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To have a list of things I'd like to see banned?

138 replies

DooinMeCleanin · 04/06/2011 14:29

Half of Mumsnet seem to want cats and dogs banned from pretty much everywhere. They impact on their ability to enjoy their gardens/beaches/parks etc. Lots of things impact on my ability to enjoy public places. I don't understand why people enjoy them and so they must be wrong. The people who do these things must be unhinged in some way. They must be because I don't undertsand them.

Here's my list.

Cars - I'd like to see cars banned. I don't drive. I have never felt the need to. It would make somethings easier, granted, but mainly my car would be parked outside of my house doing nothing. I think it's lazy to take your car when you could walk or cycle. Cars affect my ability to enjoy outdoor space because they make noise. They smell and polute the air. They're dangerous and driven by strangers. Strangers are unpredictable. How I meant to know if they're responsible drivers or if they drunk? I don't, therefore all cars are dangerous and must be banned.

Children and Babies - Children and babies should be banned from most public places. In particular cafes, restaraunts and coffee shops. They impede my ability to enjoy my meal or coffee with the incessant screaming and running about. I don't understand how you can enjoy your coffee with a baby/toddler screaming and running about the place, therefore it must be wrong. The people who do this must be unhinged in some way. I never took mine to these places, it was too much like hard work. And children are unpredictable, you never know if they are going to run into yur table and send your coffee flying. I don't mind responsible parents who ensure their children dn't annoy others, but you don't get many of those, so they should all be banned.

Gum - The noise it makes when people chew it makes me feel ill. It should be banned. I don't undrstand why people enjoy it so it must be wrong.

Cheese and Onion Crisps - The smell makes me want to barf. People who enjoy this flavour of crisps are just plain wrong. They should be banned from public places.

People who wear strong perfumes/aftershaves - It sets off my Asthma. I am allergic to them. The people who do this have no consideration for people with allergies. This also applies to hairspray. I could just walk away, but sometimes they follow me, so they need to be banned.

All birds - I am allergic to them you see. People should not be allowed to feed them as it encourages them to come into people's gardens. They often turn up in my yard just waiting to make me ill. I know other people get pleasure from them, but they make me ill and so need to be stopped. For sake of those with allergies.

Feel free to add to my list. Wouldn't be great if we could all ban things we don't like/don't understand? I doubt there'd be much left to do, but it would be nice, no? Nicer than showing a little tolerence anway Smile

OP posts:
zukiecat · 04/06/2011 16:36

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reelingintheyears · 04/06/2011 16:37

I was going to say men with their shirts as soon as the sun comes out.
Men with long fingernails.
Drunks shouting and swearing on their way home at 2am.
Vanessa Feltz on radio 2.

MollyMurphy · 04/06/2011 16:38

Ormirian I have heard that statistic too. You can tell your son that death by coconut does not strike fear in the heart quite the same way though lol!

I live in a place with lots of bears but nary a body of water large enough for a shark on the horizon still.....they put a pall on my vacation swimming so they should be banned on MollyMurphy world.


cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 16:38

What is a chugger?

FellatioNelson · 04/06/2011 16:38

People who speak over tannoys in really nasal, whiny, patronising faux-posh voices.

Shouty adverts. Commercial radio. Commercial local radio with shouty adverts.

reelingintheyears · 04/06/2011 16:39

Shop assistants who chat with their friends or collegues while serving you...

Finding bad strawberries in the bottom of the punnet.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 16:40

IF you watched a video of a coconut in a tree with the music of Jaws do you think it would conjure up the same fear?

FellatioNelson · 04/06/2011 16:41

reeling she's bloody awful isn't she? She kind of harangues and hectors me awake. I feel bullied by her. Shock

I've defected to R4 completely now, even though it doesn't wake me up as easily. Feltz was the last straw.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 16:42

Yes Reeling and shop assistants who answer the phone instead of attending to me who has patiently waited 15mins to be served instead of staying at home and phoning!

zukiecat · 04/06/2011 16:43

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reelingintheyears · 04/06/2011 16:43

She never lets anyone finish what they are saying and her fake posh accent sends me wild..

She is a bully.

I have to turn her off..

Is Jeremy back next week?

I like Jeremy Vine.

MollyMurphy · 04/06/2011 16:45

In a fight between a shark, a bear and a coconut - who would win?

zukiecat · 04/06/2011 16:46

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cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 16:47

Thank you Zukie, I haven't encountered these but I don't actually ever give anyone the chance to get past "Excuse me Madame", as I am neither the owner of a brothel or inclined to have spare time to listen to twollocks!

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 16:48

Coconut - every time Molly

MollyMurphy · 04/06/2011 16:50

Thats it! Coconuts must also be banned.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 16:51

God, DH watching football on TV (should be banned) and saw word 'App' on advertising hoardings - that fecking word is haunting me!

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 16:52

Could we still have coconut milk though Molly for my Thai curries?

DooinMeCleanin · 04/06/2011 16:52

Coconuts can be banned because they are a pain in the arse to open.

OP posts:
zukiecat · 04/06/2011 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 17:33

Oh, and people on stilts, just to back up what I have said on phobia's thread

foxinsocks · 04/06/2011 17:34

Audioboo is a website where you upload sound files to share but they call them audioboos. Drives me insane, just hate the word.

Would also ban Adrian Chiles from my screen. There's something indescribably irritating about him.

Can't imagine brown skirting boards lol

aldiwhore · 04/06/2011 17:37

There's loads of things that bug me, but I don't think prohibition works so wouldn't want anything 'banned', rather just for people to change all by themselves and me to change too and be a little more tolerant of the things the shudder general public do.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 04/06/2011 17:39

OK, thanks. Agree, it's an irritating word. Also a bit like someone's left the 'k' off 'audiobook' ...

I second banning Adrian Chiles and his permafrown/grump/catsbummouth.

Happyhippychick · 04/06/2011 17:41


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