Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my kids do not need to be quiet on their holiday?

171 replies

Knackeredmother · 04/06/2011 21:27

we have just arrived in a quite posh resort in Cornwall. It's all lodges with lots of families, with the lodges all quite close together.
Our lodge (as are many others) is semi detatched and each lodge has a terrace with a barbecue.
Lots of kids playing, people chilling on the terraces. My two were on our terrace laughing and screaming and generally being excited about being on holiday. I generally let them stay up late on holiday.
At 9pm the mother from next door came and knocked on our patio door and demanded I keep my kids quiet as she was trying to get her 3 asleep. I must add my husband was lolling around half naked in the living room so all a bit embarrassing.
Anyway, I only half heartedly apologised as I thought we were not making excessive noise, it was only 9pm, lots of other kids out, we are on HOLIDAY and if she needed guaranteed peace she should have rented a detached house somewhere isolated.
So, there is likely to be further issues as our lodges share a terrace and my dc will want to play out there at night up until about 9pm and we will probably want to have a barbecue out there one night.
So, should I keep my kids (and us!) inside after about 8 or tell her she is being unreasonable if another complaint is forthcoming?

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 05/06/2011 00:03

And I don't think it was reasonable for the neighbour to expect no noise from the children - the fair compromise lies somewhere in the middle, fifi.

Soups · 05/06/2011 00:05

We often go camping, + lodge parks, it can be a little tricky to get the rules are for that site, on that night. I don't mean only the written site rules, but what is acceptable on that night. Sometimes everyone will be out late, other times it's 9pm and it's just us!

My eldest has always been a night owl, like myself. The youngest loves his sleep, but has good stamina and can keep going at a steady pace. At 9 and 6 years old they do have the ability to still be happily wide awake at nearly midnight. At 9pm I do have a keep it down rule, no raised voices. 10 pm it's low tones only. 11pm (if they're awake) then it's whispering.

Last weekend we camped at a very small site, with an 11pm curfew, that had a grass area for play. 10pm and it seemed as if most of the kids were out there playing together, very nicely. So I let my usual rules go. If we'd been camped beside a family with tiny ones I'd have insisted on different rules.

Not sure what I'd so in your position, you'd expect bit of give and take - I'm sorry if they made too much noise last night, is there a time frame when your kids are settling down? and it'd be better not to have too much noise in the immediate vicinety of the lodge. By the way we all usually sleep in until 10, but 9 is fine on holidays. Big nice smile. You'll feel guilty after 9pm, (if they're nice normal peeps) they'll feel guilty before 8am Grin

Hope it works out :)

fifi25 · 05/06/2011 00:05

yes thats what ive just said 9pm on holiday is a compromise

bemy what am i trying to describe Confused i havent described anything

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 05/06/2011 00:08

Oops - meant to say that when I referred to neighbours, fifi, I meant neighbours on holiday, as in the OP's situation. I'm glad you get on well with your neighbours where you live, and that everyone seems to be happy with the levels of noise/play. For what it's worth, I like hearing the sound of children playing in their gardens when the weather is good - it's a happy noise for me. But if it was right next door (and holiday homes are going to be more close together and less well sound-insulated), and I was trying to get children to sleep (and maybe knew that they would be little monsters the next day if I didn't manage it) then I might enjoy the sound of next door's children playing quite a lot less!

expatinscotland · 05/06/2011 00:15

'If you want peace on your holiday or have toddlers then don't book a semi detached lodge with a shared deck. Anyone could be next door.'

Yeah, like some completely inconsiderate low life who thinks they can do whatever they want because they're on holiday.

Like SDTG, this is a lot of why we book cottages with no near neighbours or detached caravans or lodges on sites with strict rules.

fifi25 · 05/06/2011 00:18

I couldnt care less what my neighbours think on holiday. I wouldnt go somewhere where the kids had to shut up at 7pm in case they offended somone enjoying themselves. That to me is not a holiday. 9pm seems perfectly reasonable for kids to be playing out on a summer holiday enjoying themselves in the daylight. We get precious little sunshine as it is so i would be quite happy to hear kids enjoying themselves outside instead of being tucked up in doors. We will have to beg to differ.

expatinscotland · 05/06/2011 00:26

Hence, why I prefer chav-free breaks with people who are considerate or even better, no people at all!

snailoon · 05/06/2011 00:28

Kids should be able to sleep with loud laughter next door. Why do parents convince themselves that kids need silence? It is just a matter of what they are used to, like everything else. Get them used to sleeping in many different places--
I think the problem here is the other mother's tone. If she had said: "I'm so sorry, but is there any way you could play more quietly? Hate to bother you, but we're having a hard time with our unreasonable exhausted child, etc. etc" you probably wouldn't have minded. People should be apologetic when they confront neighbours, I think.

fifi25 · 05/06/2011 00:38

so anyone who stays up till 9pm on holiday is a chavtastic, the mind boggles expatin, is this what you are saying.

KoolAidKid · 05/06/2011 00:40

This is what you get for going to a posh resort. Go to Haven and your kids would be barely be heard over everyone else's racket Wink

Cathycat · 05/06/2011 00:40

I agree Snailoon. If you are complaining about manners, you should complain with good manners!

