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AIBU?

to suggest that my sister could cover boobs with a scarf....

493 replies

chocolatehobnobs · 31/05/2011 22:13

Sister has 2 DC 2 and 5 months. I am pg. She reckons she is the world expert on child rearing, never afraid to comment on other's parenting. We went for lunch at the weekend at Wagamama's. Staff were lovely and helpful offered highchair etc sis was vocally demanding a certain table and being a bit precious IMO. We were sitting next to 6 young guys (same table) Sis whips boob out and BF baby. I (and our neigbours who were eating) could see boob, dripping nipple. When she announced loudly that baby had bitten nipple I offered to pass her a scarf to save the boys blushes. She refused and said she was often complimented on being a good role model for BF. AIBU to want to do things differently or is she right?

OP posts:

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happy4eva · 09/06/2011 21:23

EWw tea in a bottle thats rank

happy4eva · 09/06/2011 21:22

YEAH!!! that one did !!! :)

happy4eva · 09/06/2011 21:22

awww my little smiley did not work :(

happy4eva · 09/06/2011 21:21

spoonfed chocolate??

What you mean melt choco to feed it?
Surely there would be no need give it them in their hand shocked:

Longtalljosie · 09/06/2011 20:57

Who is Eva, and why are you happy for her?

TimeWasting · 08/06/2011 23:36

I hate that bloody phrase 'each to their own' because only people who don't care about how they justify their actions say it.
People say it when someone worries about babies being spoonfed chocolate, or tea in a bottle.
When little girls wear t-shirts with Playboy bunnies on them and consider Katie Price a role model.
It's lazy and it's amoral.

happy4eva · 08/06/2011 23:28

calm down :)

ScroobiousPip · 08/06/2011 10:02

Opinions are not equal, that's why an earthquake prediction from the ring man (or other crazy) does not draw the same official response and commitment of govt resources as an intelligence report of an imminent terrorist attack, supported with evidence from the police or security services. One is credible, and supported by evidence, the other is mere hot air and opinion.

I can see why 'each to their own' is not a helpful phrase. It's so easily used but means little when the opinions you refer to actually impact on other women. In your case happy, you have made statements about toddlers being too old to bf in your opinion. For all that it is your opinion, it affects other women - that's why 'each to their own' doesn't really cut the mustard. Would have been different if you had said 'I wouldn't bfed my 2yo, but I don't have a problem with other women who choose to.' Then, 'each to your own' would be a reasonable response.

dementedma · 07/06/2011 22:14

wow, have only read some of this but seems to be a storm in a c-cup! have 3 Dcs and have bf and ff to varying degrees with all 3, as all 3 were different and my circumstances work-wise were also different each time.
My feelings are that if you are bfing, then it can be done discreetly without flashing veiny dripping boobs to all and sundry. if you are ffing, and it works for you and your lo, then go for it with pride. I have 3 hale and hearty DCs, each a combination of bf and ff. Stop bloody judging and just feed the buggers until they are old enough to feed themselves!!

happy4eva · 07/06/2011 21:54

why??

It only means everyone is different :)

TimeWasting · 07/06/2011 21:23

Please don't say that, that phrase makes my blood pressure skyrocket.

happy4eva · 07/06/2011 21:16

like i said each to their own :) :)

RitaMorgan · 07/06/2011 08:00

How silly, of course not all opinions are equal!

Some people are of the opinion that women are less intelligent than men, or that black people are less intelligent than white people - are their opinions equally valid?

I could be of the opinion that there are no benefits to breastfeeding, babies should all be fed condensed milk and sugar from birth as it is just as good - is that opinion equally valid too?

Of course you may hold any opinion you like, but just thinking something doesn't make it correct.

I'm a little confused about your statement about the American Academy of Pediatrics molly, do you have a link for that? It's just the AAP recommend exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months (which means no food or formula milk), continuing to breastfeed alongside solids til at least 12 months and for as long as the mother and child wish to continue. This is in line with NHS and WHO advice.

5DollarShake · 07/06/2011 00:21

Molly - you're the one telling people how they should and shouldn't do things.

No-one else is saying you MUST breastfeed your baby until 2 or beyond. they're simply saying it's OK to do so. You're the one saying it's not OK, and forcing your opinion of what's right and wrong on others. Talk about hypocritical.

And you haven't shut anyone up. We're not all stuck on Mumsnet 24/7 - we sometimes step away to do other things.

And to whoever said 'breastfeeding needs to be discreet and done with dignity' - oh, please!!!! Are formula-feeders expected to feed discreetly and 'with dignity'?!

chipmonkey · 06/06/2011 23:57

theinet bfing does not need to be done discreetly. You might have a personal preference that it is done discreetly but that doesn't count as a need.

Trees111 · 06/06/2011 23:33

I'm all for BF in public as its totally natural and the best way to feed baby...... but I think it can be done discreetly, no need to let it all hang out. So no I don't think you're being unreasonable. But clearly your sister (and other users here) think otherwise.

TimeWasting · 06/06/2011 23:32

Molly, what's the source for that reference?
And no, you didn't shut me up, I was just doing something else.

Happy, you think it's wrong cos you've never seen it before?
Good lord but I hate that phrase, 'each to their own' yeuch.
No one is telling you to breastfeed a toddler. You have however said that you think it's wrong. Based on fuck all.

Theinet - breastfeeding needs to be done however the mother and baby find to be most appropriate and comfortable.
Would it be appropriate to bottle feed at a communal table?

shmoz · 06/06/2011 23:29

''Breast feeding needs to be discreet and done with dignity''

Says who? Have I missed some new legislation on this? No, didnt think so.

Longtalljosie · 06/06/2011 23:22

Gah! Bloody iPhone. ? after school and its not it's

theinet · 06/06/2011 23:21

Breast feeding needs to be discreet and done with dignity. Your sister did neither, she showed off her dripping breasts in public to young men, purely as shock value.

Longtalljosie · 06/06/2011 23:20

Sorry Molly, views are not "equal". They're not a free-for-all. I wouldn't walk up to an eminent scientist and tell him I "reckoned" he was wrong just because "all views are equal". Nonsense. If they are, what's the point in going to school. You'll find on MN if you state something as fact, you'll be expected to back it up with a source, so people can evaluate it's merit. In this case, I think the AAP woman is talking utter nonsense. If giving up breastfeeding is traumatic for some children, it'll be far harder pre-12 months before they can understand or be distracted. The advice also runs contrary to the WHO advice.

chipmonkey · 06/06/2011 23:19

happy4eva, having bfed two of mine past two, I can tell you they have had no issues whatsoever with being separated from me. They have both, in fact, attended nursery since they were 6 months old and ds3 was definitely not clinging to my legs on the first day of school, unlike his little friend who was formula fed from birth (NOT saying it was formula that caused the clinginess, she was just that sort of child!)

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theinet · 06/06/2011 23:14

The behaviour in Wagamma is absolutely disgusting.

I've nothing against breastfeeding, but people are sat on a communal table, eating a meal.

Your sister should have had some respect for them instead of selfishly imposing herself like that.

The only upside is i expect breastfeeding the baby kept it from crying and ruining their meal that way.

happy4eva · 06/06/2011 23:10

I was not being horrible , It was just somthing i had not really heard about or seen at such an older age was all :)
but each to their own

molly45 · 06/06/2011 23:08

:)
It shut them up though didnt it.
Learnt the world is not so black and white :)

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