to think that women with spanking fetishes and suchlike should be ashamed of themselves?

[saidthespiderwithahorridsmile]

ditto being tied up, rape fantasies etc

what sort of message does this sort of "fantasy" send to the male of the species? That really, deep down, women want to be dominated? That physical control is sexy?

Honestly. Women who indulge in this sort of twisted self-hatred need therapy. And to grow up.

I don't think I could ever be a Dom. I'd probably get completely carried away and actually murderise the bloke.

That's a joke BTW.

I posted in AIBU because I wanted a discussion

which is what is happening here, and I am finding it very thought-provoking and am taking on board the interesting and intelligent responses posted by those who do not agree with me! I do not mind being disagreed with. And my views are not cast in stone, otherwise I wouldn't offer my neck on AIBU

but your posts - particularly the one offering to repeat yourself, and the yawn - are just rude. Nothing to discuss there.

I wouldn't imagine for one minute that the psychology of sexual fantasy is as simple as "you like being spanked therefore you enjoy being repressed by men" or "you like spanking therefore you enjoy repressing women".

I think people are a little more complex than that.

i am an intelligent independent woman. spanking makes my orgasms more intense. end of.

Me too MamazOn. I certainly don't believe that anyone has the right to tell me what I can and can't enjoy in bed. In fact DH has refused to go to some extremes which I would like but he isn't comfortable with...no big deal, it's between us in a very loving and respectful relationship.

So OP, you believe that women who enjoy a little spanky fun are twisted, immature, self-haters in need of professional help. Tell me what are you basing this extreme belief on? What studies have you done/read?

Yes I'm interested to hear the OPs opinion on men who like to be dominated in the bedroom by women? (Genuinely)

Actually I do think it is a discussion worth having but not one which starts off talking about "women should be ashamed" .

Some women do this because they think it is the "done" thing because they have spent a lifetime being dominated by men .
Some women do it because they find it a good experience being dominated because they find the idea of someone else taking control for once a turn on
Some other women just like the whole idea of being spanked and dominated and it gets them going

I am sure I could go on but it would be too long a list .

The whole "women should be ashamed " thing was a bad idea IMHO

OMG just hoist your tweed knickers up a bit more there OP...they're getting caught in your twin set and pearls.....

Only a complete idiot would think that what one person/couple enjoys in the privacy of their relationship, would lead men to think it applies to everyone.

Agree with threadworm - take pretty much any aspect of female sexuality and someone will say it's just for men's gratification. I suppose the only PC thing to do would be for all women to become completely asexual and use turkey basters for procreation.

yes ok ashamed was a rather provocative word to use

but how else should I put it? I think women should be aware that their "harmless fun" has a negative impact on the cultural perception of women as a whole? Cos that is what I am suggesting.

spider So rather than challenge that cultural perception women should stop doing things they enjoy?

I have to say, there is a certain Mayor of London who regularly features in my fantasy ..... being spanked with a hard bristle hair brush ....then rubbed in baby oil and rolled in those teeny marshmallows, then I nibble them all off

ooh I've gone all un neccessary just thinking about it.

Actually OP I'm still wondering what you make of men who like to be dominated, as per my first post?

OP
people can change as well, over time.

I went through a ten year phase when the most exciting thing in my life was to get my teats battered with a riding crop.
now the idea horrifies me, and the most exciting thing in my life is to bake some garlic bread

hey ho

Ria I don't know. I think, at the moment, that women enjoy these things because as girls we have been traumatised and corrupted by a media-driven upbringing which screams "women are inferior and any woman who makes a success of herself really just wants a slap and a good rogering from a real man"

Then, to repeat other posters, why do some men like it?

next time I am drifting off into a pleasant fantasy after a hard day at the coalface, I shall try and remember the "negative impact on the cultural perception of women as a whole" and stop IMMEDIATELY.

Might be a bit of a turn off though?

I think some men can only see women as mothers, for reasons of their own arrested development

it is just a different variant of objectification IMO

haha bolks.
I enjoyed getting pummelled by dykes.

not now though. maybe ive been cured

What I fantasise about is MY business and does not cross over into RL.

No doubt I would be horried if in RL I really was kidnapped and forced to be the sex slave of Barack Obama and Denzel Washington.

It doesn't ACTUALLY mean I want to be raped OP!

but what about the men, OP who like to be dominated?

(sorry if I have repeated myself )

I have answered that point twice!

OK, then what about gay/lesbian people?