why should anyone elses holiday time be disturbed by unruly children? What you're saying is that your holiday is the only one that matters. If your children are old enough to stay up late, they are old enough to understand, appreciate and respect other peoples needs.

penguin73 · 04/06/2011 23:22

9 isn't too early with toddlers...and the OP clearly states screaming initially. What's wrong with teaching DCs that it is possible to have fun and be a little bit considerate at the same time?

MumblingRagDoll · 04/06/2011 23:26

YABU...it's not only the kids bloody holiday! Some adults like a bit of peace on THEIR holiday!

KindleLexi · 04/06/2011 23:30

If you want peace on your holiday or have toddlers then don't book a semi detached lodge with a shared deck. Anyone could be next door.

iscream · 04/06/2011 23:32

Well, it is similar to renting a hotel room, you are supposed to be considerate of others.

penguin73 · 04/06/2011 23:33

But luckily the majority of 'anyones' will be considerate and have some sort of moral code that includes letting children get to sleep at 9pm. How sad that this doesn't apply to everyone.

fifi25 · 04/06/2011 23:35

yanbu - ive got 3 girls who are loud and laugh a lot. There is no way i would bring mine in before 9 on holiday and i would still be up at 7am. As long as its not after 11pm i wouldnt worry Smile

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 04/06/2011 23:51

Why is it unreasonable for people to want the noise dialled down as the evening draws on, fifi and catface? I don't think that children should be utterly silent after 7pm, but why can't they be a bit quieter later on? Like I said earlier, they can still be having fun, but without making life miserable for other people around them.

Yes, your kids have a right to have fun and enjoy themselves - but not at the expense of other people's enjoyment. It's a matter of give and take - being a bit considerate of other people, and not selfishly assuming that your family's fun takes precedence over everyone else's.

To those who are saying that people who want a bit of quiet in the evenings should go somewhere else/not book a semi detatched lodge for their holidays - how would you like it if the boot was on the other foot - if I suggested to you that, if you want your children to be able to make as much noise as they want, at whatever time of day they chose, then you should go and find a remote cottage, so their noise won't be inflicted on anyone else?

That's partly why dh and I used to chose cottages with no near neighbours for our holidays when the dses were little - not that we let them stay up late at night, but it did mean that we didn't have to worry about normal noise during the day (plus we also appreciated the solitude, after living in a big, noisy town - but that's beside the point).

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 04/06/2011 23:53

And fifi - do you imagine that your neighbours enjoy your dds' noise as much as you do - or do you just not care? Your post makes you sound as if you don't give a damn about anyone else - is that really who you are, or how you want to be perceived?

fifi25 · 04/06/2011 23:55

I would say 9pm on holiday is give and take. If you choose a family resort thats what you will get a resort with people staying up later than normal enjoying their holiday.

Cathycat · 04/06/2011 23:57

Some people are easy going about children being noisy and active, some people are not. I am the first type. I know that everyone has the right to a different opinion but I really do think that children are being told to shut up a bit too much nowadays, often in a not very kind way. I'm not really talking about just the op's situation, just something I've noticed a lot of. I actually find that old people tend to be more relaxed about children playing. They look at them fondly, laugh and join in. It is other parents who get worked up about people's children. I just wonder why children cannot be enjoyed. Why do we feel obliged to shut children up, sit them down and keep everywhere nice and tidy? Perhaps this is why there is too much obesity and miserable faces? Hmmmm ... rant over!

fifi25 · 05/06/2011 00:00

Staying - i think op who wants to stay up till 9 has as much right as her neighbour who wants no noise. As i say i think 9pm whilst on holiday is a compromise no..My neighbours are perfectly happy thanks. I live in a terrace in between 2 middleaged couples. One had a family of 4 and the other a family of 3. I get birthday presents and selection boxes for the kids so i dont really think my 3 daughters have annoyed them making family sounds??

mariew1974 · 05/06/2011 00:00

Just remember there's always someone's else's children who are older than yours, say 16, 14, 11, who can always stay up longer than yours who's holiday it is too. Would you like them making that amount of noise when your trying to relax/ get to sleep. It's their holiday too.

bemybebe · 05/06/2011 00:01

fifi - "If you choose a family resort thats what you will get a resort with people staying up later than normal enjoying their holiday."

Not sure what you are trying to describe here, but it is not a "family" resort.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 05/06/2011 00:02

Fifi - as I said earlier, I think that, even in a family resort, by 9pm it is reasonable to reduce the volume quite a bit. Not silent or whispering, but down to a considerably lower level than 6pm, say.

"It's getting later now, girls - time to be a bit quieter. Put away the airhorn and the drum kit, and get out the colouring, please!"

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