Why is everyone so mean on mumsnet?

[Orchidskeepdying]

New poster - been lurking for a few weeks. What I've noticed is that everyone is so mean. Parents/women/people come here for advice and they are torn to pieces or spelling critisied.

I feel that you all can be a little bit nicer to each other. People sometimes post to get a different opinion, but we can be nice about how we say things!

Anyway, thanks for listening - i bet someone will say something mean!

Boosmummie yes! I remember you! Have some AldiWaitrose gin, m' dear!

Thanks, Pinot Needed that !

Just finished all me ironing, all done ! All colour-co-ordinated in wardrobes, hanging beautifully.

Rock

(hic) Am not a lush. (hic) I am LUSH.

I am a pees-artiste.

I must depart to my bedroom where the dog will fart, the kittens will wake me as stupid o'clock and DH will nick the sheets. Not neccessarily in that order.

Bonne chance mes amies, a biéntot. Or see youz all t'moro in eengleesh

Night, Pinot.

Will be here tomorrow, if only to gloat abart Rafa.

Enjoy !

I got to go to bed too, it's almost one... Actually got myself a busy old day tomorrow

Night, Rock.

Beddie-byes (he he he) for me too.

See you tomorrow !

Dya know what I've only used this when I have totally needed Mums to talk to and I came off it probably about 3 years ago... not coz of mean-ness but ridiculously coz I felt let down. I got into a discussion about how I was not coping with my second child as they were a really hard baby and I had got sooooooo down. I'd been advised by a fellow mumsnetter to go to the doctors as she was in the same boat... I did and ended up on anti depressants. I responded and checked how she was doing, how she'd got on at the docs and felt so sad when she didn't ask or respond to how I'd got on at the docs, coz going and admitting failure was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. Sooooo sad tho but spose at the time I'd relied on it soo much and had told no-one else! MN is like real life... there are lovely caring and loyal people and there will always be people who aren't! Thankfully I've not met mean. Probably now being in a different place.... people who have stresses going on in their lives that mean me relying on a stranger is ridiculously not their priority!!!

Having read the whole thread now I have to say that I'm very disappointed in most of you. Only ONE post deleted? Either some of you are not trying hard enough, MNHQ are asleep at the switch, or one or two people have actually managed to give themselves enough of a kick up the twinkle not to be hitting the report button every three seconds.

Just read the whole thread too.... beginning to think I was right the first time! As a forum Orchid was obviously let down and if the aim of Mumsnet is to help other Mums.... then I spose it failed! But if some of those posts made other mn's feel better about themselves then maybe it worked for them!

"But if some of those posts made other mn's feel better about themselves then maybe it worked for them!"

That might have been the most passive-aggressive post ever written on MN, OlaMamas.

FFS it kicked off again after I had passed out in drunken stupor gone to bed!

Beer, I'm PM'ing you my mobile number so you can call me when things like this happen.

TO go back to the point: Anyone who starts a thread boohooing about how HOWWIBLE everyone is, is bound to have made a tit of him/herself and got rightly called on it. Because you'd have to be an attention-seeking whinyarse to start a thread like this in the first place.

or an attention seeking twat to be so abusive about it

worral: you're hypocritical - you think anonymous abuse is ok if your mates do it - she's hardly likely to think the person she's abusing is "decent" is she

There are some horrible people. Yes. There are also some nice folks.

After being burnt thrice, I took a break and came back with a new attitude, and a new handle. Don't take it personal...that's the new me.

You can't get everyone to like you, same as in RL. Irrespective of what you say post, someone will take it the wrong way and take pops at you - just because they can.

But, I believe that if you are upfront and post honestly without trying to come across as too posh, intelligent, know-it-all, passive-aggressive, entitled , ''woe is me ish'' "show off ish" you will receive good insights / opinions and maybe even make some friends.

MN rocks because compared to RL where you may have one or two people to confide in (or none), there a lot of people on here who have been through same or worse and have invaluable insights. Someone will always have an opinion and its up to you to take it or bin it. If a thread upsets you, walk away and don't get into fights with anyone.

without trying to come across as too posh

Not taking a pop at you lizzy....but...not sure what you mean by this.
If people are genuine...and speak in a certain way...then why would that antagonise?
If they are showing off...well that's another thing.

So often I see reverted snobbishness....
I hate snootiness....but also hate it in reverse.

and if you are genuinely intelligent....some people will take that as you genuinely trying to put others down...or being superior...or a know it all.

You can't really win on here...you can be yourself and others will make their own perceptions I guess (and you can't be responsible for those).

I agree with most of that. The site is called mumsnet;which is a nice name. THAT SHOULD HAVE AN INFLUENCE ON POSTERS. Though I do not it take allsorts. Unlike the Times or the Sun or even the Daily Torygraph

Gabby you rock my world.

oops its called mumsnet, and I'm posting on it, but I'M NOT A MUM!!!

They're not mean. (Not the helpful if acerbic ones) But some are just plain rude.

I think some people just take plain delight in being rude.
Some are very nice and say some lovely helpful and supportive things, but others remarks are shockingly below the belt and unnecessary .
They come across as being extremely ignorant and very uncouth.