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To have a list of things I'd like to see banned?

138 replies

DooinMeCleanin · 04/06/2011 14:29

Half of Mumsnet seem to want cats and dogs banned from pretty much everywhere. They impact on their ability to enjoy their gardens/beaches/parks etc. Lots of things impact on my ability to enjoy public places. I don't understand why people enjoy them and so they must be wrong. The people who do these things must be unhinged in some way. They must be because I don't undertsand them.

Here's my list.

Cars - I'd like to see cars banned. I don't drive. I have never felt the need to. It would make somethings easier, granted, but mainly my car would be parked outside of my house doing nothing. I think it's lazy to take your car when you could walk or cycle. Cars affect my ability to enjoy outdoor space because they make noise. They smell and polute the air. They're dangerous and driven by strangers. Strangers are unpredictable. How I meant to know if they're responsible drivers or if they drunk? I don't, therefore all cars are dangerous and must be banned.

Children and Babies - Children and babies should be banned from most public places. In particular cafes, restaraunts and coffee shops. They impede my ability to enjoy my meal or coffee with the incessant screaming and running about. I don't understand how you can enjoy your coffee with a baby/toddler screaming and running about the place, therefore it must be wrong. The people who do this must be unhinged in some way. I never took mine to these places, it was too much like hard work. And children are unpredictable, you never know if they are going to run into yur table and send your coffee flying. I don't mind responsible parents who ensure their children dn't annoy others, but you don't get many of those, so they should all be banned.

Gum - The noise it makes when people chew it makes me feel ill. It should be banned. I don't undrstand why people enjoy it so it must be wrong.

Cheese and Onion Crisps - The smell makes me want to barf. People who enjoy this flavour of crisps are just plain wrong. They should be banned from public places.

People who wear strong perfumes/aftershaves - It sets off my Asthma. I am allergic to them. The people who do this have no consideration for people with allergies. This also applies to hairspray. I could just walk away, but sometimes they follow me, so they need to be banned.

All birds - I am allergic to them you see. People should not be allowed to feed them as it encourages them to come into people's gardens. They often turn up in my yard just waiting to make me ill. I know other people get pleasure from them, but they make me ill and so need to be stopped. For sake of those with allergies.

Feel free to add to my list. Wouldn't be great if we could all ban things we don't like/don't understand? I doubt there'd be much left to do, but it would be nice, no? Nicer than showing a little tolerence anway Smile

OP posts:
takethisonehereforastart · 04/06/2011 17:43

I'd like to ban my neighbours from going inside the house halfway through having a massive row with each other (two sets of neighbours yelling at each other over their dividing fence) and so ruining the only bit of pleasure I was getting from weeding the garden.

reelingintheyears · 04/06/2011 17:52

takethisonehereforastart ..

What was it about?...

I love listening in to a good row..Grin

babybythesea · 04/06/2011 18:02

(May have lost perspective with this one).
Toddlers who go to bed at a decent time but refuse to sleep. Who then wake up ridiculously early. And who then refuse to have an afternoon nap when they clearly desperately need one. And who then are pinging off the walls, massively over-tired, being a nightmare right about, ooohh, now.
(Have retreated into a virtual world in a desperate attempt to escape. And am looking frantically out of the window for the arrival of the cavalry- dh).

LordOfTheFlies · 04/06/2011 18:58

People who don't wear enough clothes in summer-and they are usually the ones who should cover up.And the typical Essex bloke(I live in Essex) who wear shorts and flipflops in the P*ing rain-"It's August so I need to wear shorts"
Tomato seeds-have to scoop them out
Geese/swans/ducks.Hate them.Not scared.Just hate the nasty little feathered monsters.
People who say "I hate Christmas/ or Christmas is too commercialsed" Well some of us love it.I know Christmas is not a good time for alot of people but that doesn't mean you can impact onto mine.
People who put their small children intp front seat of car(unless rear facing baby that you need to keep an eye on) when their is space in the back and it is statistically safer (not to mention the legalities) to have a young child on back seat

herladyship · 04/06/2011 19:19

soap operas and reality tv shows.. i am repeatedly subjected to discussion about them during my lunch break at work and as i am not interested, i think everyone else should accomodate me by not mentioning their existence. in fact ALL tv should be banned, unless it has hot men pretending to be vampires in it, in which case it is totally acceptable Grin

takethisonehereforastart · 04/06/2011 20:11

reelingintheyears from what I could gather it had to do with a birthday card, an unnecessary text from one of the women to the other woman's husband and the fact that one or the other of them has been claiming 'social' for years. There was a lot of name calling and screeching and "how bloody dare you"-ing going on before the doors started slamming and silence reigned again.

shirleyshortcut · 04/06/2011 20:12

ban strikethrough on this bloody forum, its stupid and annoying

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 05/06/2011 18:41

Oh, I love strikethrough on here! So good for comedic effect.

perplexedpirate · 05/06/2011 18:54

Sand-blasting. Want a house that looks new? Buy a new house.

People who stop in the middle of the road to chat with someone on the pavement (though this is of course banned really).

People who say "packet of crisp". Find the time in your hectic schedule for the second s. Same with "You do the math".

Companies that fuck you around and then advise you that their fuckery "is detailed in the terms and conditions".

Please don't ban alcohol. It's how I cope with all the things I want to ban.

HazeltheMcWitch · 05/06/2011 19:08

Not remotely tongue in cheek, but PLEEEEASE can we all stop the bickering, and band together to stop Keeley Hawes from making any more adverts with her stupid, simpering voice? It makes my blood boil like nothing else.

First Boots No.7, now new Millicano coffee. Aaaaarrrrrfffffgggggggghhhhhh.

Mooncoup · 05/06/2011 19:11

Dried fruit
Fucking Gigglebiz
Talking with your mouth full

Ormirian · 05/06/2011 20:44

Who said ban alcohol? Who said that? Ban 'em!

sweetkitty · 05/06/2011 20:51

People with bad BO
Moobs on display, worse still arse crack cleavage
Orange faces
Fake tans where the owners hand look like they have been shovelling shit, and they have a big tide mark round their collars
Dodgy hair extensions
Clothes for dogs

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