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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

up shit creek without a paddle.... Urgent help/advice needed please.

263 replies

HolyFail · 31/05/2011 15:45

Regular poster with recent namechange here....

A friend of mine was seeing this guy - a lot older than her, he is very well off and as a birthday present offered to buy her veneers (sp*)

So she went to a dental clinic, had her actual teeth filed down to pins and is wearing temp veneers until her appointment next week.

1st payment was made (cash, by him)
2nd payment is due next week before the job is complete (thousands of pounds due)

He has dumped her! And told her to sort it out herself - she is a young woman with no money - sure she works, but is not earning enough to pay for this and she has requested to pay on finance but she has a crap credit rating so has therefore been declined!

In addition to "How could you be so stupid" What can I advise her here? Does anyone have any experience in this kind of thing?

Any suggestions welcome? We've been through how stupid she has been, we just need to find a way to sort this?

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 31/05/2011 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eurostar · 31/05/2011 22:23

I was always told that in UK law a verbal promise constitutes a legal and binding contract. Presumably dentist, dental nurse and possibly reception staff were witness to conversations about his promise to pay?

Were her teeth really so bad at the age of 22? Was she told that she will need expensive dental work done several more times in her life to have these veneers replaced?

Boyfriend and dentist sound like charlatans.

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 22:25

herbie, I saw nothing wrong with her 'original' teeth.

IMO this guy was very image conscious, there was talk of teeth whitening, veneers, breast enlargement - you name it! Obviously I told her this was ringing alarm bells with me (meet a new guy, immediately he wants to buy you new teeth, breasts etc - sounds odd)

The weird thing is that the reason they broke up started becase she had had hair extensions without him knowing!!!!

Believe me, I am way Confused with it all, but unfortunately it's RL for me at the moment

OP posts:
nijinsky · 31/05/2011 22:25

Is it just her front teeth she has had prepped for veneers? She could go abroad to get them done, much much cheaper. I've had dental treatment in Spain for around 1/3 of the price here. Anywhere with a Ryanair flight, she could stay in a youth hostel. The temps should last for a while but not ideal, but the best veneers are porcelain, hence the cost.

She could try the NHS or a dental hospital? Yes, she could see a solicitor as there may be some kind of contract implied by conduct, although there is no consideration on her side (unless she is in Scotland in which case gratuitous voluntary obligations are binding but she would need written proof of its terms), but it will cost her and take time.

herbietea · 31/05/2011 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jasper · 31/05/2011 22:29

Listen to Herbie!!! She's a dental nurse.

Do I need to come out of retirement to elaborate?

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 22:30

nijinsky - 8 front teeth on top (AFAIK)

OP posts:
jasper · 31/05/2011 22:30

OP how many teeth have been prepared for veneers?

ohmyfucksy · 31/05/2011 22:31

I think the prep for them, while not as visually drastic, can be quite damaging. It's certainly not an ideal state for your teeth to be in and long term they will decay faster because they have much less enamel protecting them. DH was thinking about getting veneers but it was the thought of damaging perfectly healthy tooth, and them needing to be replaced every 10-15 years, that put him off. He's got a cute gappy smile anyway

jasper · 31/05/2011 22:39

the link mumbling posted does NOT show teeth prepared for veneers, even if it claims to. It is an image by a disgruntled patient who thought they were getting veneers , and yes , it is possible they were misled by the dentist.Or possible that they misunderstood that they were in fact getting crowns.

But those are NOT veneer preps.

FabbyChic · 31/05/2011 22:45

She could get a full set of decent dentures for a grand, that might be an option.

supercal · 31/05/2011 22:46

Your friend is barasic, has a bad credit rating and has only just entered the working world. Spending money on hair extensions and other cosmetic stuff is perhaps not wise, no?

