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Original poster

to believe that most feminists are in actual fact giving women a bad name?

360 replies

Casey76 · 04/06/2011 19:38

I, along with most women I imagine are grateful that women fought to give us a vote.....

However I believe that things have gone to far..I hate women who moan and bitch about how they can't have everything!!!!!!!!

No your damn right you can not have everything ...if you go to work full time when your children are young, YOU WILL MISS OUT!!!!!

Why should women have it all???

I believe that most feminists think that they are more worthy of having everything then men and guess what you are wrong...men dont have it all...most men still work full time and still miss out on their children..

Men used to provide for their families...Men used to have a little pride...I don't think that that those women all those years ago wanted things to go this far...where some women see men as useless and think they can do everthing with out them..including having children...fair enough if you split up and you end up a single mum thats one thing but choosing to have a baby alone is just plain selfish....women should not be allowed to use a sperm doner if they are single..

So you feminists who think you are better then men and that you can have everything..YOU ARE WRONG...I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
LineRunner · 04/06/2011 20:55

Oh I get it, we're meant to spot the fast food reference in every fuckwitted post. So I could, for example, rant on about how the stupid locals spoiled my excursion to the Leaning Tower of Pizza by banging on loudly in Italian, yes?

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 04/06/2011 20:56

women should not be allowed to use a sperm doner if they are single..

What else should we be not allowed to do? Drive, drink, buy contraceptives? Can we use a sperm donor only when we are married? What would the husbands say?

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 04/06/2011 20:58

jeez, someone's frustrated. Does not life treat us properly like a princess we are? ooh, diddums. Had to open our own door today and are weighed down with the injustice of the world?

TheFlyingOnion · 04/06/2011 21:01

anyone else wondering where the OP is?

DirtyMartini · 04/06/2011 21:07

Nah. Couldn't care less Grin

queenbathsheba · 04/06/2011 21:10

She's probably fallen down that incredibly deep hole she has dug.

JockTamsonsBairns · 05/06/2011 05:24

How on earth is it possible for any woman to get the definition of feminism so spectacularly wrong Confused

TheBride · 05/06/2011 05:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Chummybud1 · 05/06/2011 08:38

I think feminists gave me more work. Before I would have only taken care of house and kids and my dh would have earned a living, done all maintenance to the house. Now I have to do more than my fair share at home, with the kids, and work, and study as emphasis on woman being qualified, and I have repo help with the gardening, DIY, decorating. Previously I would not have been expected to sit with a bunch of drunk men on a Saturday watching shitty football, now I offend if I dont then offend even more if I dint make the rolls. Wtf yeah the vote was well worth it. Lol

ChristinedePizan · 05/06/2011 08:40

Is this idiots' corner?

Chummybud1 · 05/06/2011 08:44

No the sick of doing everything corner

msrisotto · 05/06/2011 08:48

Chummy FEMINISTS DON'T WANT YOU TO WORK YOURSELF INTO THE GROUND. MEN SHOULD DO THEIR FAIR SHARE FOR GODS SAKE. You clearly Do Not know what feminists want so before you go spouting such shut I suggest you find out what feminist bloody principles are.

snowmama · 05/06/2011 08:49

Wow, seriously get a dictionary and look up definitions for both feminist and feminism.

Goblinchild · 05/06/2011 08:53

Feminism to me is also about making your own choices. So you shouldn't go from housewife and mother to worker, housewife, mother, traditional men's tasks and everything else on top.
I work, as does my OH. So we split the jobs and stuff that needs to happen to keep a house running between us according to preferences, abilities and common sense. As the children got old enough to pitch in, they did.
So the image of you working, DIY-ing, managing children and being forced to watch football after making the snacks just doesn't make sense to me.
Why are you choosing to live like that?

sausagesandmarmelade · 05/06/2011 09:06

WOW...you're brave!!!

No your damn right you can not have everything ...if you go to work full time when your children are young, YOU WILL MISS OUT!!!!!

I would say that most women (in partnerships) go out to work because they have too....and to give their children a better standard of living. I don't think most cannot afford not to work these days.

Children and parents often benefit....so what made you conclude parents miss out? Often a workable arrangement is in place so that the childrens needs are taken care of.

However...I do find some feminists a bit extreme...especially when they are against women being feminine, or doing things for their husbands, or having men open doors for women...that sort of thing!

sunshineandbooks · 05/06/2011 09:16

Feminism is broad-ranging and encompasses several different schools of thought. However, if I was going to sum up feminism for someone who didn't know much about it, I'd say you can sum up in one word: FAIRNESS.

