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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suggest that my sister could cover boobs with a scarf....

493 replies

chocolatehobnobs · 31/05/2011 22:13

Sister has 2 DC 2 and 5 months. I am pg. She reckons she is the world expert on child rearing, never afraid to comment on other's parenting. We went for lunch at the weekend at Wagamama's. Staff were lovely and helpful offered highchair etc sis was vocally demanding a certain table and being a bit precious IMO. We were sitting next to 6 young guys (same table) Sis whips boob out and BF baby. I (and our neigbours who were eating) could see boob, dripping nipple. When she announced loudly that baby had bitten nipple I offered to pass her a scarf to save the boys blushes. She refused and said she was often complimented on being a good role model for BF. AIBU to want to do things differently or is she right?

OP posts:
Pendeen · 04/06/2011 23:21

"Good role model"?

Is she making that up?

happy4eva · 04/06/2011 23:21

I just do not know any mums or actually see any mums who do/did that was why i asked :)

RitaMorgan · 04/06/2011 23:23

If a child wants to breastfeed then a cup isn't going to cut it Grin

Some women struggle to express anyway.

Noellefielding · 04/06/2011 23:26

haven't read whole thread but I think, each to her own and also many of us go mad for a few years when we have kids and get all strident and snooty about being right about everthing.
In the long run, who cares, so some lads got and eyeful.
I happen to think it's probably a healthy counter weight to the plastic tatties they see all the time in a sex only context.
At least aggressively public bf, while not something I did (I tended to the discreet bfing) I still value the re education of our nation in its estimation of the prime function of the breast.

happy4eva · 04/06/2011 23:26

lol o so you meaning for a securtiy thing then kinda not just for the extra health value?
Im not trying to be horrible or anything im just wondering?

Deuce · 04/06/2011 23:29

Bleugh and shudder.

RitaMorgan · 04/06/2011 23:31

happy, 2 year olds will normally be eating a varied diet so would survive without milk, though obviously milk is good for them! But yes, breastfeeding is comfort/security/closeness for a toddler as well as just milk.

ScroobiousPip · 05/06/2011 09:26

Hi happy, yes, still common and perfectly normal for toddlers to be bfd. Not as common in England sadly, but if you go overseas you'll see children of 2/3/4/5 and older still being openly bfd. That's the biological norm - where we in the west have got to, in contrast, is a pretty sad state of affairs (not criticising you, but society generally) and not one which, imo, is best for children. The World Health Organisation recommends bfing to 2 and beyond.

PlentyOfPrimroses · 05/06/2011 09:34

for OP, SunnyDelight and TeenyTiny

nannyl · 05/06/2011 09:44

YABU

I will breast feed my child where ever I / baby happens to be.
If anyone had a problem with my baby consuming their food / drink (aka breast milk) in a cafe it is their problem, (not mine or my babies! and no i will NOT be going into a toilet to feed, ever, even if facitlies are provided within a toilet environment)

(though i dont intend to walk around topless etc!!!).... IMO its is easy to discreetly breast feed, and when baby is actually feeding you cant see very much boob anyway... and when baby is finished boob will go away.

For those few moments in-between when baby is latching on / being removed from breast, then if people see, they see; if they have a problem, the problem is theirs..... and if they make any comment directly to me i will reply and tell them that!

5DollarShake · 05/06/2011 09:53

Well said, nannyl :)

happy4eva · 05/06/2011 12:26

:) it is very low key in uk then
MW to me said best to breast feed until 6 months then give from a cup where possible to help with attachment promblems.

But the reason i think maybe because baby was just screaming for the breast with me and not really taking her full as i would let her on and then she would suck for about a 1 min and fall alseep so maybe that was why i was told to dont know though but mw thought she did not really need it any more as on a full balanced diet :)

RitaMorgan · 05/06/2011 12:36

I think maybe the MW was a bit confused, as babies still need milk at 6 months (and most people still give their 2 year olds milk too) even if they are eating a balanced diet, but human milk is better for them than cow's milk.

However, cow's milk and formula is a good alternative if you can't give breastmilk for any reason.

Bottle fed babies are recommended to move to a cup because bottles are bad for their teeth.

ohnoudidnt · 05/06/2011 12:42

It would put me off my lunch.Sorry! but I would have to move tables if I saw anyone bf.

happy4eva · 05/06/2011 12:51

Yeah i know she did still need her milk it was mw was saying she did not need the comfort and if it was in a cup i could see how much she needed and was taking .. I think it was just because i was worried that she was not actually taking any as all she would do is fall to sleep :)

Cosmosis · 05/06/2011 12:54

Why would she not need the comfort? how odd. all humans need comfort of some sort and bf provides nutrition as well, so double bonus.

ohnoudidnt I'd be perfectly happy for you to move tables, it's your issue not mine.

ohnoudidnt · 05/06/2011 12:57

Cosmosis Maybe my issue,but you bf would be the cause of that.

RitaMorgan · 05/06/2011 13:02

Babies always need comfort happy.

Your midwife might have had a good medical reason to recommend formula, or she might not - obviously we can't tell now.

Cosmosis · 05/06/2011 13:02

like I said, your problem not mine. I have no idea why a baby having food would make you feel like that, but as long as you don't tell me to move, that's fine with me.

RitaMorgan · 05/06/2011 13:03

ohnoudidnt - Just like "I don't like disabled people. If one sat next to me I'd have to move - maybe my issue but them being there would have caused it".

Bumperlicioso · 05/06/2011 14:01

'lol o so you meaning for a securtiy thing then kinda not just for the extra health value?' I feel the same about a bar of Galaxy. I'm afraid a salad just doesn't cut it in the comfort department for me!

happy4eva · 05/06/2011 19:39

i understand that but like all comfort dummies bottles blankets ect you are told to get them weaned of them so surely if it was just for comfort like anything else should start to gradually go.

TimeWasting · 05/06/2011 20:00

They do actually need the milk in their diet at 2 though.

RitaMorgan · 05/06/2011 20:06

I does gradually go though - how many 8 year olds are there that still breastfed Grin

I don't see what the huge rush is to take comfort away from babies and toddlers, especially as they need milk and it is good for them.

PlentyOfPrimroses · 05/06/2011 20:07

I think 6 months is a little young to be discouraging the use of comfort objects.

I BF both mine til they were 2. DD spontaneously weaned herself the day we upgraded to a colour telly. DS got into an annoying stage where he'd wander over to me, get a boob out, take one suck then wander off again leaving me exposed, so one day I just told him it was 'all gone' He didn't seem damaged by this though, he just said 'oh, ok' and never asked again, so he was obviously ready. They're 19 and 16 now and still get a comforting cuddle if they want one.

I remember having a cuddle blanket til I was about 5. I manage fine without it now Wink