Why is everyone so mean on mumsnet?

[Orchidskeepdying]

New poster - been lurking for a few weeks. What I've noticed is that everyone is so mean. Parents/women/people come here for advice and they are torn to pieces or spelling critisied.

I feel that you all can be a little bit nicer to each other. People sometimes post to get a different opinion, but we can be nice about how we say things!

Anyway, thanks for listening - i bet someone will say something mean!

[IslaValargeone]

hijack alert I have read various references to a driving thread which I have not seen, and as I have been poised to post about a driving matter, I wondered if someone might be kind enough to point me in the direction of the thread so that I don't make a tit of myself.

[PinotGrigiosKittens]

An interesting thread. I joined in January and it was fairly similiar to my first opinions too. I think I spent too much time in Style&Beauty and AIBU - both have a fair percentage of vipers ready to knock you down a few hundred pegs, whether deserved or not. I think it's silly to deny that people in a fuck off mood don't gravitate to AIBU for a bitch-slinging session. They do! It's PMT central fgs.

That said, OP, the t'other side of MN is funny as feck and supportive - I have had so much support on my kitten thread, I've felt like MNers were holding my hands every step of the way, so I must disagree that MN is mean. No - some are, most aren't. This thread alone - as a little microcosm of MN - proves that. Most have engaged with the debate, some have thrown toys out of the pram.

I hope you stay - to have raised this issue anyway shows you have potential to be a fantastic MNer in the future.

oh and I completely agree some oldies think they own the place and all they do is moan about threads yet I've yet to see one of the boring buggers start a decent one themselves

[TheFlyingOnion]

Tanith some posters are using RTFT.... it's quite helpful

[TheFlyingOnion]

ahh in fact, speak of the devil !

[PinotGrigiosKittens]

Whats RTFT Onion? (Hi! )

[Tanith]

...and so much more direct, TheFlyingOnion - I thank you

[PinotGrigiosKittens]

Oh! yes - ReadTheFuckingThread.

Dope!

[TheFlyingOnion]

pinot I thought you were on the thread where RTFT was first mooted?

Possibly it was rockstock - either way its useful

[TheFlyingOnion]

x post

[PinotGrigiosKittens]

I was I was - I was drowned in so memory is a leetle hazy

Blender blades? Yowzers batman. Not your drinking hand I hope? Serves you right for cooking

[Gooseberrybushes]

I'm pretty nice. If I tell someone to fuck off it's not for nothing. I've done it.. maybe, once, twice? I like sticking up for underdogs but not those who enjoy trying to make others feel stupid.

[Primalscream]

There are definitely a lot more 'straight talkers' on MN lately - the easily offended have a lot more ground to cover that's for sure.
Maybe it's since the Tories came to power?

[PinotGrigiosKittens]

Agree with Gossberry - seen you a few times and always a nice poster. I don't mean nice in the MN "naice" derogatory way either!

V V much agree with primal. Have you namechanged? I'm sure when I started you were someone else? I recognise your style I think

[worraliberty]

Go for it Gooseberry of course I don't mind

[Primalscream]

Pinot - how long have you been on MN?

((I also post under the name of Carminaburana))

[FoofffyShmoofffer]

Meeeee onion I take full and total credit for RTFT!!

Are people using it? Really?

I am beside myself.

OP - take the shite with a pinch of salt. Ignore, ignore.
There is waaay more brilliant witty funny supportive stuff on here if you give it a chance.

[StayingDavidTennantsGirl]

I think YABU for ignoring the other side of mumsnet, where people go above and beyond to provide help, advice and support for other posters. Recently a poster suffered a tragic bereavement, when her 3 year old was diagnosed with a brain tumour and died following surgery. Mumsnetters knitted squares for a blanket, and another mumsnetter sewed it all together, so we could send her and her family something tangible to express our care and concern for them. Two more blankets have been made from extra squares for other mumsnetters who have been bereaved recently too.

Or the mumsnetters who visited another mumsnetter to help her sort out her house when things got on top of her. Or the mumsnetter who sent another mumsnetter a Bagpuss mug, because hers had got broken, and had huge sentimental value for her. Or Valhalla, who often offers advice and practical assistance to mumsnetters with dogs. Or the huge amount of support and caring advice offered on the breast and bottle feeding section, or the bereavement section, or the mental health or special needs sections. There's lots of support and good humoured advice on the weightloss section too.

I could go on, but hopefully you get the picture. Some areas, AIBU especially, can become quite heated and upsetting - but there are many many others where the true nature of mumsnet comes shining through.

[PinotGrigiosKittens]

YY Its Carminaburana! You were on a few threads when I joined (only Jan) and your name resonated as I though it sounded like a cocktail. Or a spanish dish. Ha I thought I 'knew' you under a different name :)

Fooffy it was youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! It was! I 'memba now :)

[TheFlyingOnion]

Fooffs sorry for not remembering exactly who it was.....

But I have used it and I have seen one other use it - slowly slowly catchy monkey!!

[Georgimama]

So many people on MN post such absolute drivel that it's hard to be anything other than direct in response, frankly. One wonders what they are like in everyday life and how they manage to function like grown adults. And I say that even with the entire relationships topic hidden to save my sanity.

AIBU is a particular joy - the number of people who protest 50+ YABUs into a thread that they didn't actually want opinions, they wanted support but posted in AIBU because it has high traffic ... it's unbelievable. Really don't post in AIBU if you don't want someone to say "yes you are". It's quite simple.

[katvond]

Well put it like this OP I prefer this site to the other one. That's too fluffy for me, only so much fluff you can take and as some posters have said there are some greater MNers on here. The Payplan thread was one, I was so glad I was able to help people and give advise. Had some lovely PM from posters about that.

[EvenLessNarkyPuffin]

If your name is in fact true:

Orchids like a warm room that gets plenty of light

They don't like the cold or huge temperature changes so window ledges that get cold at night aren't ideal

They reallly don't like the chlorine in tap water

They like rain water or bottled water, and only a very little at a time

You can buy great pre mixed drip feed tubes where you snap off the cap and plug them into the soil.


Puffin xxx

[weareallchangingnamesforthis]

i am in two threads, one is an asthma support group, nobody is mean there i assure you, they other has been talking since pregnancy and our babies are now 1, bit quiet now, but enormous support in the early months, stay away from aibu and you'll be fine

[MillyR]

I've always assumed that many of the posters are actually drunk rather than mean-spirited.

There are certain things I wouldn't post about. I've just phoned my mother with a whole 'how dare the school put my wonderful DD in a minor part in the school play and then expect her to waste time turning up 3 nights running to do the thing when she is not the star when rightfully she should be!'

Quite a few posters seem to start threads about that sort of thing and then expect MN to agree with them. The only person who will agree with you on that sort of thing is your own mother.

[exoticfruits]

If you genuinely want advice you will get it. If you start AIBU wanting everyone to agree you will be disappointed. If it is a back door way of saying 'aren't I wonderful mummy'-people will say -'actually no'!
Pick your threads and it is fine.