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To have a list of things I'd like to see banned?

138 replies

DooinMeCleanin · 04/06/2011 14:29

Half of Mumsnet seem to want cats and dogs banned from pretty much everywhere. They impact on their ability to enjoy their gardens/beaches/parks etc. Lots of things impact on my ability to enjoy public places. I don't understand why people enjoy them and so they must be wrong. The people who do these things must be unhinged in some way. They must be because I don't undertsand them.

Here's my list.

Cars - I'd like to see cars banned. I don't drive. I have never felt the need to. It would make somethings easier, granted, but mainly my car would be parked outside of my house doing nothing. I think it's lazy to take your car when you could walk or cycle. Cars affect my ability to enjoy outdoor space because they make noise. They smell and polute the air. They're dangerous and driven by strangers. Strangers are unpredictable. How I meant to know if they're responsible drivers or if they drunk? I don't, therefore all cars are dangerous and must be banned.

Children and Babies - Children and babies should be banned from most public places. In particular cafes, restaraunts and coffee shops. They impede my ability to enjoy my meal or coffee with the incessant screaming and running about. I don't understand how you can enjoy your coffee with a baby/toddler screaming and running about the place, therefore it must be wrong. The people who do this must be unhinged in some way. I never took mine to these places, it was too much like hard work. And children are unpredictable, you never know if they are going to run into yur table and send your coffee flying. I don't mind responsible parents who ensure their children dn't annoy others, but you don't get many of those, so they should all be banned.

Gum - The noise it makes when people chew it makes me feel ill. It should be banned. I don't undrstand why people enjoy it so it must be wrong.

Cheese and Onion Crisps - The smell makes me want to barf. People who enjoy this flavour of crisps are just plain wrong. They should be banned from public places.

People who wear strong perfumes/aftershaves - It sets off my Asthma. I am allergic to them. The people who do this have no consideration for people with allergies. This also applies to hairspray. I could just walk away, but sometimes they follow me, so they need to be banned.

All birds - I am allergic to them you see. People should not be allowed to feed them as it encourages them to come into people's gardens. They often turn up in my yard just waiting to make me ill. I know other people get pleasure from them, but they make me ill and so need to be stopped. For sake of those with allergies.

Feel free to add to my list. Wouldn't be great if we could all ban things we don't like/don't understand? I doubt there'd be much left to do, but it would be nice, no? Nicer than showing a little tolerence anway Smile

OP posts:
Mabelface · 04/06/2011 14:32

I think men who walk round with their hands down their tracksuit trousers should be banned. It's downright lewd and disgusting.

Eating with mouths open should be banned. Gross.

Wearing tracksuits when there is no chance of any physical activity should be banned.

LostInTransmogrification · 04/06/2011 14:33

Just pulling up my chair and filling a bowl with popcorn, please carry on Smile

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 04/06/2011 14:35

Chavs, they should be banned, along with frilly pram covers

DontCallMePeanut · 04/06/2011 14:36

Those crappy toys you get attatched to the front of kids magazines...

DooinMeCleanin · 04/06/2011 14:37

Yes madlizzy and ACT, those things should be banned too and reality TV, especially X-Factor/BGT kind of shows. They are ruining music for people with actual taste.

OP posts:
Abcinthia · 04/06/2011 14:38

Ban those wheelie things. God they annoy me.

Clarabumps · 04/06/2011 14:39

eats lostin's popcorn and pulls up another chair waiting for the bunfight to begin regarding kids in restaurants..:)

acatcalledbob · 04/06/2011 14:41

Elderly people who shop during lunch hours and weekends. FFS you're up at 6am anyway, why are you clogging up M&S food hall at 12.45pm when I'm trying to get through the till with my sarnie?

Psammead · 04/06/2011 14:41


Anyone who is not me, really.

Though it would be lonely.


cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 14:41

Rain on weekends

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 04/06/2011 14:41

And stickers, no bloody point in em

Also people being drunk in the daytime


those irritaing people at the end of our street who keep having barbecues in the churchyard

Goldfish at fairs

Dps cooking



I thank you Wink

LostInTransmogrification · 04/06/2011 14:42

Right, now I'm comfy...

Teenagers who gather round entrances to shops which make it impossible to get in or out without eyeballing/wading through them and their bikes/skateboards etc.

Smokers who also hang around outside buildings ignoring the designated smoking area and flicking their fag ends on the ground.

People who walk extremely slowly and then abruptly stop in front of you. Families who walk five abreast and ignore people me trying to get past.

Boys with half mast jeans, I don't want to see your pants ta very much.
Girls with muffin tops hanging out.
Mutton dressed as lamb
Fat guys in sports wear.

I'm going to Hell, aren't I?

baboos · 04/06/2011 14:43

What about banning YOU from compiling your stupid lists................

babybythesea · 04/06/2011 14:43

Oooh, loving it. I expect I'll come up with loads of things in a drip-feed sort of way - all through the afternoon other things will keep occurring to me.

For now, hmm.
Alcohol - I don't drink and I don't understand people who do. From what I can see drinking makes people unpleasant and unpredictable. And then they might do anything. Far too risky. Ban it.

Cricket - goes on for hours and no-one seems to do anything, except take repeated breaks. I don't understand it and surely if people get too involved and carried away they might get over-excited which makes them unpredicatable and then you don't know what might happen.

