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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

up shit creek without a paddle.... Urgent help/advice needed please.

263 replies

HolyFail · 31/05/2011 15:45

Regular poster with recent namechange here....

A friend of mine was seeing this guy - a lot older than her, he is very well off and as a birthday present offered to buy her veneers (sp*)

So she went to a dental clinic, had her actual teeth filed down to pins and is wearing temp veneers until her appointment next week.

1st payment was made (cash, by him)
2nd payment is due next week before the job is complete (thousands of pounds due)

He has dumped her! And told her to sort it out herself - she is a young woman with no money - sure she works, but is not earning enough to pay for this and she has requested to pay on finance but she has a crap credit rating so has therefore been declined!

In addition to "How could you be so stupid" What can I advise her here? Does anyone have any experience in this kind of thing?

Any suggestions welcome? We've been through how stupid she has been, we just need to find a way to sort this?

OP posts:
FakePlasticTrees · 31/05/2011 21:07

Just a thought, if all else fails, get in touch with the nearest dental school - ok, student work is always a bit of a risk, but it's better than a mouth full of pegs...

megagusset · 31/05/2011 21:07

Could this be a possible charge of attempt to cause grievious bodily harm? No idea, just seems very bizarre, as if he intended to leave this poor girl 'disfigured'?

WhoAteMySnickers · 31/05/2011 21:07

Did you find out who signed the contract with the dentist?

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 21:09

she is going to look a twat either way tbh

but personally I'd rather look a twat with teeth.... Grin

Sorry, shouldn't laugh - but this situation is laughable! DP & I cannot believe she has got herself into this situation!

OP posts:
Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 21:13

Snickers she said she signed it, after handing over the first instalment (cash)

But surely the contract/agreement would be in place before the work was carried out - that's why I'm going to attend the dentist appointment, this particular part seems very odd to me.

My friend referred to the 'work' not going through the books, so a catelogue of errors IMO Shock

OP posts:
herbietea · 31/05/2011 21:25

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herbietea · 31/05/2011 21:28

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MumblingRagDoll · 31/05/2011 21:28

no herbietea....your tooth is filed down. It is like a fals nail but it could not slide over a whole tooth...there would not be room between gums.

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 21:31

herbie - i mean it seems like the dentist is not declaring this income - its not that difficult to believe, it happens across various professions

OP posts:
ScrotalPantomime · 31/05/2011 21:31

It sounds quite deliberate to me. He must be really well off to pay out that much for a new girlfriend, and if he is so rich then surely he could just lend her the £4k?

OP can you tell us why he dumped her? What else was going on?

WhoAteMySnickers · 31/05/2011 21:33

Sounds like your friend hasn't a clue what she signed and if what she claims is true wrt not signing anything until her teeth had been filed down, work not going through the books and cash in hand, then he's no reputable dentist. Good luck getting a solicitor on side with that fuck up story.

I think she needs to be very very very nice to the dentist.

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 21:34

and i do not have the desire nor the inclination to prove this situation in any way to anyone, I came here for advice - the best advice being the promissory estoppel, I am grateful for that.

I am continuing to update this as it is in the interest of many on this thread. (I expect to be updated on other threads I have been involved in)

I do however wish this was make believe, it's not.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 31/05/2011 21:36

I suppose a cheaper alternative will be to have what is left of the teeth pulled out and false ones put in.

herbietea · 31/05/2011 21:37

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Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 21:37

snickers a fuck up indeed. I just want to help clear this mess up, like i said I have a few questions of my own which I'd like answered - it is completely and utterly bizarre

OP posts:
Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 21:40

Hmm herbie, i know many people with veneers and i have seen veneers come away, the tooth left behind is generally half a tooth (if that), and certainly not something you could pass as a normal tooth.

OP posts:
BimboNo5 · 31/05/2011 21:42

Sounds like bullshit to me but then again truth is often stranger than fiction...

icooksocks · 31/05/2011 21:42

I have googled the veneers process. I assume now that the had her actual teeth filed down to pins is for dramatic effect more than anything.

That said your friends ex is a twat.

Pedallleur · 31/05/2011 21:42

Someone paid cash so I'll assume there is no receipt but I presume that dentists have to keep a patient record of treatment not payment. Veneers are what an earlier poster said - thin slivers of material that are glued to the front of teeth to present an even look. Pegs are used for implants.
What was wrong with her teeth anyway that she wanted cosmetic surgery and wanted someone else to pay? Good job she hadn't got implants as well!
Chances are the dentist will assist, not because of 'bad publicity' but his professional body may step in so she should appeal to him/her and see if a payment plan can be arranged. However, he/ she is not a bank/loan company and may want some kind of surety to get the money (prob.with interest).

supercal · 31/05/2011 21:45

I'm also struggling to believe this.

And am quite Hmm that you and her thought it a good idea to name and shame the dentist. FFS.

squeakytoy · 31/05/2011 21:47

from that link

"Using a special tool called a burr (a dental drill or file), a tiny part of the front surface of your teeth will be shaved off"

So I dont believe that the teeth have been filed down to pins.. have you actually seen this for yourself Op? or is this girl prone to exagerating?

herbietea · 31/05/2011 21:47

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Snuppeline · 31/05/2011 21:51

Ooohmyhgoddh!

Could dentist and "bf" be in on a scheme together? Bf gets girls lured in to whiten teeth and between them they convince the girl to get veneers. Bf puts down the cash for the first installment and then disappears, leaving girl to pick up tab... I'm sure I've watched too many movies... Certainly THAT would have been a story for the press!

Anyway, sensation stories aside I do think you should ask your friend how the pair meet. Since they were together only 5 months could he have singled her out to punish her for something? Has she slighted a friend of his? Has one of her friends slighted one of his? Sounds odd perhaps but with youngsters the cruelest of things are done for revenge and showing people up. Is/was she connected to him through facebook? Can she see his status updates etc? Perhaps he is bragging about it. She should certainly try to keep an eye on him and friends (in the virtual as well as the real world) because if any bragging/sniggering takes place she may well be able to use that as proof that the incident was planned and as such it was GBH. Do your friend have any access to his friends? Perhaps someone can tell her in confidence what he's saying about their split?

I'd also really like to know why you and your friend are afraid of this guy? Has he been violent to her? Threatened her?

I would go the route of solicitors first and depending on the bf behaviour now that whatever it was he seems to have set out to do (gloat, brag or similar) has been done I'd also go to the police (if only to get a record of the incident in case he turns out to be the acid-throwing kind). I would not go to, or threaten to go to, the press yet as this can potentially piss the dentist off and might also create a dangerous situation with a nutter. It can obviously be a plan C if all else fails.

WhoAteMySnickers · 31/05/2011 21:51

I too have googled veneers... And am in agreement that your friends teeth having been filed down to pins is bullshit.

Oh and is she aware that they will probably need replacing in 5-10 years? She had better start saving now. Fuckwit.

shineoncrazydiam0nd · 31/05/2011 21:53

Agree. Your tooth is filed to a point when you have a crown fitted - because a crown covers the whole bottom of the tooth < said in laymans terms! > And with veneers they just slice a sliver of if that. My good friend has them.

So I say your pants are a bit hot Grin