To think that you don't just drop your child off at hospital then FUCK OFF OUT!

[KnowItAllMummy]

Exactly what title says!

I found out someone I know's son got poorly and got taken into hospital, she got him there in the early hours of the morning and then got the earliest train to go out to a festival! W.T.F??

Am I being unreasonable to think she is a bad mum?

Sounds like she is having a very difficult time. Doesnt make her a bad mum, just someone struggling to cope.

Rainbow.. like I said, if he had been in hospital for a long time again I would be able to understand, but to literally drop him off and then fuck off a few hours later, leaving him sleeping to wake up alone?
:(

I have a child with kidney problems, hes been in and out of hospital all of his life.

Longest stretch do far has been 5 months.

Neither me or DP left him once! We both lived at the hospital with him whenever he is in.

People leave their babies/toddlers/children. None of my business but I find it hard not to judge them.

I am a parent, I do not abandon him especially when he is poorly.

This woman needs a kick up the arse, if frustrates me beyond belief that she has gone trotting about looking at shitty cars instead of being with her son.

Well said Disasterpiece, I completely agree. I wish she would wake up before this child gets taken away from her!

But to do that must mean she's not in a good place mentally.

Sharbie is right. They do allow parents to leave them.

I have wandered round the ward on many a night and seen the nurses cuddling babies and feeding them/settling them etc.

so horrid it upsets me to think of it honestly, get the whole she may need a break thing but the baby needs a carer, you cant tell me that it was that important to go to a car show and that it allowed her to not have the child in care
i have been fortunate enough to have never experienced this but im certain a fair few who's children have been in this situation would say they wouldnt want to be anywhere else
not sure what the men have to do with it OP

Oh rainbow, you are being annoyingly reasonable.

Yes, we do need more information about this woman's life circumstances, you're right.

What I dont get is if a man behaves like this they need to step up and act like a proper father- when its a mother people say 'ahh shes probably not coping'

Rainbow Nobody with a child with along term illness is in a good place mentally when their child is in hospital. Again.

Its no excuse for leaving them to go to a bloody car show.

Home for a few hours during the day to get more clothes, child's favourite toys, toiletries etc all acceptable. A car show is not in my opinion.

Bimbo People assume fathers have no emotional attachment to their own child sometimes. DP was always told "aww, go home, get some rest, his mum is here"

Its not just mums that are important though is it.

We all stuck together, the three of us.

It is so sad.

I remember a mother who dumped a handful of her children into a cot where her baby was being close barrier nursed for salmonella on our ward.
She went off for the day as she knew her children would be looked after.
All the children became sick.

I've seen desperate parents with very ill children. No knowing how any of us would act. Great to be the type who is manages, not sure I could, especially if the father has buggered off. No, wouldnt make me a good parent.

Of course she's not coping. If she were, she'd be in the hospital.

disasterpiece you sound how i would hope to act in the same situation, very strong family unit :)

How do you think people cope when their child is on life support and they are being told they may die?

I bloody well wasnt coping then but stuck by him like glue!

GentleOtter There was once a child on our ward with MRSA, not a big deal unless another mother leaves her older children with her sick child for the day! doesnt tell anyone and they wander in to the MRSA infected room.

Lots of infected children!

wandering mothers fault!

I have seen this kind of things when DD was in hospital. It does happen.

Pregolalola Thankyou that is very nice although I think the word terrified rings truer than strong in those situations.

OP can you speak to this woman?

It does annoy me that if a father had done the same thing he would not get one little bit of sympathy on here but if a mother does it, well it must be because she's she's in need of some respite, is in a bad place emotionally. I'm sure the child's needs should come before the mother's when he's ill.

I don't know the whole story but I have decided that she is a disgrace and will continue to do so until it is proived otherwise. There is no excuse to dump a child and go to a car show.

It sounds horrendous and you managed to stay by his side. Doesnt mean all parents manage to. People handle things in different ways. It's hardly the sign of someone who is coping who drops their poorly child off in hospital in the early hours and goes out.

See, she's judged as a disgrace when admittedly the whole story isnt known. Very sad. .

Well trotting round a bloody car show doesnt sound like she is at home worrying and fretting over her baby does it?

TO me it looks as if she couldnt give a fuck and is prioritising herself over her son.

Not sure where I've said the father should be judged differently and I seem to be the only voice of dissent.

why is the mum get the bad stuff

the father was on holiday!!!!!!

I hesitate to judge but sorry - cant help it.

Never left DD once, not ever. Nothing else was important enough. Certainly not a hobby show.

I am not saying its easy though. Specially if you are on your own. I wasnt but lots of parents on the ward were. I dont know how they did it. But they did.

The staff cant stop her going off. you dont have to stay. I do think concerns would be raised if she did this regularly. I would expect her to be referred to the social work team so they could check she was getting enough support.

It is very very hard to have a sick child. It is incredibly stressful and takes over your whole life. Thats why I do try and understand parents who do what the OP says (although we cant know the whole story). Going home for a shower and a night in your own bed is one thing, going to a festival is something else.

I wouldnt have done it.