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 05/06/2011 11:01

Fifi - "I couldnt care less what my neighbours think on holiday."

What a nasty, selfish attitude.

And I don't think anyone is saying that children must be shut away by 7pm or can't be outside playing at 9pm. All people are saying is that it is reasonable to expect that, as the evening draws on, the play becomes quieter. Is that so hard to understand?

If you really do not care whether you disturb your neighbours on holiday, then you should book a holiday where you have no neighbours to disturb. It's their holiday just as much as it is yours, and it is unbelievably selfish to say that your kids can do exactly as they want, even if that spoils someone else's hard earned and looked-forward-to holiday. Compromise a bit - be a bit quieter later on in the evening - that's reasonable and decent.

diabolo · 05/06/2011 11:05

I hate listening to other people's noise on holiday, so over the years I have learned where to stay and now hire a villa pretty much in the middle of nowhere.

Other people have a right to enjoy a bit of peace and quiet just as much as you have a right to not want to live like that, but kids screaming at 9 or 10 o clock at night in a semi-detached lodge is not what I would want to listen to.

fifi25 · 05/06/2011 11:10

do the op's neighbour care they are spoiling her holiday no hence if i was on holiday and someone told my kids they couldnt sit on the terrace i wouldnt listen. Believe me i would not go on holiday where my kids could not make a noise at 9pm which i think is reasonable or a resort that had these restrictions. I have never said my kids can do exactly what they want, where have i said this.

Nasty and selfish i am as are people who expect no noise on a summers night at 9pm

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 05/06/2011 11:34

Fifi - I don't think that the OP's neighbours have been reasonable either - not if they have asked for her children to be completely quiet. Like I say, it should be a matter of compromise - it's fine for the OP's kids to be playing outside at 9pm, but it's reasonable to expect them to keep the noise down to a reasonable level.

I think hardly anyone has said that it is reasonable to expect children on holiday to be completely quiet, so I am not sure why you keep referring to it. And equally, I don't think anyone has said they can't be out at that time of night.

Do you, fifi, think that it is reasonable to expect that if children are playing outside later in the evening, that they should keep the noise down a bit? You haven't said so directly, but the impression I get from your posts is that you think it's OK for your children to make as much noise as they want, no matter how late it is. You've certainly never agreed that it is reasonable to keep the noise down as the evening draws on.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 05/06/2011 11:35

'Nasty and selfish' is not caring about anyone's holiday pleasure other than your own, fifi - how else do you expect us to interpret it when you say, "I couldn't care less what my neighbours think on holiday."??

sparkle12mar08 · 05/06/2011 11:36

Goodness some people really are deliberately obtuse aren't they? No one has said they expect no noise, just reduced noise. It's really not difficult for anyone of average intelligence and manners to understand, surely?

Bucharest · 05/06/2011 11:39

Only read OP.

Yes,YABU.

FowlLanguage · 05/06/2011 11:40

I'm going to judge you OP for not wanting to get your preschool age children into bed as soon as possible on the first day of your holiday so you could actually put up your feet and relax with several bottles glasses of wine.

Do you have no sense?! Grin

ZZZenAgain · 05/06/2011 11:43

YABU they can play without screaming down the house next door at 9pm

fifi25 · 05/06/2011 11:59

Goodness some people really are deliberately obtuse aren't they?

'Nasty and selfish' is not caring about anyone's holiday pleasure other than your own,

Did you read my previous post. I WOULD NOT go on holiday somewhere where i would encounter the op's problem so there would be no problem. Nor would i stay in a semi detached lodge with neighbours as i allow my kids to stay up late on holiday.

I am going to Chavtastic park resorts this year and dont expect i will have any problems as i am in a detached caravan.

Last year 27 of us went abroad and took up most of the apartments so as i was in between family so i had no one to complain. I also stayed in my Nanas caravan at Berwick where we know the neighbours.

The year before 20 of us stayed in a private villa so had no neighbours. Then went to Haven and had no problems

OP check the parks rules and maybe ask to move into another lodge. I personally think 9pm is fine and i would not have a problem with it. My 2 year old would sleep regardless if their was noise or not. I certainly would come banging on your patio door demanding you shut your kids up.

fifi25 · 05/06/2011 12:01

*wouldnt

muminthemiddle · 05/06/2011 12:04

I think noisy children, screaming and shouting=perfectly acceptable during the day, say upto 6pm/7pm.
At 9pm the noise level should be significantly reduced. I would say screaming at 9pm=unacceptable. I have no young children to get to sleep but would find it irritating beyond belief to have to listen to screaming at that time.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 05/06/2011 12:18

Fifi - can I ask you again - is it reasonable to expect the volume of the kids' playing to decrease as it gets later into the evening? Or would you be happy for your kids to be screaming as loudly at 10pm as they had been at 6pm?

lynehamrose · 05/06/2011 12:24

Why do children need to scream just because they're on holiday?I would find anyones kids screaming - mine included- bloody irritating. Laughter, sounds of playing - fine, and yes 9 pm on a warm summers evening is quite ok, but screaming- yuck. Who wants to listen to that at any time!
Anyway its probably going to rain for the rest of your holiday now, so your issue of barbecues on the terrace is irrelevant !