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To have a list of things I'd like to see banned?

138 replies

DooinMeCleanin · 04/06/2011 14:29

Half of Mumsnet seem to want cats and dogs banned from pretty much everywhere. They impact on their ability to enjoy their gardens/beaches/parks etc. Lots of things impact on my ability to enjoy public places. I don't understand why people enjoy them and so they must be wrong. The people who do these things must be unhinged in some way. They must be because I don't undertsand them.

Here's my list.

Cars - I'd like to see cars banned. I don't drive. I have never felt the need to. It would make somethings easier, granted, but mainly my car would be parked outside of my house doing nothing. I think it's lazy to take your car when you could walk or cycle. Cars affect my ability to enjoy outdoor space because they make noise. They smell and polute the air. They're dangerous and driven by strangers. Strangers are unpredictable. How I meant to know if they're responsible drivers or if they drunk? I don't, therefore all cars are dangerous and must be banned.

Children and Babies - Children and babies should be banned from most public places. In particular cafes, restaraunts and coffee shops. They impede my ability to enjoy my meal or coffee with the incessant screaming and running about. I don't understand how you can enjoy your coffee with a baby/toddler screaming and running about the place, therefore it must be wrong. The people who do this must be unhinged in some way. I never took mine to these places, it was too much like hard work. And children are unpredictable, you never know if they are going to run into yur table and send your coffee flying. I don't mind responsible parents who ensure their children dn't annoy others, but you don't get many of those, so they should all be banned.

Gum - The noise it makes when people chew it makes me feel ill. It should be banned. I don't undrstand why people enjoy it so it must be wrong.

Cheese and Onion Crisps - The smell makes me want to barf. People who enjoy this flavour of crisps are just plain wrong. They should be banned from public places.

People who wear strong perfumes/aftershaves - It sets off my Asthma. I am allergic to them. The people who do this have no consideration for people with allergies. This also applies to hairspray. I could just walk away, but sometimes they follow me, so they need to be banned.

All birds - I am allergic to them you see. People should not be allowed to feed them as it encourages them to come into people's gardens. They often turn up in my yard just waiting to make me ill. I know other people get pleasure from them, but they make me ill and so need to be stopped. For sake of those with allergies.

Feel free to add to my list. Wouldn't be great if we could all ban things we don't like/don't understand? I doubt there'd be much left to do, but it would be nice, no? Nicer than showing a little tolerence anway Smile

OP posts:
MillyR · 04/06/2011 15:21

The people who mentioned banning fondant fancies and Doctor Who, that is fighting talk...

SarahStratton · 04/06/2011 15:21

I may run for Parliament next time...

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:21

I have a compromise Lockstock. Ban wasps stings! They are the problem.

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 04/06/2011 15:22

I do have a problem with the rhubarb haters though - why? It is just divine!

babybythesea · 04/06/2011 15:23

Dooin - The people who eat cheese and onion crisps should be banned from being in public until they have washed and cleaned their teeth. Although people who enjoy this flavour are just plain weired imo and are probably a danger to others, so we should just shoot them on sight. That'd be cheaper than testing them for smells before allowing them in public.

Hmm, I shall start running for cover. Because of course, dogs would be banned, which means you'd have to come up with another way of conducting smell tests.
However, I will reserve the right to shoot back at anyone who spells 'weird' wrongly....

Snorbs · 04/06/2011 15:23

Those ridiculously huge and unwieldy pushchairs "travel systems" that take up the entire pavement and that seem to be chosen more for one-upmanship than practicality.

Celery. What's the point?

iPhones. "Ooh, my new shiny toy can't render your website properly. Rather than me sending the thing back because it obviously doesn't work right, I want you to write an app just for me!" Not to mention "Ssrry for al teh misSlipenigs i'm usnig An ipohne. Ins/t it grate!!?!"

Flies and wasps. They can all just FRO.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:24

Hot rhubard crumbly crumble and ice-cream is divine!

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:26

The word 'app'. I want to slap DH every time he says it.

SarahStratton · 04/06/2011 15:26

I love rhubarb. Rhubarb fool is also divine.

Beetroot, cucumber and celery can go though. As can outstandingly smelly cheese. You are eating mould strange stinky cheese loving people.

Armi · 04/06/2011 15:27

Drinking on trains - I know, it's exciting for you that you are on a train but it doesn't mean you have to immediately start throwing cans of lager down your neck at 11 o'clock in the morning.

Bellowing -particularly at children - in public. I don't mean shouting to stop a child from stepping off the kerb into the path of an articulated lorry, I mean that sort of consonant-lacking, oafish, swear-word raddled, full volume grunting that some families choose to use to address each other.


Armi · 04/06/2011 15:28

'The word 'app'. I want to slap DH every time he says it.'

And me!

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:28

Yeh, what IS the point of celery?

babybythesea · 04/06/2011 15:28

Folks, the point of banning rhubarb is that the very thought of it propels me slowly towards a vomitous condition. I cannot be held responsible if you continue to discuss it and the result lands in your virtual lap.

Am now debating whether to try and pull my 3/4 length trousers down and pretend I'm just extremely tall, or that I'm really short and they were supposed to be shorts, or whether hiding from the crisps detectives will also keep me safe from KenDodd's trouser police.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:30

How do you know my DH? Grin

BatmanLovesRobin · 04/06/2011 15:31

I'd also like to ban knickers that go up your bum, forcing you to try to retrieve them discreetly in the middle of the High Street.

Nobody needs to see that.

nickelbabe · 04/06/2011 15:32

I thought you had joined us, but am mistaken

you need to join this thread (because you want Graham Kendrick banned....)

babybythesea · 04/06/2011 15:33

Oohh, and Carrie and David's Sodding Pop Shop. Hated it more than Grandpa in My Pocket, even.
Although I haven't seen it for a while so maybe the Universe is demonstrating some small measure of love towards me and has already ditched it.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:35

Acylic nails that make your nails look about half an inch thick. Yuk

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:35

Acrylic even

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:38

Buy one and get one free on perishables. You only need one and the other one will be thrown away. Try half price you ejuts!

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 04/06/2011 15:39

yy to acrylic nails - particularly the squared off ones with appalling versions of a 'French' manicure. How could something that when done properly looks lovely become something so horribly ugly?

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:46

And nail art, very last century.

cheekeymonkey · 04/06/2011 15:47

Cheesecakes with soggy bottoms

zukiecat · 04/06/2011 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babybythesea · 04/06/2011 15:48

Anything with a soggy bottom, really.

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