So a feminist would say if you both work, you should share household chores equally, not expect the woman to do it all in addition to work.

I wish I knew why the myth persists that feminists look down on SAHMs. They don't. A feminist would argue that SAH makes a woman very vulnerable certainly (it can remove her financial independence and isolate her socially), but they maintain that it's society's value of child-rearing that needs to change. Child-rearing is one of the most important jobs there is and it is hugely undervalued. We should celebrate it and respect it. When SAH becomes valuable in that sense, more women will be able to do it if that's what they want.

noid · 05/06/2011 09:18

OP - shouldn't you be ironing your children's Sunday best and polishing the kitchen sink ready for tomorrow's Sunday roast?

sunshineandbooks · 05/06/2011 09:22

sausagesandmarmalade - However...I do find some feminists a bit extreme...especially when they are against women being feminine, or doing things for their husbands, or having men open doors for women...that sort of thing!

I'm glad you brought this up. I think you speak for a lot of women actually, but it's because the message has got corrupted.

Feminism (as far as I understand it, anyway), is not against women wearing makeup if that's what they want to do. They are just examining how messages about female beauty have conspired to make women feel that they are somehow less worthy unless they conform to a media-stereotyped view of what is beautiful. Men are not judged like this. I can make these arguments passionately, yet I also wear makeup (not a lot though, as I very lazy Grin).

Also, there is nothing wrong in doing things for your husband. It's nice. As long as he's also making the effort in return for you.

I don't mind having doors opened for me and I open doors for other people too. I don't consider it anything to do with gender and everything to do with courtesy.

WoTmania · 05/06/2011 09:27

'I think feminists gave me more work. Before I would have only taken care of house and kids and my dh would have earned a living, done all maintenance to the house' -
Chummybud - that's crap. Especially if you were on a low income as a household you would have still worked and seen to house and home and children but without all the convient appliances of modern life. Do you relly think the servants in big houses for example were all unmarried young women?

ScroobiousPip · 05/06/2011 09:37

Oh bless you OP. Here's another Biscuit for your next coffee morning. Run along now.

Sunshineandbooks, agree wholeheartedly with your post btw. There's a lot still to be done in the interests of fairness for both women and men.

InmaculadaConcepcion · 05/06/2011 09:42

LOL!!

If the OP was serious critique of feminism I might have felt a bit cross about it. But seeing as it doesn't seem to be talking about either feminism or feminists I decided it was just someone's idea of a joke.

bemybebe · 05/06/2011 09:43

I want to be SAHM now. Before I did want to work and did earn pretty damn good money for that. My family lives on dh's wages now and I am not going to use my life savings because this is what we as a family we decided is right.

I do not give a flying socks what 'traditionalists' or feminists think about my life choices.

Incidentally, my mother had to work when I was a toddler and I hated it. She told me she would have preferred to stay at home also, but she preferred to have her own money, also SAH parenthood was viewed as 'wrong' in her cycle of emancipated friends in the 70s...

bemybebe · 05/06/2011 09:49

"Incidentally, my mother had to work when I was a toddler and I hated it. She told me she would have preferred to stay at home, but she also preferred to have her own money and SAH parenthood was viewed as 'wrong' in her cycle of emancipated friends in the 70s..."

Just to make it clearer. The point is that later on she admitted that she did miss out on her time with my db and I and regretted it because her priorities were to go out and ear more of "her own" money and being financially "independent" from her husband.

sparky246 · 05/06/2011 09:51

good posts Sunshine.
i think it should be easier for single women to use a sperm donar.
proper help from the right resources.
some women are risking it by getting sperm donars via websites.
not only does this leave the women open to deaseases-theres also men that
are telling the[desperate]women that it would be better to have sex with them as its a quicker way of concieving.

[before anyone points it out-yes i know i cant spell]

sunshineandbooks · 05/06/2011 09:57

bemybebe, sounds to me like your mother could have benefitted from nicer friends.

I repeat, feminism DOES NOT see the role of SAHM as lesser than WOHM. It actively campaigns to improve the lot of the SAHM.

And one woman's right choice is another's wrong choice. Some women are forced to WOHM when they'd rather be at home. Some women are forced to SAHM when they'd rather go out to work. Both roles are equally valuable but both come at a cost to women in a way that just doesn't even enter into the consciousness of most men.