Local radio - all those adverts. Someday, there will be a serious car accident because someone is trying to change stations to get away from all those adverts, and they won't be concentrating on the road...unless we've banned cars. But I still don't want all those airwaves zinging around my head - what if they work out how to get those ads into my brain without needing the radio???

Rhubarb - Food of the devil. Makes me feel sick thinking about it, and what if someone next to me in a cafe orders a rhubarb crumble? I might be forced to vomit on them. Safer just to ban it.

By Simon By Cowell - he brought the world Robson and Jerome (among others). This makes me agitated and unpredicatable and you don't know what I might do. And what if that's not his low point and there's worse to come? Too risky. Ban him.

Butterbur · 04/06/2011 14:45

People who lob their rubbish out of car windows. I would line them up and shoot them. Bastards.

Take your fucking rubbish home with you. It won't kill you to share car space with it for a while.

MillyR · 04/06/2011 14:46

Marching bands and majorettes. All sport, but particularly fishermen who sit on riverside paths. Any music event that plays music not to my taste. The farming of pigs. Bald people not wearing hats and thus exposing themselves to the public.

I don't enjoy these things at all, and they create an extremely tiny amount of inconvenience in my life so they should be BANNED.

babybythesea · 04/06/2011 14:46

ACT - I'd like to keep stickers though please. Their function is to keep my toddler quiet for hours and hours. Unless they are those stupid ones that fall off within seconds of my toddler being given one, thus leading to a meltdown. Those, we can ban.

DooinMeCleanin · 04/06/2011 14:47

I only have on list baboos, but I am glad you enjoyed it Wink

Babybythesea, you cannot ban alcohol. I need alcohol to help me cope with all the other things that annoy me. I'm with you on Simon Cowell though and Cricket. While we are at can we ban all sports on TV. They block up the schedule for people who want to watch something entertaining. If you enjoy sports go out play it. Watching it is lazy.

OP posts:
LadyClariceCannockMonty · 04/06/2011 14:49

Cars. Turn their drivers into twats (texting while driving? Running red lights? Driving across zebra crossings when pedestrians are trying to cross? For feck's sake). Also my family who all spend their whole time in cars are getting visibly fatter and more unfit as time marches on. Cars are bad for you.

Screaming kids in public.

Phones in the cinema/theatre.

Idiots talking in the cinema/theatre.

Polly Vernon.

The ridiculous lower-case rule in the Guardian whereby 'Royal Court Theatre' is rendered as 'Royal Court theatre' and 'Home Office' as 'home office' etc.

babybythesea · 04/06/2011 14:52

Dooin - ok, I'll give you alcohol if you let me keep football. Could happily ditch the rest. I don't wish to play because a) I am lazy and b) I am crap at it due to the 'only boys play football, girls must play netball' attitude of my school, but I like it. Because I like it and understand it, it surely doesn't qualify for the list? Maybe we can free up the space for the footie on tv by banning Mr Cowell? Surely ditching him would free up several channels worth of time?

And that's made me think: Crap PE lessons. We can keep some PE - I first came across a trampoline during a school PE lesson and had a wonderful time, so much so that I took up trampolining properly for a while. But most of my PE lessons seemed to involved being cannon fodder for the kids who were good enough to be in a team. And being cold. And humiliated. And unable to do the things I wanted to do (like football) because there was no time in the schedule of things I really hated, like gym.

SarahStratton · 04/06/2011 14:52

Frilly headbands for bald babies. Why? Your DD Has No Hair. Don't draw attention to the fact ffs. Which leads me to -

Frills. All frills. Frills should be annihilated.

Barking dogs. Shut the feckers up ffs.

Radios in the summer. I don't want to hear what you're listening to. Use earplugs or go inside.

Butt crack. No need for an explanation.

Heelies. Especially in supermarkets. Make your damn kid use it's legs properly.

DCs in the shopping part of a trolley. See above. Especially if they are naked. Actually no, if they are naked I don't want to see them anywhere in a supermarket.

NulliusInVerba · 04/06/2011 14:53

Loving this thread. So true about the cat and dog haters.

People who hate animals should be banned from having gardens.

Problem solved :)

onceamai · 04/06/2011 14:54

Mandatory PE
Gratuitous noise
Shouting in public
Eating on public transport
Any one who says "aks"
People who walk along reading texts/surfing internet and bump into me
People who suddenly take a few steps backwards without looking and bump into me
Early morning NHS appointments for those who don't work
Teachers who can't spell or punctuate or correctly label the x and y axes
Taking the entire family to the supermarket on a Saturday morning
People who don't say please and thank you - mostly station staff ime
Graham Kendrick
Overhead projectors in church
flip flops in town
Grumpy Old Women Grin

livetolaugh · 04/06/2011 14:54

I want to ban religion. I want to ban people who go into bars and drink coffee. I want to ban Dr Who and Strictly Come Dancing as well. There is no need for them.

DooinMeCleanin · 04/06/2011 14:56

Okay you can keep Football I'll just get pissed while the footy is on Grin

Sarah, you cannot ban barking dogs, but you can ban dog owners who allow their dogs bark. And dog owners who don't pick up their dogs mess can also be banned.

Frills can be banned. And glitter. It makes too much mess.

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