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To have a list of things I'd like to see banned?

138 replies

DooinMeCleanin · 04/06/2011 14:29

Half of Mumsnet seem to want cats and dogs banned from pretty much everywhere. They impact on their ability to enjoy their gardens/beaches/parks etc. Lots of things impact on my ability to enjoy public places. I don't understand why people enjoy them and so they must be wrong. The people who do these things must be unhinged in some way. They must be because I don't undertsand them.

Here's my list.

Cars - I'd like to see cars banned. I don't drive. I have never felt the need to. It would make somethings easier, granted, but mainly my car would be parked outside of my house doing nothing. I think it's lazy to take your car when you could walk or cycle. Cars affect my ability to enjoy outdoor space because they make noise. They smell and polute the air. They're dangerous and driven by strangers. Strangers are unpredictable. How I meant to know if they're responsible drivers or if they drunk? I don't, therefore all cars are dangerous and must be banned.

Children and Babies - Children and babies should be banned from most public places. In particular cafes, restaraunts and coffee shops. They impede my ability to enjoy my meal or coffee with the incessant screaming and running about. I don't understand how you can enjoy your coffee with a baby/toddler screaming and running about the place, therefore it must be wrong. The people who do this must be unhinged in some way. I never took mine to these places, it was too much like hard work. And children are unpredictable, you never know if they are going to run into yur table and send your coffee flying. I don't mind responsible parents who ensure their children dn't annoy others, but you don't get many of those, so they should all be banned.

Gum - The noise it makes when people chew it makes me feel ill. It should be banned. I don't undrstand why people enjoy it so it must be wrong.

Cheese and Onion Crisps - The smell makes me want to barf. People who enjoy this flavour of crisps are just plain wrong. They should be banned from public places.

People who wear strong perfumes/aftershaves - It sets off my Asthma. I am allergic to them. The people who do this have no consideration for people with allergies. This also applies to hairspray. I could just walk away, but sometimes they follow me, so they need to be banned.

All birds - I am allergic to them you see. People should not be allowed to feed them as it encourages them to come into people's gardens. They often turn up in my yard just waiting to make me ill. I know other people get pleasure from them, but they make me ill and so need to be stopped. For sake of those with allergies.

Feel free to add to my list. Wouldn't be great if we could all ban things we don't like/don't understand? I doubt there'd be much left to do, but it would be nice, no? Nicer than showing a little tolerence anway Smile

OP posts:
babybythesea · 04/06/2011 14:57

Mobile phones. I don't take mine out with me to places like the beach because I don't want to hear a phone ringing- I want to enjoy a bit of R&R away from real life. People who assume that they are so very important that the world cannot function without them for a nano-second make me edgy and unpredictable and as I cannot then be responsible for my actions, I suggest we ban the mobiles and the tossers who take them everywhere and disturb the rest of us.

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 04/06/2011 14:57

Hen and stag parties where the attendees insist on wearing pink cowboy hats, boots and matching silly t-shirts. Specifically on the Thursday afternoon flights to Malaga from April - October on which they are inevitably pissed, loud and obnoxious.

Football shirts on anyone over the age of 10 in public UNLESS they absolutely have to wear them when they attend a match.

Wasps. DD3 is allergic to their stings and I can see no specific purpose for them.

People with bad hygiene on public transport.

babybythesea · 04/06/2011 15:01

(Dooin - can I clarify please? In your OP you stated:
Cheese and Onion Crisps - The smell makes me want to barf. People who enjoy this flavour of crisps are just plain wrong. They should be banned from public places.

Does 'they' refer to the crisps or the people? How would you know the crisp preferences of someone unless they had been snacking (obviously if the smell is on their breath you'd know). Do you plan to introduce a crisp taste test before letting someone into a public place coz if so I am here to tell you that YABU - too costly by far and completely impractical. I wish people would think these things through....

BatmanLovesRobin · 04/06/2011 15:02

Please ban Liz Jones.

She is bad for the nation's blood pressure.

DooinMeCleanin · 04/06/2011 15:04

The people who eat cheese and onion crisps should be banned from being in public until they have washed and cleaned their teeth. Although people who enjoy this flavour are just plain weired imo and are probably a danger to others, so we should just shoot them on sight. That'd be cheaper than testing them for smells before allowing them in public.

OP posts:
SarahStratton · 04/06/2011 15:06

I will ban Liz Jones. As long as I can throw Julie Burchill over the cliff with her Grin

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:08

No wasps - no fruit I'm afraid. That is their function.

The rest - fair play

LineRunner · 04/06/2011 15:10

Chris Moyles, the big fat smug bastard.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:12

Anyone walking around in street with no shirt on. Or sweaty people on holiday sitting in restaurants with no top on or bikinis on - I do not want to see your flesh when I am trying to eat.

Thank you

ivykaty44 · 04/06/2011 15:12

fast food

everything else can stay otherwise I wouldn't have anything to blardy moan about

worraliberty · 04/06/2011 15:12

I'll see your cheese n' onion crisps and raise you a pack of Wotsits in the stinky stakes...

PFB parents


Brown tights

People without a sense of humour.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 04/06/2011 15:12

Peperami. There existence bothers me.

SarahStratton · 04/06/2011 15:13

Bees can take over the wasps jobs. Which means wasps can be banned. Useless, lazy, stingy feckers.

Also mosquitoes. WTF was God thinking?

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:13

Anyone who shouts instead of moving their lazy arse and going over to the person they are trying to address

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 04/06/2011 15:13

The word 'their'. Then my post above wouldn't be wrong

ivykaty44 · 04/06/2011 15:13

cheekeymonkey - move to Barcelona where they will be finning anyone in a state of undress as they are sick to death of british tourists taking of there clothes and parading around- so the fines are £265 per unsightly undress

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 04/06/2011 15:14

Ah, now that would be a problem cheekey as we like our fruit. OK - I shall just lock her up during the summer months as that is, at times, a damn fine idea

Adversecamber · 04/06/2011 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:16

With you on the mosquitoes but who is going to tell the bees that they have to take on extra work? Not me that is for sure!

JoanofArgos · 04/06/2011 15:17

People eating bananas or egg sandwiches in communal areas.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:17

"dull coloured cake" Grin

zukiecat · 04/06/2011 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:19

I know Ivy, I love them Catalonians!

I want the job on enforcing fines to chavs with football shirts tied around waist holding cans of special brew!

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 04/06/2011 15:19

SarahStratton yyyyyyyyy to mosquitos. I have just slayed about 3½ million of them this very afternoon. My choice is: all doors shut, aircon on, no mosquitos. All doors open, lovely fresh sunny day, be permanently on 'squito slaying duty.

Yes, the bees can take over and then wasps can be banned.

Ivy I saw some British idiot tourists being fined last summer in Barca. Wonderful moment it was, and I hope that the Andalucian Government adopts the same ruling as I am also sick of seeing bare chested NOT adonis type men walking around supermarkets/streets/anywhere but the beaches.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 04/06/2011 15:20

Hard boiled eggs
Smug slebs such as Sting, James Nesbitt, Alan Shearer
3/4 length trousers

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