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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

up shit creek without a paddle.... Urgent help/advice needed please.

263 replies

HolyFail · 31/05/2011 15:45

Regular poster with recent namechange here....

A friend of mine was seeing this guy - a lot older than her, he is very well off and as a birthday present offered to buy her veneers (sp*)

So she went to a dental clinic, had her actual teeth filed down to pins and is wearing temp veneers until her appointment next week.

1st payment was made (cash, by him)
2nd payment is due next week before the job is complete (thousands of pounds due)

He has dumped her! And told her to sort it out herself - she is a young woman with no money - sure she works, but is not earning enough to pay for this and she has requested to pay on finance but she has a crap credit rating so has therefore been declined!

In addition to "How could you be so stupid" What can I advise her here? Does anyone have any experience in this kind of thing?

Any suggestions welcome? We've been through how stupid she has been, we just need to find a way to sort this?

OP posts:
Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 20:33

Ok, I've spoken to my friend, she contacted NHS - waited ages for a call back to be told that they could not help in this instance (which is fair enough IMO)

She tried ringing knobed ex boyfriend and his phone has been off all day - we suspect he has changed numbers!!!

So, tomorrow she is ringing the dentist and going to see a solicitor. She is going to explain the situation and see what the dentist can do for her, if she doesn't get the response she would like (i.e, of course you can pay by instalments over the next few years) then she is prepared with a speech detailing how she will be contacting a solicitor - which means dentist will have to verify that boyf confirmed that he would pay, also that she would be going to newspapers/magazines and will name and shame both the boyf and the dentist. The dentist also has many celebrity clients, so I do not think he would be too pleased with any negative publicity.

I have passed on the promissory estoppel details for her to research tonight and prepare before she speaks with a solicitor.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 31/05/2011 20:39

I think it would be unwise to threaten the dentist. He acted in good faith here and her beef is not with him when it all boils down.

She should also make certain that she actually owes the dentist or that he sees things that way before she shoots her mouth off about publicity. The dentist may want to go after the exBF too, and presumably has the means to do so.

She should go to the solicitor first (cancel the dentist appt if needs be in order to see the solicitor beforehand), see if she has grounds to stand on (I think she does) and then have the solicitor negotiate with the dentist if this is necessary, and also start proceedings against the exBF.

scurryfunge · 31/05/2011 20:42

Her early bargaining point should not be to go to the press -a dentist will tell her to do one, quite rightly. She needs to speak to a solicitor.

scotsgirl23 · 31/05/2011 20:43

I wouldn't go for threatening the dentist with negative publicity if she is going to need his co-operation to try and pursue the boyfriend. BY all means talk to the dentist but I'd leave off the threats to name and shame them.

The dentist hasn't done anything wrong.

WhoAteMySnickers · 31/05/2011 20:44

I dont think she needs to be going into the dentist with an attitude and talking about "naming and shaming" the dentist if she doesnt hear what she wants.

I think your friend needs to accept some responsibility fir the situation she is in.

When deciding to go ahead with a set of veneers that she couldn't afford herself, how did she think she was going to pay for any maintenance or, God forbid, if they need completely redoing at any point?

Hullygully · 31/05/2011 20:45

REALLY?

REALLY REALLY REALLY?

If so, wow.

TheRainInSpain · 31/05/2011 20:46

Oh god, how awful for your friend Sad

I wish I had some advice to add. I do hope she gets something sorted.

squeakytoy · 31/05/2011 20:47

I dont understand how she is not keen to go on a legal route because the boyfriend is a nasty git, but she would go to the national press to name and shame him Confused ...

Earlybird · 31/05/2011 20:48

Obviously when the ex was paying, the dentist would have made a nice profit from the work. Perhaps if your friend explains her dire situation to the dentist he will take pity and give her a break on price - or perhaps will make a special exception on a payment plan.

Btw - how long was your friend in a relationship with this man?

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 20:49

good point math, we've discussed this.

She will be mentioning to the dentist that she will be going public, hoping that he sees it in his best interest to help (in the nicest possible way IYSWIM)

I agree that she should see a solicitor first, to understand her options.

I'm calling her now.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 31/05/2011 20:52

So, she's going to attempt to blackmail the dentist. albeit in "the nicest way possible" Hmm

Ishani · 31/05/2011 20:53

The dentist will help her I am sure of it, don't go threatening him though it will just reflect badly on her and the last thing any of us need is dentists demanding payment up front before they begin treatment which is how things will end up if people back them into a corner.

Ishani · 31/05/2011 20:55

Going public pmsl who will look a twat in that scenerio I wonder.

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 20:55

Right - agreed that she will not be issuing threats to the dentist - we want him on side.

Solicitor first.

FWIW I am not condoning her behaviour, i have already given her the third degree about being stupid.

She was seeing the guy for 5 months!!! I know, I know - seriously!

OP posts:
ohmyfucksy · 31/05/2011 20:56

Wow at this.

Agree there is no need to threaten the dentist. Solicitor first, and see what they say. She doesn't want to get herself into further trouble by libelling or slandering the dentist. The promissory whatsit sounds promising (so to speak). Hopefully there will be a contract between the dentist and the boyfriend.

skybluepearl · 31/05/2011 20:56

yes she should talk to some mags about the situation - she would probably get some money for that.

ohmyfucksy · 31/05/2011 20:57

x post

breathing · 31/05/2011 20:57

I find it hard to believe that any dentist would just leave someone filed and with temporaries for "good".

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 20:59

breathing - that's what we're hoping

OP posts:
shineoncrazydiam0nd · 31/05/2011 21:01

This is real?

I am struggling to believe it tbh!

ohmyfucksy · 31/05/2011 21:01

A very very nice dentist might be persuaded to do it at cost price, which would be significantly less...

FakePlasticTrees · 31/05/2011 21:05

I think the dentist will want to help, esp if he has celebrity clients - he will be aware he's able to charge a premium for his reputation, and that young woman with no teeth aren't likely to keep quiet about it and just go away. I would suggest talking to him and see what he can do. If after all that he refuses to help out with a payment plan, then get on to the press.

Yes she'll look a twat, but she'll look a twat for a few weeks, her ex'll be embarrassed by it and she'll have the money for fixing her teeth. Needs must and all that.

beesimo · 31/05/2011 21:06

If dentist has put temps on wouldn't he have taken impressions first? Therefore the veneers will be in the process of getting made, they are no use to anyone but OPs friend so to be honest I don't see there will be that huge a problem.

IMO the dentist will have to pay lab fees anyway so whatever he can get off OPs friend is better than nowt.

Be a bit more hopeful about it all.

Original poster
HolyFail · 31/05/2011 21:06

there is also a 22 year old girl who wishes this were not real either shineon but I can see your point, this would not happen in normal life.

OP posts:
Earlybird · 31/05/2011 21:06

The dentist has done nothing wrong. Talk of blackmailing him, or threatening him with negative press are ridiculous.