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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

up shit creek without a paddle.... Urgent help/advice needed please.

263 replies

HolyFail · 31/05/2011 15:45

Regular poster with recent namechange here....

A friend of mine was seeing this guy - a lot older than her, he is very well off and as a birthday present offered to buy her veneers (sp*)

So she went to a dental clinic, had her actual teeth filed down to pins and is wearing temp veneers until her appointment next week.

1st payment was made (cash, by him)
2nd payment is due next week before the job is complete (thousands of pounds due)

He has dumped her! And told her to sort it out herself - she is a young woman with no money - sure she works, but is not earning enough to pay for this and she has requested to pay on finance but she has a crap credit rating so has therefore been declined!

In addition to "How could you be so stupid" What can I advise her here? Does anyone have any experience in this kind of thing?

Any suggestions welcome? We've been through how stupid she has been, we just need to find a way to sort this?

OP posts:
PinotGrigiosKittens · 31/05/2011 16:24

I think the temporary ones can be worn for ages so she has some time to sort something out.

Her DP was a twat of the highest order.

baboos · 31/05/2011 16:25

If there is absolutely no avenues for her to find the money, could you take out a loan for her...........appreciate this relies on how strong your friendship is.

CallMeBubblesEverybodyDoes · 31/05/2011 16:27

your poor friend, that's awful :(

I have read somewhere that temporary veneers and crowns can be worn for at least a year. She might get the odd one that falls off but the dentist that fitted them may be able to refit her with another temporary one and the cost should be minimal for her.

I would advise her to speak to the dentist and let them know what's happened.

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 16:28

£5,500, £1,500 paid so balance is £4,000

But this price was given on the basis that it was cash - so the finance route may well bump up the price.

I'd love to help her financially but have already explored this avenue and it's not feasible (well I can't come up with the full amount, but I've given her a few hundred)

OP posts:
MackerelOfFact · 31/05/2011 16:28

Gosh, how awful. Can she not just go to an emergency dentist and plead for some kind of rectification? If the NHS fix botched boob jobs and the like, surely they have responsibility to fix other private/cosmetic treatments that haven't quite worked out as planned? I mean, surely they can't just leave her with no teeth, even if the private dentist thinks he can.

CallMeBubblesEverybodyDoes · 31/05/2011 16:29

Has she sought any legal advice at all?

mathanxiety · 31/05/2011 16:30

Solicitor to go after the boyfriend.

Could she threaten this man with prosecution for some form of assault? Theft? Breach of contract?

TattyDevine · 31/05/2011 16:32

Surely her parents can help out? Lots of people with grown up children (not all, I know) could jig things a bit, take out a loan for her, put it on their credit card, cash in an ISA, something, anything, rather than see their daughter with pegs for teeth at Sunday lunch?!?

God what an awful story.

MackerelOfFact · 31/05/2011 16:33

BTW, he sounds like a right charmer. What kind of shallow c*nt gives his girlfriend a cosmetic procedure for a birthday present in the first place?

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/05/2011 16:34

I would seek legal advice sharpish. Did he pay cash to the dentist? Did he say in front of anyone that it was a present. I don't know about the UK but in the US there is detrimental reliance (she relied on him saying that he would pay, to her detriment). A threat to sue might work...

Northernlurker · 31/05/2011 16:35

Is this his dentist?

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 16:36

All very good suggestions, thanks! She is contacting the bastard him to appeal to his better nature, although I dont think this will be successful.

He is not the type of person you would want to be on the wrong side of IYSWIM, so not keen on the legal action route - this would be a last resort.

I am confident that we will be able to come to some arrangement with the dentist.

But glad to hear the points about temporary veneers lasting a little longer than the 10 days specified, I'll mention this to her - it could buy us more time.

OP posts:
Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 16:39

Mackerel I know! Shallow is not the word for it!

She went in with him for teeth whitening, and came out with an appointment for a full set of veneers!!!

Oh god, my stomach is on knots for her! She should never have agreed to this, but it's done now so no point doing ifs and ands....

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 31/05/2011 16:40

Ask the dentist how much it would be to buy them one at a time - is that possible?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/05/2011 16:41

It sounds to me as if he did this ON PURPOSE. To leave this girl with no teeth. Horrible. :(

Is there something she can sell, OP, to put down a bit of cash towards the dental work? Perhaps the dentist would be more inclined to carry on the arrangement if the girl switches to that practice, so developing a relationship with them? If dentist can see a regular monthly payment, that should go some way to appeasing them.

I don't see that the ex can be made to pay; her teeth, her debt at the end of the day. He has no obligation to her just because he's a loser.

StellaSays · 31/05/2011 16:41

How awful! :( what a massive dickhead her xp has been! I would suggest phoning thr police or looking at a legal website to see if he has broken the law, this could count as assault!

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 16:42

Northern - good one! It's an option at least

On a pay as you go basis for teeth...who'd have thought it eh?

OP posts:
ScrotalPantomime · 31/05/2011 16:48

Omg how utterly awful Angry

Of course hopefully some finance can be sorted out, and also the legal aspects (is a gift recognised in law? I never studied that aspect, am interested to know.

In the meantime though, start looking up dentistry courses at universities. I'm not sure how you'd go about it, but my dad had thousands worth of dental treatment done for free by supervised dental students in London. They assessed him and basically because his teeth were bad enough he qualified. Worth finding out.

Northernlurker · 31/05/2011 16:59

If git features was there when the arrangements were made the dentist may have heard him say he would pay and may therefore put some pressure on him to pay at least part.

WhoAteMySnickers · 31/05/2011 17:07

Someone has signed a contract with the dentist for the full treatment. The dentist won't have started the work, especially filing her teeth down, without a contract in place.

No doubt work has started on making the veneers and the dentist will want his money, or at least some of it, whether she proceeds with the rest of the work or not.

She needs to seek legal advice.

What a twat.

Popbiscuit · 31/05/2011 17:07

This is horrifying and would surely would count as some sort of assault? Hugs to your friend x

GollyHolightly · 31/05/2011 17:10

I hate to say it but I also thought he may have done this on purpose, to disfigure her for some reason. I cannot think of a single other reason why he would leave the poor woman in this state knowing that she doesn't have the means to pay.

What a cunt.

SarahBumBarer · 31/05/2011 17:15

Bloody hell - tell her to speak to a solicitor or CAB legal advisor and ask about "promissory estoppel".

Tell her to tell the git to google promissory estoppel and that she will be suing him for the money. It is under the Small Claims Court limit so she can claim without having to incur massive amounts of legal costs.

Just gobsmacked, really.

Northernlurker · 31/05/2011 17:16

He may not have the means to pay either. Yes I agree there is something horiibly pre-meditated about this.

insertcleverusernamehere · 31/05/2011 17:19

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