To have a list of things I'd like to see banned?

[DooinMeCleanin]

Half of Mumsnet seem to want cats and dogs banned from pretty much everywhere. They impact on their ability to enjoy their gardens/beaches/parks etc. Lots of things impact on my ability to enjoy public places. I don't understand why people enjoy them and so they must be wrong. The people who do these things must be unhinged in some way. They must be because I don't undertsand them.

Here's my list.

Cars - I'd like to see cars banned. I don't drive. I have never felt the need to. It would make somethings easier, granted, but mainly my car would be parked outside of my house doing nothing. I think it's lazy to take your car when you could walk or cycle. Cars affect my ability to enjoy outdoor space because they make noise. They smell and polute the air. They're dangerous and driven by strangers. Strangers are unpredictable. How I meant to know if they're responsible drivers or if they drunk? I don't, therefore all cars are dangerous and must be banned.

Children and Babies - Children and babies should be banned from most public places. In particular cafes, restaraunts and coffee shops. They impede my ability to enjoy my meal or coffee with the incessant screaming and running about. I don't understand how you can enjoy your coffee with a baby/toddler screaming and running about the place, therefore it must be wrong. The people who do this must be unhinged in some way. I never took mine to these places, it was too much like hard work. And children are unpredictable, you never know if they are going to run into yur table and send your coffee flying. I don't mind responsible parents who ensure their children dn't annoy others, but you don't get many of those, so they should all be banned.

Gum - The noise it makes when people chew it makes me feel ill. It should be banned. I don't undrstand why people enjoy it so it must be wrong.

Cheese and Onion Crisps - The smell makes me want to barf. People who enjoy this flavour of crisps are just plain wrong. They should be banned from public places.

People who wear strong perfumes/aftershaves - It sets off my Asthma. I am allergic to them. The people who do this have no consideration for people with allergies. This also applies to hairspray. I could just walk away, but sometimes they follow me, so they need to be banned.

All birds - I am allergic to them you see. People should not be allowed to feed them as it encourages them to come into people's gardens. They often turn up in my yard just waiting to make me ill. I know other people get pleasure from them, but they make me ill and so need to be stopped. For sake of those with allergies.

Feel free to add to my list. Wouldn't be great if we could all ban things we don't like/don't understand? I doubt there'd be much left to do, but it would be nice, no? Nicer than showing a little tolerence anway

[cheekeymonkey]

Long toe nails boak!

[Happyhippychick]

People with bright orange fake tans and little girl clothes with inappropriate slogans such as "wannabe WAG" on them

[babybythesea]

Zukie - don't mean to be officioua but perhaps if you didn't feed your DC cat food you wouln't need to buy so much of it? Try just giving it to the cats...

[cheekeymonkey]

Ditto everything Zukie said

[foxinsocks]

Ants - annoying little fuckers
The word audioboo - whoever invented that word should be hung, drawn and quartered
Hayfever
Idiot male bosses with inferiority complexes
Mess- my dcs and dh seem to generate it. There is not one clean surface in the whole house. Everywhere I look there is a pile of SOMETHING even if it is just crap. Is doing my head in and I'm not even a tidy person.
Oh and the woman who likes my seat on the train in the morning. Ban her. I was there first darling. You get therefirst, you can have it. Otherwise you can f off with your filthy looks.

[foxinsocks]

Should qualify it to say ants in the house
Don't care what they do outside but stop colonising my house. It's far too small for the dcs and all their crap anyway without the ant addition

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

What's an audioboo?

[LetThereBeRock]

As as Glaswegian I'd love to see those bloody marches banned,on both sides. They do nothing but incite hatred and trouble. They were out in force today,in my area.

I'll try to think of something a little more light hearted now.

[cheekeymonkey]

lilos in swimming pools. Loud music around swimming pools.

TV screens in bars.

Pigeons

[cheekeymonkey]

Cockroaches and Daddy Long Legs

[TheFlyingOnion]

Anyone over the age of 70 unless they are the kindly grandma type and can get round a supermarket in under 3 minutes

Playing music loudly in your car with the windows down - tossers

All radio stations except Radio 4, and at a push, Chris Evans on Radio 2

Beer in cans

Smoking everywhere (and I say that as someone trying and failing to give up)

The earnestly religious

People who do not know the basic rules of conversation

People who don't smile at you in the street

All TV

I could keep going all afternoon

[LadyBeagleEyes]

Midges. I live in one of the most beautiful parts of the country, and every summer it's totally ruined by them. Ban,ban, ban
Orange women with extensions.
Anybody that says nom nom nom. I would not only ban the phrase but the people that use it, for ever daring to say it in the first place.

[Ormirian]

Loud music in cars, bars and pubs.

Swaggering youths- the ones who tart themselves up for Saturday night on the town and have a 'hey guess what I've got in my pants' swagger. I usually want to trip them up.

White sports wear worn as every day wear. Most sports wear is cack but White is beyond the pale.

Heads with designs shaved into them.

Big gold jewellery.

Monstrously huge trainers.

Shall I continue?

[cheekeymonkey]

YES Ormirian

[MollyMurphy]

People who jump the queue should be banned and kicked in the arse on the way out.

[Ormirian]

And pop songs that seem to be all about sex and how good the singers are at it and while I'm at it I wish female singers would stop telling everyone they are bad girls which in my day meant not making your bed not liking sex. I am not interested what you get up to with your genitalia and how you do it and which swaggering White sports clothes gold chain swathed yob you choose to do it with! Thankyou.

Can you tell I've been forcefed pop music stations in the car recently?

[MollyMurphy]

Also sharks and bears should be banned to a place where they might only accidentally bite and eat each other.

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

Oh, I quite like om nom nom, although I prefer it written down to said out loud. I like to use it when talking about attractive men.

[Ormirian]

Molly - according to ds2 you are more likely to be killed by a falling coconu than a shark. It's his favourite stat! But living where we do with a fair that visits once a year I guess he might be correct

[FellatioNelson]

I'd like to ban those neanderthal men who take their shirts off in public as soon as the sun comes out, and strut around the high street thinking we are enjoying seeing their armpit hair.

Hair extensions. Especially really bad ones where I can see the join.

Shrill, shrieking, completely hysterical gaggles of 13-15 year old girls. FUCK OFF. You are annoying me.

[FellatioNelson]

Chuggers! How could I foget them? They should all be shot.

[DooinMeCleanin]

After having just ahd to trail all the way to Next for vouchers I'm adding people who must have vouchers for their birthdays to list, especially since she drove past me in her car waving while I was traisping home and waved . The cheek of it, she passes my house to get to her house. To be fair she didn't know I was going home, but that's not the point.

Most insects can be banned, especially moths, but not woodlouse. I am quite fond of woodlouse.