To think my kids do not need to be quiet on their holiday?

[Knackeredmother]

we have just arrived in a quite posh resort in Cornwall. It's all lodges with lots of families, with the lodges all quite close together.
Our lodge (as are many others) is semi detatched and each lodge has a terrace with a barbecue.
Lots of kids playing, people chilling on the terraces. My two were on our terrace laughing and screaming and generally being excited about being on holiday. I generally let them stay up late on holiday.
At 9pm the mother from next door came and knocked on our patio door and demanded I keep my kids quiet as she was trying to get her 3 asleep. I must add my husband was lolling around half naked in the living room so all a bit embarrassing.
Anyway, I only half heartedly apologised as I thought we were not making excessive noise, it was only 9pm, lots of other kids out, we are on HOLIDAY and if she needed guaranteed peace she should have rented a detached house somewhere isolated.
So, there is likely to be further issues as our lodges share a terrace and my dc will want to play out there at night up until about 9pm and we will probably want to have a barbecue out there one night.
So, should I keep my kids (and us!) inside after about 8 or tell her she is being unreasonable if another complaint is forthcoming?

you ARE a nice person knackardmum to offer to say sorry to her.

Folk have been a bit hard on you here.

Its clear that you just want to have a stress free nice family holiday thats all. And you want to do whats best for your family and others around you.

I really hope that you do have a lovely time

YABU - fine for kids to stay up late on holiday and I'm sure no one is expecting complete silence (if they are, then I agree they should have gone somewhere else!) but surely there's some middle ground between that and the screaming you describe. By your own logic, if you aren't prepared to consider others, you should have gone somewhere detatched in the middle of nowhere. No need to keep them inside, just make sure they play a bit more quietly in the evenings.

YABcompletelyU.

Well, you were, until you conceded that you would apologise and stop them from making noise after 8.

Snuffletruffle, I completely agree with you
'and then I would blast music at you from 5am which is when my ds gets up...... Why should my holiday be restricted by your dc bedtime?'
That is exactly the point I was making, I wouldn't complain
If her dc are noisy in the morning.
And again I think I used the wrong choice of word in describing it as screaming, but they were quite loud I grant you.
Anyway, my dc have been in since she asked. We have had a talk about why they need to be quiet ( although not sure how much the 18 month old understood) and I have acknowledged IABU.
However, the poor lady now needs to deal with the hot tub party the other side and the kids on bikes laughing and shouting opposite.

dont keep them in, just help them to learn to play with consideration for others. its a good lesson to learn early.

I hope you have a lovely rest of your holiday :)

Knackered - you sound reasonable to me

And since she was so quick to complain - well I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to avoid a comment to her if her children wake you up at the crack of dawn.

As expat said - if you go on holiday to a park like this - well you've got to accept that not everyone has the same bed/wake up time as you.

You shouldn't have said screaming though - as its not unreasonable to hate that.

I actually think the other mother was unreasonable to come and complain on the first night.

You'd respect her right to let her dc get up early but not her right to have some peace and quiet on holiday. How odd. Yes maybe she should have booked a deserted cottage, maybe she can't afford one. Though I bet she wishes she could.

I think people have been very unfair here. I'm in a lodge style place right now (not Cornwall) and I'd be mighty fed up if the people in the next lodge asked us to be quiet. Good weather is a rarity in this country and I want to be able to sit outside, share a meal a few drinks and a chat. My dcs should be allowed to play and laugh (op has already said she didn't actually mean screaming). To me that's part of a holiday and there's no way I'd compromise that. I would have said that we'd try not to be noisy, but that we would be sitting outside.

Kindle, are you the ones having the hot tub party?! Sounds great fun!

KindleLexi you have it in a nutshell, thank you

To avoid future misunderstandings, OP, perhaps try to use words that accurately describe the situation rather then ones that, well, don't?

"AIBU to kick my DH out, he beats me every day and occasionally gets drunk and fists a nun"

Geek Chorus - YANBU!!

"Wait, what I actually meant was he cheats at Scrabble".

No hot tubs here sadly - all Eco and retreat like (but totally fab).

Wow, you sound delightful.

Tell your kids to stop screaming, it's a bloody horrible noise.

Knackeredmother - you may have missed it as the thread whizzed past, but a couple of posters have suggested you take your children away from the chalet tomorrow evening at nine-ish so they can run around and have a good time laughing and playing, and you won't be worrying about your neighbour complaining.

Or you could consider some sort of quieter activity for your kids at that point - some colouring, maybel, or reading a story with them - that would keep the noise down on your side.

Either way your dc could still be outside having fun, but either having noisy fun where it won't disturb other people (beach, or does the site have a playground), or quiet fun outside your chalet.

FWIW - I do think that it's not particularly fair on other people to let your children be noisy later on in the evening. That doesn't mean they have to be indoors, being silent, but it does mean that if you are going to let them stay up late, you should be encouraging them to play more quietly.

Whether screaming, loud laughter or shouting - all are unacceptable at 9pm when other people have little dc trying to sleep. Chatting or playing, whilst keeping the noise volume within normal levels is just fine imho.

That said, I would hate having to go around asking people to keep noise to an acceptable level. That is why I do not do holiday resorts.

It's possible to enjoy oneself outside without screaming. I've even been steaming drunk and stoned at the same time (in the long past) and managed to be considerate of others. It's not hard.

Personally, living in flats, there really isn't any noise that truly disturbs me except loud music/bass. DIY, arguing, loud sex, loud kids, even music-free parties that go on till dawn. Fine and dandy by me. But no loud fucking music.

True, bebe. We find places with no near neighbours mostly. Sick of other peoples' noise as it is.

BTW, I would also find unacceptable kids screaming, laughing loudly or shouting at 7am. Just as obnoxious.

bruxeur

Yabu at 9pm.

Why is the sound of children playing any worse than adults sharing a meal and chatting? 9 isn't that late.