And btw, how has she managed to get a bad credit rating at such a young age if she's only just started working? Not saying it's impossible, I'm just being nosey.

sarahtigh · 31/05/2011 22:49

another dentist here, unfortunately what I call veneers and dentists trained in uk call veneers; is not what some celeb dentists call veneers. venners are very thin and attached like false nail in fact in some cases you do not need to remove any tooth at all but preparation should stay in enamel the top 1-2mm. what picture above shown was what I would call preparations for crowns but when you see programs like 10 years younger etc they call crowns veneers or wrap round veneers so sound less drastic. they also do not say that veneers last about 10-15 years they may well last longer but as we age the gum line shrinks so will expose fitting edge which does not look so good

In uk unless you are mentally incapable and someone has welfare powers of attorney only you can sign consent to treatment so your friend must have agreed to treatment that of course is not saying she promised the dentist to foot the bill, once dentist had taken impressions they would have been turned into models within 48 hours and the veneers are probably made by now that is the biggest cost in the procedure not the final fit appointment, so someone has to pay lab bill I can not see here why the dentist should fork out, not saying anything about treatment plan obviously as have not seen the patient, if you are nice to dentist he may agree to staged payments you can not do credit unless licensed
there is nothing here to suggest anyone has carried out an assault

while temporaries may stay attached to your friends teeth for a lot longer than 10 days they can not be left indefinitely as the fit at the gum margin will not be good enough and would risk over a few months gum disease and maybe decay at the edges

while i sympathise I agree with OP that this is an very expensive lesson in life and her friend was a bit silly to take on cosmetic treatment she could not pay for herself, whether BF is legally liable I have no idea not legal expert
but good luck trying to sort it for her you are a good mate

sarahtigh · 31/05/2011 22:53

this is a better link to what venners should look like, i do not use this lab and know nothing about them so am not endorsing them or anything just a link for pictures www.28acelabs.com/veneers.php

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 22:53

supercal, i have no idea about her credit rating, perhaps she has no credit rating IYSWIM? (as in you need to have credit to get credit??) not sure about that one tbh.

agreed on the cosmetic purchases, what can I say, exhausted with it all now.

OP posts:
supercal · 31/05/2011 22:55

it was just you said she had a crap credit rating

hopefully she will learn to be wise with her money and the decisions she makes in future Smile

FabbyChic · 31/05/2011 22:57

Sarah thats a terrible after picture the veneers should be the same colour as the rest of the teeth not a totally different colour.

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 22:58

supercal, thanks - lesson well and truly learned I hope!

my first comment when she told me was "Get a loan" she replied that she had tried that and had been declined. She told me it was due to credit rating.

I assumed a crap credit rating

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 31/05/2011 23:00

your poor friend, though tbh she was a bit silly not to get the money up front from her then boyfriend

bf has veneers as only had milk/baby teeth so had all replaced on nhs when she was about 20

hopefully the dentist can come up with a payment plan

or contact a trashy newspaper/magazine to see if they will pay for it

sarahtigh · 31/05/2011 23:05

fabby was a picture more to show that veneers do not remove half tooth, looked for first picture quickly as I said not endorsing lab but they should match but you would be surprised that more than 50% of patients actually want them lighter than teeth next to them even though that makes natural teeth look worse, it is the same with dentures choosing a shade of white only a baby has naturally then being surprised everyone knows they are false

ohmyfucksy · 31/05/2011 23:09

They don't remove half the tooth, but it still looks pretty shit without a veneer over it. I would not be happy.

jasper · 31/05/2011 23:27

That's exactly right, what sarahtigh says about some people ( Dentists and patients ) referring to ceramic cosmetic restorations as "veneers" when they are strictly speaking no such thing.

I cringe when I see programmes like 10 years younger when the voiceover says "Ugly wrinkly fat girl is having her smile made over with 10 porcelain veneers" and you see a close up of the dentist doing very invasive ( ie drilling away lots of teeth ) preparations.

I even get my own patients asking for veneers and when I ask them what they mean by veneers they haven't a clue.

I also get new patients pointing to teeth that have been CROWNED and saying " I got these veneers done at such and such..."

and they say " No, they're veneers" and I resist saying " Where did you get your BDS degree? Not where I got mine "

Anyway I am digressing . The OP's friend's dentist will already have incurred lab costs far greater than the £1500 paid so far.

jasper · 31/05/2011 23:31

sara don't you think the link you put up shows fairly invasive veneer preps?
I never remove that much tooth. ( but have seen far worse in the name of "veneers")

The whole point of veneers is that very little, sometimes no tooth is removed.

I rarely place temporaries as the teeth don't look much different after I prep them

jasper · 31/05/2011 23:32

I an just imagine what Judge Judy would say for this one! Grin

iscream · 01/06/2011 07:07

jasper Tue 31-May-11 23:32:30

"I an just imagine what Judge Judy would say for this one!"
She's say "Beauty fades but dumb is forever"